Welcome to Gaia! ::

"Hey... I didn't do it on purpose... okay!" growls Tam testily gulping down the water. "And she is clean now... thank heaven. Just tell that mate of mine to use her scruff the next time... not to scoop her up by her belly... where the heck is he, anyway?"

He appears to be talking to Amestru in the cave next door.

Surprisingly, not very much. Amestru is sitting on the edge of Keveka's bed, keeping a close eye on him, while he talks to Bezernia about the fine art of parenting cubs. Bez is curled up in an easy chair that seems to have been grown from the floor of the cave... no doubt some of Ame's crafting as Bez's talents seem to lean in a completely opposite direction.

"So what's this thing with the skin of the neck. I mean Mara was wailing her eyes out and Ai came in and picked her up by the back of the neck and she stopped instantly." Bez is saying grumpily.

Amestru chuckles. "Is is obvious that your panther form isn't a true form, though you wear it like a second skin. It is an instinctive form of chastising the cub... of establishing dominance. In the wild a parent might need to move the cub several times and it is hard to move one squirming youngling, much less two or three or perhaps even more. It actually releases endorphins into the cat's system, which is very calming to the cub. Though in truth, it is normally the mother that uses the technique... In the wild fathers are rarely around and in some cases might even kill the cubs, if he finds them. Basically it calms the cub down as well as keeps them that way for several crucial minutes. Moving a couple of loud rambunctious cubs would defeat the point, as their noise would show the threat exactly where they are and where they are going. No one here is going to harm your cubs, but the result is instinctive. Danger or no. Carrying them as such will calm them down. Do ye understand it now?"

He turns to Kero and smiles. "And that effect is something which can be used on older cats as well... providing ye can get a grip on their necks before they eviscerate ye. Right, Kero?"

Bex sighs heavily. "So ye say it was what Ai did, not what he is... it wasn't because he's their mother... but because he knew how to quiet the cub in the first place. " he shakes his head and grimaces. "He's had far more experience in raising young things than I have had... that for certain."

Amestru nods cautiously. "You could say that. He did raise a certain cat we both know... though I don't believe he did that entirely by the book. He seems to have created a few parenting techniques that I would call questionable at best. He's not going to be able to rely on a certain hidden inner intelligence with these too. So in many ways, ye are both newbies at this, just don't let it get you down if ye make a mistake. Remember... always own up to a mistake if ye make one. Even iffin ye think they are too young to comprehend what yer saying, they understand yer actions. And most of all... never punish in blind anger. If ye feel a rage coming on, send them to their room and go for a walk. Cool off first."

Amestru nods as well. "Just remember this. Words said in anger cannot be taken back. And angry actions speak louder than words. I do not say ye should never get angry in front of yer children, Bez... but show them that although ye are angry, perhaps even angry enough to bite a nail in two, ye can control that passion and work rationally. In other words let the passion work with ye... not against ye. If a child never sees a parent angry, they do not learn to control themselves... Many of life's lessons are taught not through word but example."

Bez sighs. "You may think you control yer emotions, mage... but in truth yer like a book... and such an easy read at that... but then mayhaps this is what Amestru means. The emotions are there... we can see them... but rarely do ye let them control ye."

Ame laughs ruefully. "Ah... but ye see, Kero is the extreme example of what ye probably should not do. He has this control, hard won at that... and he uses it without thinking. But the emotions are still there... and when they do force their way out, all hell breaks loose. No man... or woman for that matter... should try to suppress all emotion. Our psyche is not made for this. So if ye are angry... allow that anger a way of coming forth... away from those it can harm... go chop some wood, pound yer fist into a tree.. that sort of thing."