THE ANGST ZONE (Use this, for the love of internetz! ><)

[O h a y a r i]

FML. I hate love, i hate my life. This whole thing f*cking sucks.

ninja *cracks joke to try and feel better* Twilight sucks too ninja  

[God-Raped-Me]

Dude, you're not the only one who hates love! *hops in proverbial boat*

Rol- The gf seems like a b***h, that's totally unreasonable for her to react that way! As for stalker chick, you may have to have her reported now!  

[Kaz Likes Cookies]

I can never win. So, my friends and I are at the college application stage. It's stressful and tough and no one ever said it was easy. One of my friends is applying to Dartmouth and they require a peer evaluation (like what you ask your teachers to write, but for a friend to write). So, my friend asked me to write it for her and I agreed. I wrote it and was ready to mail it off last night, but I needed some info from her to finish the top of the form so I found her on chat and asked her for the info. She continues to demand to SEE the evaluation (defeating the point of having a peer write it) and will not give me the information until she sees it. After getting pressured and guilt tripped and pretty much abused, I finally let her see it which she tells me it's "good". It hadn't been a good night and my parents had been yelling at me so i wasn't in a good mood to begin dealing with her.

Besides demanding to see it, she flipped out that my bf had figured out where she was applying! I hadn't told him anything besides the fact that I was writing an evaluation. Didn't say who, didn't say to where. Now, she doesn't believe me that I didn't tell him because he turned around and flaunted to her that he knew.

Today, she sent me an email telling me to not send the evaluation and that she would email Dartmouth and tell them to ignore anything I sent and pretty much that she hated me and I was a jerk and all this other mean stuff. She chatted me today and was all like "if you were my friend and you wanted it to be good, you would've shown it to me and told me to make any changes I wanted." Wouldn't this completely defeat the purpose?

At this point, I'm ready to stop being her friend. I've gotten abused and treat horribly to the point where I don't care. I was doing her a favor and look what she did. I don't know whether to be pissed at my boyfriend or not or what to do...help?  

[FleshEatingZombie]

Your friend doesn't sound very nice at all! crying  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Oh dear... I hope you handle the situation successfully. Many ATG blessings upon thee.  

[Bassios]

My ectopic heartbeat is back and it's really starting to piss me off.

>__<  

[FleshEatingZombie]

Bass I remember you! Wowzers.

A gaia walk down memory lane.

I feel bad cause I'm not upset about my love life. But uhh.... I used to be! I had a nasty boyfriend for like three years. He was pretty mentality abusive, and had anger issues. Now his a** is past though. =) Don't worry something good will come to everyone! Karma is just.  

[LIRss]

Inmate has pneumonia and possibly asthma...!
What fun. I first got pneumonia back in May and it was hooorible. I was hoping that would be the end of it and I would be lucky to never get it again.... Luck I am not. I could of had pneumonia for 4-5 starting in september that was finally diagnosed about 3 weeks ago.
I got 2 x-rays in different hospital er's and they apparently showed nothing so my doctor was thinking asthma. Odd enough the puffers work on me, at least they work for about a month or less then they stop.... biggrin
I finished my pneumonia meds and my breathing improved and then it slowly went down hill after a week.
So now I have to wait till monday to see my doctor and see if they think it's asthma and start me on steriods or more meds for my pneumonia...

I wonder if I'll ever get better... It's been what 5-6 months? since I've been able to breath normal... neutral
I just want to get better because it seems like I need to find a new job. Working at McDicks like this is damn hard.  

[everlane]

Single but it never actually bothers me. At this point in life I'm just trying to move forward and not get in the whole mess of situations that come with relationships. And it gets consuming and tiring when it starts to not work out neutral Someone might come along to change this attitude but not wasting the time to go searching stare  

[Roland Karloseth]

I CANNOT ******** BELIEVE THIS!

So, it's 3:05 here right now, and I've been in bed for a while, playing my DS and waiting to fall asleep. When I do that, I generally like to completely cover up in a blanket, head and all. Well this time, I noticed something scratching at my face. When I looked to see what it was, I am utterly shocked. It's dried dog s**t from my ex-girlfriends god damn football dogs.

I'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH THAT GOD-DAMN BLANKET FOR A MONTH WITH DRIED s**t ON IT NOW.

I am now going to go and scrub the s**t outta my face, then try to go to sleep again.  

[God-Raped-Me]

Rol..... ew. I feel for you! What a nasty thing to notice as you're trying to fall asleep.  

[Roland Karloseth]

So... my ex just contacted me on Gaia. Though I am angry right now, I am hoping that this is the end of this bullshit. Posting the conversation here so you know whats going on and can see that I'm not being unreasonable.

ex-girlfriend

I Am sorry for ruining your live for all those months and i will never bother you again i was wrong to do that to you and your family Good bye..

Roland

I'm not playing these games with you. You want a pity party, don't invite me. I won't participate.

I've been over it, and you bring it back up.

ex-girlfriend

no im gone saying my farewells and leaving it at that no pity partys i dont want it this is the last you'll ever hear from me

Roland

You didn't need to say farewells, you did that by having your grandmother threaten to have a restriction order put on me. You ALL walked all over me, I gave everything I could because I was grateful for you letting me stay there. And you repay me by treating me like s**t, an outsider.

The funny thing is, right after we broke up, I actually thought it was my fault. The really scary thing is, suicide crossed my mind a couple times, though they were brief and I quickly pushed them away. I was damn near too depressed to function.

I'm not telling you this so you will feel sorry for me, I don't need that. I am telling you this because I feel you need to know. We never talked about what happened, and I was fine with that. But now, you've decided you want to talk. So now, I'm talking. I don't even care if you reply to this or not, at least I'm getting it off my chest.

Makes me wonder if she contacted me just to ******** with my brain...  

[God-Raped-Me]

The great thing about that.... you don't need to respond! Maybe she did want to ******** with you, but you can ignore her!

I believe I have ******** my life over and now I'm trying to figure s**t out... s**t that I shouldn't have to try and figure out.

I've become someone I don't like and I need to change!  

[Chexley]

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
There they are a'standing in a row!

It certainly is amazing how many times I pull the wool over my eyes and refuse to see what's in front of me. I think, when I'm in a time of emotional strife or I just need someone to talk to, someone will come to my aid and help me out.

I thought wrong.

Last night, I had never felt such a deep, saddening disappointment due to not going to a party that I assumed I didn't want to have anything to do with. I've been told that first, comes denial, second comes anger and third comes acceptance. It was certainly jumbled with me: I accepted the fact that I couldn't do first, then became angry. Today, I tried tricking myself into thinking up all the usual, stereotypical bad scenarios that can happen at a party.

As I sat in my room, crying, I really wished someone would have called me up and asked me if I could talk. I really wanted someone to listen to me, to take me in their arms and tell me that everything was going to be alright.

My mother wasn't any help. She said she couldn't think of a way to make me feel better or to help me understand what I was going through.

I'm certainly frustrated with things because I feel like I'm being left behind again, that everyone's moving on without me and none of them are looking back to see if I'm still with them. I mentioned once in the Phunkeh that I felt like I had just caught before the crowd's on the move again.

*Sighs.* Overall, things have been very depressing to me.

"Give them a twist, a flick of the wrist!"
That's what the showman said!

 

[YukiOfTheMightnightHour]

*hugs Chex* heart
I know this isn’t a hug you can actually physically feel but know that it is genuine. I have an understanding of when you say that you feel left behind, its almost like feeling abandoned, but that is not true. And depending on where you are right now in life and what direction you are taking, even if it is undecided, that is a factor on whether or not you are ahead, right in there with the rest, or somewhat behind. I too felt left behind and also that I didn't really have anyone to talk to that would remember to keep coming back around to make sure that I was still ok and not to just leave me to my own devices.
I believed the best way to get through that tough time was to remember that part of it is kind of like a trial, or a right of passage, the first steps to becoming your own person that did not need to depend on others all the time. And to remember that it will not last, everything changes, and whether or not that change is positive or negative mostly depends on how you choose to perceive it and what you choose to do next.