Youre in the hospital because...

[sun god leto]

the syrup had poision in it.

i'm "sleeping" with my bf [[yes i'm bi, got a problem with it? stare ]]  

[Colorful Shadows]

Youre boyfriend isn't gay or bi so he tries to kill you.

Im jamming to Katy Perry.  

[THISisNOTmyACTUALname]

You trip over a loose toe-sock and hit your head on your computer.

I'm taking care of my baby brother.

-T.I.N.M.A.N.  

[Wurlee]

That is your brother but he isn't a baby, he's a senile midget who whacks in the head with a pizza cutter.

I'm playing DDR.

 

[BadBadRomance]

i was grilling steak then i have realized that i wasn't able to rub my steak with pepper, i run to my kitchen then i slipped but i was able to grab a pole so im fine, then as i go back out, i put some pepper on my hand and started to put it on my steak but then a cat jumped on a table i am so shocked so the pepper on my has scattered all over me, i felt something HAHAHACHOOOO!! i sneeze and slammed my face on the griller.  

[THISisNOTmyACTUALname]

Karma comes back to you for not answering the post above you. Nothing good happens.

I'm chatting with a friend on Facebook.  

[Wurlee]

The person you are chatting with is not your friend, the person is actually a cryptid from New Jersey named Grinman, he is a 7 foot tall green-skinned man who hides behind your fence. Oddly, a chicken burst into your room and bites your ears off.

I just screamed "OH JEEZUS" 'cause my sister's friend was lurking behind me and scared me when I turned around.

 

[THISisNOTmyACTUALname]

Jesus shows up and shouts "Oh my God!" because your sister's friend ended up right behind him, God shows up, and his pressense nearly kills you.

My uncle's downloading some computer game.  

[Wurlee]

But instead of downloading the game your uncle downloaded a freakystuff file, a page pops up and it shows a picture of a man. Your uncle clicks the picture twice, the your computer blows up. (Sorry, been reading too much creepypastas...)

I'm listening to Vocarock.

 

[THISisNOTmyACTUALname]

The music strikes a particular note that causes an anurism in your brain.

I'm watching Wall-E.  

[Wurlee]

And then A SKELETON POPS OUT. You have a heart attack.

I'm snatchin' yo people up.

 

[THISisNOTmyACTUALname]

Some of my people are hamsters. An angry midget in a spikey steel-toed boot kicks you in the shin.

I didn't sleep last night.  

[travelguy123]

The sandman will haunt you


I'm tying my shoes  

[its_a_new_day]

Someone pushed you and you split your head

Im wearing an ankle brace.  

[Wurlee]

Then the ankle brace catches on fire because a midget ran around spraying gasoline all, then another comes around lighting your brace on fire.

I'm CONFUSED.