|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Prussian Imperial Guard Crew
|
 Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:18 pm
I bet that it was a contributing factor in why it took so long.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:40 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:39 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:10 pm
Quote: I saw a picture once. It had several windows depicting life from a soldier's perspective. The first box had a basic GI grunt in a foxhole in the rain saying "This sucks." The second had a Ranger moving through the rain with his weapon up saying, "I like the way this sucks." The third had a Seal eating a snake saying, "I wish this would suck more." The fourth had a pilot in a jet looking down saying, "Sure sucks down there." The final box had an airforce guy behind a desk in a building with the rain pouring down outside saying, "The Internet is down! This sucks!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:26 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:46 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:19 pm
1. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.
2. Air Force, O-6 and above: "Get that damned snake off the fairway!"
3. Chaplain. Tries to get snake to attend services, mend its ways.
4. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
5. Marines, Security: Kills snake, but looses bayonet in the fight. Gunny has Marine stand at attention, holding empty bayonet scabbard and snake carcass for four hours.
6. Marines, ForceRecon: Eats snake.
7. Marines, Gunny: Knows a few stories about people messing with snakes when they shouldn't. And they all died.
8. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.
9. Military Police, Field: Snake safely infiltrates rear area of operations.
10. Navy SeaBees: Build snake elaborate rec room, complete with secret still.
11. Navy, SEAL: Expends all ammunition and several grenades, then calls for naval gunfire in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites the SEAL, and dies of salt water poisoning. Hollywood makes film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.
12. Navy Officer: Orders Chief to kill snake, and complete all snake paperwork.
13. Navy Chief: Tells 1st class to kill snake, and clean up this place.
14. Navy 1st Class: Has 2nd class kill snake, rest of division clean up 'the big stuff' then take off
15. Navy 2nd Class: 70% chance he kills the snake (80% chance with something other than approved snake-killing equipment), 30% chance he decides it would be Really Neat to put the damned thing in a bilge and call it a Pet.
16. Navy 3rd Class: Finds snake in the bilge, plays with it RIGHT up until the Executive Officer walks up.
17. Navy Ensign: Volunteers to take care of the snake for the XO, confuses snake procedure with recipe for decaf coffee.
18. Navy Corpsman: Treats Ensign for snakebite and Snake for irritability by dispensing a handful of Motrin to both.
19. Para-Rescue: Lands on snake upon descending, thereby injuring it, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
20. Pilot, Air Force, B-52: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.
21. Pilot, Air Force, Fighter, Generic: Mis-identifies the snake as a HIND and engages it with missiles. Crew Chief paints snake on airplane.
22. Special Forces: Trains it to kill other snakes.
23. War Correspondent. Decides snake is patriotic nationalist agrarian reformer being molested by imperialist U.S. forces, asks snake for directions to nearest bar. If bitten by snake, charges U.S. troops with neglect of duty to protect freedom of the press.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:25 pm
The CIA needed to fill an opening for an overseas coordinator of covert operations. They wanted someone absolutely ruthless and loyal, willing and able to follow any order.
Finally, they whittled it down to 3 candidates. Each was brought to the Director's office one at a time. When the first one walked in, the Director said: 'John, I think you're one of the best candidates for this job. I just want you to do one thing to prove it to everyone. Take this pistol, go in the room next door, and shoot the person in there.'
John takes the gun, opens the door, shouts 'Are you CRAZY? That's my WIFE!' Tosses the gun to the Director, takes his wife and storms out.
Second agent, same instructions, pauses briefly when he opens the door, steels himself and goes in. Director listens to the silence beyond the door for a minute, then the agent comes back, with his wife, puts the gun on the desk and leaves, shaking his head.
Third agent enters the room, pulls the door shut behind him. Director hears a few shots fired, and gets up from his desk. Then there is a horrendous noise of screaming and thuds. He runs to the door, yanks it open just as the third agent comes back. 'Some idiot put blanks in the gun, but I managed to beater her to death with the chair.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:38 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:52 pm
Suicidesoldier#1 1. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake. 2. Air Force, O-6 and above: "Get that damned snake off the fairway!" 3. Chaplain. Tries to get snake to attend services, mend its ways. 4. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area. 5. Marines, Security: Kills snake, but looses bayonet in the fight. Gunny has Marine stand at attention, holding empty bayonet scabbard and snake carcass for four hours. 6. Marines, ForceRecon: Eats snake. 7. Marines, Gunny: Knows a few stories about people messing with snakes when they shouldn't. And they all died. 8. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it. 9. Military Police, Field: Snake safely infiltrates rear area of operations. 10. Navy SeaBees: Build snake elaborate rec room, complete with secret still. 11. Navy, SEAL: Expends all ammunition and several grenades, then calls for naval gunfire in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites the SEAL, and dies of salt water poisoning. Hollywood makes film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes. 12. Navy Officer: Orders Chief to kill snake, and complete all snake paperwork. 13. Navy Chief: Tells 1st class to kill snake, and clean up this place. 14. Navy 1st Class: Has 2nd class kill snake, rest of division clean up 'the big stuff' then take off 15. Navy 2nd Class: 70% chance he kills the snake (80% chance with something other than approved snake-killing equipment), 30% chance he decides it would be Really Neat to put the damned thing in a bilge and call it a Pet. 16. Navy 3rd Class: Finds snake in the bilge, plays with it RIGHT up until the Executive Officer walks up. 17. Navy Ensign: Volunteers to take care of the snake for the XO, confuses snake procedure with recipe for decaf coffee. 18. Navy Corpsman: Treats Ensign for snakebite and Snake for irritability by dispensing a handful of Motrin to both. 19. Para-Rescue: Lands on snake upon descending, thereby injuring it, then feverishly works to save the snake's life. 20. Pilot, Air Force, B-52: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target. 21. Pilot, Air Force, Fighter, Generic: Mis-identifies the snake as a HIND and engages it with missiles. Crew Chief paints snake on airplane. 22. Special Forces: Trains it to kill other snakes. 23. War Correspondent. Decides snake is patriotic nationalist agrarian reformer being molested by imperialist U.S. forces, asks snake for directions to nearest bar. If bitten by snake, charges U.S. troops with neglect of duty to protect freedom of the press. I ROFLMAO at this. this merits the use of the word "ridonculous" so does Quote: I saw a picture once. It had several windows depicting life from a soldier's perspective. The first box had a basic GI grunt in a foxhole in the rain saying "This sucks." The second had a Ranger moving through the rain with his weapon up saying, "I like the way this sucks." The third had a Seal eating a snake saying, "I wish this would suck more." The fourth had a pilot in a jet looking down saying, "Sure sucks down there." The final box had an airforce guy behind a desk in a building with the rain pouring down outside saying, "The Internet is down! This sucks!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:59 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:05 pm
Suicidesoldier#1 The CIA needed to fill an opening for an overseas coordinator of covert operations. They wanted someone absolutely ruthless and loyal, willing and able to follow any order. Finally, they whittled it down to 3 candidates. Each was brought to the Director's office one at a time. When the first one walked in, the Director said: 'John, I think you're one of the best candidates for this job. I just want you to do one thing to prove it to everyone. Take this pistol, go in the room next door, and shoot the person in there.' John takes the gun, opens the door, shouts 'Are you CRAZY? That's my WIFE!' Tosses the gun to the Director, takes his wife and storms out. Second agent, same instructions, pauses briefly when he opens the door, steels himself and goes in. Director listens to the silence beyond the door for a minute, then the agent comes back, with his wife, puts the gun on the desk and leaves, shaking his head. Third agent enters the room, pulls the door shut behind him. Director hears a few shots fired, and gets up from his desk. Then there is a horrendous noise of screaming and thuds. He runs to the door, yanks it open just as the third agent comes back. 'Some idiot put blanks in the gun, but I managed to beater her to death with the chair.' heard that one before
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:18 pm
The US was tasked with developing the long range AIM 120 AMRAAM. The British were tasked with the short range AIM 135 ASRAAM.
I find that fitting.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:18 pm
lol! Some of these are hilarious! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:08 pm
GrayFox436 The US was tasked with developing the long range AIM 120 AMRAAM. The British were tasked with the short range AIM 135 ASRAAM. I find that fitting. Your gonna have to explain that one to me... sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
