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 Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 7:06 pm
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could tell he was getting uncomfortable and was on the verge of a meltdown so I told him he didn’t have to and he could go hang out with his bf or his cousins who were outside and he scurried out of there faster.”
“My MIL said that he was being rude and that I undermined her and shouldn’t have let him disrespect her like that and my wife agreed that I should have tried to at least give her a hug. AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
NTA – Not the A**hole
YTA – You’re the A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
A majority of Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA. Your MIL and your wife are flat-out wrong.” – MaggieLuisa
“Don’t forget it was the kid’s first time in meting mil even I would not want to kiss and cuddle anyone I just met at 16 what is your wife and mil thinking. NTA” – lynnebrad70
“No one should ever be forced to be touched by someone they do not want touching them. Not ever. Bodily autonomy must be respected, even by ‘southern mom types.’”
“The whole ‘it’s rude of you to refuse to let me assault you’ notion needs to die a swift & fiery death.” – Kathrynlena
“My kids are 5 and under and even they know they don’t have to touch/hug anyone they don’t want.”
“Their aunts, uncles and their grandparents always want to give them a hug, but my kids know they can choose to hug, give them a handshake or wave to them depending on how comfortable they feel with the person.”
“Sometimes the other person gets offended but they can suck it up, I’m not forcing my kids to hug them and give up their bodily autonomy to make you feel better!”
“Everyone should be able to set their boundaries and uphold them, they should not have to bend them in order to make others comfortable, especially someone they are meeting for the first time!”
“Your MIL and wife should be WAY more understanding, your nephew does not have to have physical contact with anyone unless HE feels comfortable doing so!” – chocgram
“NTA! Ask your wife if she would be comfortable at 15 being forced to hug / kiss an older man the first time she met him.”
“Not having any say in the matter… Just because it’s HER mother demanding the hug, it doesn’t make it less uncomfortable for a kid with sensory issues & has gone through losing his mom & having to uproot his life.”
“Personally, I think the #metoo campaign stressed consent and we should allow everyone the right to refuse unwanted touching. Male, female, nonbinary, etc – every person should be allowed body autonomy.”
“Thanks for stepping up and taking care of this kid!”
“Your SO needs to familiarize herself about sensory issues so she can appreciate why this child should be allowed to fist bump, elbow bump, or just say ‘hello’ to people.” – R4catstoomany
“NTA. Body autonomy is important. Nobody should be forced to hug or kiss someone if they don’t want to.”
“I’d even go so far as to say the fact that your MIL wants to hug and kiss someone who doesn’t want that is a bit weird.” – VVillyD
“NTA. Of course you’re not the a**hole.”
“What your nephew does with his body is his choice. Good for you for looking out for your nephew.” – fleurdegreen
Redditors on the spectrum shared their thoughts on the relatable situation.
“Autistic person here.”
Our Community
2,397
Comments posted on Percolately this month
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Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2021 7:06 pm
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could tell he was getting uncomfortable and was on the verge of a meltdown so I told him he didn’t have to and he could go hang out with his bf or his cousins who were outside and he scurried out of there faster.”
“My MIL said that he was being rude and that I undermined her and shouldn’t have let him disrespect her like that and my wife agreed that I should have tried to at least give her a hug. AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
NTA – Not the A**hole
YTA – You’re the A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
A majority of Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA. Your MIL and your wife are flat-out wrong.” – MaggieLuisa
“Don’t forget it was the kid’s first time in meting mil even I would not want to kiss and cuddle anyone I just met at 16 what is your wife and mil thinking. NTA” – lynnebrad70
“No one should ever be forced to be touched by someone they do not want touching them. Not ever. Bodily autonomy must be respected, even by ‘southern mom types.’”
“The whole ‘it’s rude of you to refuse to let me assault you’ notion needs to die a swift & fiery death.” – Kathrynlena
“My kids are 5 and under and even they know they don’t have to touch/hug anyone they don’t want.”
“Their aunts, uncles and their grandparents always want to give them a hug, but my kids know they can choose to hug, give them a handshake or wave to them depending on how comfortable they feel with the person.”
“Sometimes the other person gets offended but they can suck it up, I’m not forcing my kids to hug them and give up their bodily autonomy to make you feel better!”
“Everyone should be able to set their boundaries and uphold them, they should not have to bend them in order to make others comfortable, especially someone they are meeting for the first time!”
“Your MIL and wife should be WAY more understanding, your nephew does not have to have physical contact with anyone unless HE feels comfortable doing so!” – chocgram
“NTA! Ask your wife if she would be comfortable at 15 being forced to hug / kiss an older man the first time she met him.”
“Not having any say in the matter… Just because it’s HER mother demanding the hug, it doesn’t make it less uncomfortable for a kid with sensory issues & has gone through losing his mom & having to uproot his life.”
“Personally, I think the #metoo campaign stressed consent and we should allow everyone the right to refuse unwanted touching. Male, female, nonbinary, etc – every person should be allowed body autonomy.”
“Thanks for stepping up and taking care of this kid!”
“Your SO needs to familiarize herself about sensory issues so she can appreciate why this child should be allowed to fist bump, elbow bump, or just say ‘hello’ to people.” – R4catstoomany
“NTA. Body autonomy is important. Nobody should be forced to hug or kiss someone if they don’t want to.”
“I’d even go so far as to say the fact that your MIL wants to hug and kiss someone who doesn’t want that is a bit weird.” – VVillyD
“NTA. Of course you’re not the a**hole.”
“What your nephew does with his body is his choice. Good for you for looking out for your nephew.” – fleurdegreen
Redditors on the spectrum shared their thoughts on the relatable situation.
“Autistic person here.”
Our Community
2,397
Comments posted on Percolately this month
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:44 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:44 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:45 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:45 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:46 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:56 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
Our Community
2,416
Comments posted on Percolately this month
“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
Our Community
2,416
Comments posted on Percolately this month
“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
Our Community
2,416
Comments posted on Percolately this month
“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
Our Community
2,416
Comments posted on Percolately this month
“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
Our Community
2,416
Comments posted on Percolately this month
“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
Our Community
2,416
Comments posted on Percolately this month
“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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Posted: Sat Aug 07, 2021 4:57 pm
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ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP has more than put herself out there for her BF. She’s covered a lot of things she shouldn’t have to and her BF seems unwilling to start looking for a new job.
If not paying for lunch is what makes him upset after everything else she’s done, she’s not the one wrong here.
“NTA – holy moly, does this guy have any good traits? He sounds lazy, unmotivated, entitled, whiny.”
“If this is how he’s acting as your boyfriend, do you really want to see a future with this guy? People tend to be on their best behavior while dating!” – jacraek
“Congratulations OP you have managed to find yourself a leech, someone in his behaviour definitely needs to change if he wants this relationship to last because his attitude is not something that you deserve to put up with for much longer.”
“NTA” – Scarsguard11
“NTA. I missed the part of your post where you explained why you haven’t dumped this guy yet.”
“He has his own mommy, so the relationship with you seems a bit redundant.” – TheBestPeter
“NTA.”
“He’s an adult and should start acting like one.”
“That aside, how is his mental health? It still isn’t an excuse if it’s bad, but getting help may improve your situation.” – HotBananaCoffee
Many other comments questioned why OP was still in this relationship.
“YTA”
“Not to him, to yourself.”
“You seems smart enough to see where this situation is going, why are you making a big deal over lunch? Do the right thing for both of you.” – mad_throwaway123
“Very good point, thank you for your response” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
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“NTA but (and I say this with the nicest intent) [you’re] an idiot. You’re wasting part of your life on this jerk.”
“He has no motivation to work (which would be sad even if he were a billionaire), mooches off of you, and can’t even be bothered to run to pick up his own lunch.”
“You know you’re not going to get this part of your life back, right?” – horsendogguy
“NTA. A partnership is meant to be just that. You’re not his sponsor.”
“I think the lack of motivation, sleeping all day and unable to complete basic tasks does scream depression to me. I obviously can’t be sure, but that is how it manifests for a lot of people.”
“I would try to have a conversation with him about this though, outside of an argument. Tell him you are becoming resentful of the money borrowing and that you don’t want to feel like this in the relationship.”
“Say you feel that the unemployment is not benefitting him and perhaps he needs the structure of work. Maybe approach how he is feeling and whether he feels he needs any support with that” – Laurajenn
“I think I agree. I’m thinking a long serious talk, and then if nothing changes I need to move on.” – Trick_Water_9702 (OP)
In some of her comments, OP has made it clear she’s done dealing with her BF’s behavior. Whether that leads to them breaking up is unknown, but if he refuses to change or get help, it likely will.
It’s important to remember that while you can help someone in your relationship, it’s not your responsibility if they refuse to help themselves.
Written by Ben Acosta
Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.
Embracing the Undetectable = U
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