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.....you are in a situation where you can see everything happening, like an outside viewer of a game of chess (knowing what's going on from both sides), and you just want to do something about it, but you can't?

I know it's kind of a weird analogy, but I guess I'm in that situation.

(WARNING: This is me venting, comment if you wish, but the main purpose was to vent)

I've noticed things go south between me and my friends. If I can even call them that anymore. Things were going south to begin with, but they got worse. My pregnant friend had her baby and all on the 28th of last month and her brother is still acting horribly towards us. Originally, I was going to let the friendship fade, and still have, but at the same time I want to take some action now after waiting a month or two for something to happen. TIRED OF WAITING! UGH!
EVERY SINGLE TIME I go onto Facebook, the moment I'm on, she will log out. And it's not like a mobile device, it says "web" beside it. They have good connection. Then, I will wait and be on and she will come back on for a second then log right back off. You'd think at first it was a coincidence or maybe the baby thing. NO! This has happened since her baby shower or even before it a little, and it's like, what the cheese!? WHAT THE CHEESE MAN!?!?!? And this happens throughout the day daily. I'm on facebook a lot more than her and I find it crazy. I know a newborn can do things randomly, but even before the baby was born she was doing this when she had nothing to do!
Now, another friend hasn't talked to me in a couple weeks! Mutual friend between the pregnant friend and I. She and I had like a 60 second conversation once or twice but nothing else! Last time I saw her, she practically ignored me and only talked to my pregnant friend (right before pregnant friend had her baby, a week before to be exact), but it's been like that since! I even notice they talk more now and I'm like, DO THEY KNOW SOMETHING THEY CAN'T SAY TO MY FACE!?!? I haven't done anything to upset the girl, she just up and stopped talking and it is crazy! I'd confront her on it, but I don't want to cause a scene over nothing because I want to have benefit of the doubt that this friend is busy, unlike the pregnant friend.
Also, the brother of the pregnant friend, first to act up, has gotten worse. More demanding and less friendly. He's even stalking his ex's profile on meetme every week, wouldn't give the reasons why, and he's been doing this for months. He treated me horribly when I politely spoke up for his ex since his ex is my best friend just saying, "You should message her or stop stalking her profile. It's really bumming her out." that was the message his ex wanted me to relay to him. She confronted him yesterday finally and he finally blocked her.

Anyways, the reason for the rant is, IDK WHAT TO DO! I feel like I needed to vent. Because, I want this stress gone before I move in several months. I want to leave knowing my friendships are solid or if they are unfixable I need to get rid of them now before I leave so I'm not stressed.

It's SO unfair! Why can't people say something to your face!? WHY HIDE IT!? If they are really your friends and they go behind your back, those aren't friends! I'd up and block the mutual friend, but after doing so she was the one who initiated being friends again so I know its here to stay. The other with the pregnant girl and her brother I just find it better to fade. But at the same time, I argue with myself:

"DELETE THEM! BLOCK THEM! They are NOT worth it! You know better than that! If they treat you horribly, you shouldn't put up with it! Say it how it is! PREACH IT! Stand up for yourself and rip it off like a bandaid!" says my better judgment and common sense.

"Now now, let's be patient. It's better to be silent and sensible than create more rifts and drama. This could be a big misunderstanding. You don't want to stress yourself and get chronically ill do you? Let's avoid confrontation until absolutely necessary dear!" says my empathy.

"Logic, you make more sense. Empathy, you mean so well. But both of you, I don't know who is right in this case!" says me.

Crazy right? Both sides are equally right and have good points! I'm stuck in the middle.
I just want to focus on school and my loved ones. No drama/stress from people who don't give 2 cents about me or wonder if they even do!

If you read this, I am amazed. Thank you! If anything, maybe I have entertained you today by giving you something else to read on.

EDIT:
One more thing I'd like to add to this, I have an ex friend I can't stop thinking about that's been my friend for 5 years that I cut from my life peacefully. I have no clue why I think about him! I have only looked at his profile once, no more than twice since November and told myself as of December 31st I would leave him in 2013 and not think about him, not letting him effect me, and not ever look at his profile again so I can move on from the friendship. Yet, I can't stop thinking about him! He was cold natured by the end of our friendship and working as a tech for the state mental hospital really screwed up his mind. I even warned him it would and he admitted the last time I ever heard from him that his work had made him grow cold-natured. When I have feelings, they are generally right. But, it's crazy! I try distracting myself, but for the next couple days, until I can get my study packet in the mail for my placement test I will take in a couple months, I don't know how to distract myself! Not much to do in this winter ridden area. Minor cleaning, is temporary, no pets, tv gets boring quite easily, music only reminds me of friend, going out isn't an option in this weather, and that's about it other than being online which it doesn't help. I'd draw or write but I get a block when I hold a pencil with lack of inspiration. I'd knit, but that's only temporary because I grow tired of it after 10-15 rows usually. So, finding more distractions is a priority until I can study. I'd exercise, but I have an epigastric hernia and things like cardio hurt it, yoga is iffy, and lifting weights I have to be extremely careful. Walking long distances makes the pain grow worse. I do hernia stretches though now so I can reverse it so I hopefully won't need surgery. And, no books. Wasn't the book worm. No anime/manga is here at this place and it reminds me of that friend to begin with at the moment, especially the new sword art online season 2 upcoming. Ugh........
Yea......need to find SOMETHING to distract me. Need to solve these friendship issues too!

I knew the friends in real life. We were actually really close. It's just since the whole third wheeling thing it's been awful. For the mutual friend who reinitiated contact, to suddenly drop her (she's going through a bad stage in life, her mom has cancer for the 4th time, family members died, she withdrew from college to get a job to help her single mother pay for her chemo and such but no job luck, her brother moved out and she has to babysit the youngest, her sister) that's at least where my empathy kicks in. To leave her in the dust due to possible miscommunication, but even then she is avoiding me so it really isn't worth it at the same time. I'm just not used to being cruel to others by standing up for myself. It hurts though with the way they are all acting. The pregnant one just had the baby and her boyfriend/baby daddy has alpha (or alfa?) and other health issues. The brother is on disability but since his breakup with his ex he has just acted so horrible toward us even after multiple times telling him while in the relationship, on the verge of the breakup, and after the breakup, that no matter what we would still be friends with his ex the same way we are friends with him. And he said he was okay with it. Either way, he only keeps texting my fiance asking for the old xbox he GAVE for free to my fiance to have just so he can play it instead of saving up for ps3 and xbox one like he planned on with his check he got. We have no clue why he's did it, but now he wants the plates back to it which really he doesn't need, but he only wanted the xbox back AFTER he sold all his games. But, since then, nothing. His grandmother who they live with, sent me a friend suggestion to add his new facebook. He's been on multiple times since, but he deleted my request I sent him, so I KNOW something is up with the brother at least. Something petty i'm sure. I used to think the brother was so awesome and nice, but he really did a 360 and I don't even care if his friendship is lost. But, with the pregnant sister and the mutual friend, it's pretty rough since they are both as sensitive as I am and I see them more often out and about. (not often, but a few times a month we run into them both randomly at walmart).


For the former friend of 5 years, we met on here. He lived in the middle of the US and I lived on the east coast. He had lied multiple times over the years but I always forgave him because they were white lies or I saw the lie and waited for him to tell the truth and he would. Give a chance to redeem himself. We had SO much in common and used to text each other constantly for a few years. Then, when he graduated highschool about 2 years ago, things went rough. Contact dropped dramatically. His demeanor changed too. The exact people he said he hated, he would hang out with. YOLO partiers/swaggers. His creativity was depleting rapidly. It all that I had known, had just died in him. His parents had divorced in the first couple years I had known him, before he changed, and when that happened he was fine with that and went to live with his dad since his mom didn't care about him after a while. Then, he was jobhunting. He had talked about going to school to be a director/producer in cinema. It was his dream. But, that died too. Even at one point as a second option was opening up a mini mall for cosplay shops, videogame shops, movie shops, sword shops, and more. Like a flea market in a way. But, even that died. And, he went to work in the state mental hospital of his state. I had warned him before he had joined how hard it was being a tech, and the stories i've heard from my psychology teachers who had to go and intern at the worst places in my state and how they said to avoid it. Even told him about my parents seeing my mother's mother in one and how the environment was. He brushed it off, but I had a bad feeling and knew he'd learn the hard way. He did. Over time he would barely text or talk. He became distant for days, then weeks, then MONTHS at a time. Last year, earlier on, one time i didn't hear from him for 2 months. Then, he randomly texted me right after I got over the lost friendship, that same day. I asked why he did that. He said he stopped talking to me because he liked a girl who he found out got pregnant and didn't like her back, and it reminded him of how I lost my virginity to my fiance. (he can't stand being friends with people who lost their virginity unless they are married or he's known them his whole life) and then once again we talked for a couple months, once or twice a week, then a couple weeks apart, then nothing again. I texted him asking what was wrong, no reply. Once again tried getting over him and succeeded again! But, he texted me randomly saying he was "bawling his eyes out after watching the finale of season one of Sword Art Online" and that the main characters reminded him of the rpging i helped him with in his stories he was writing in the past. I called him out on that. That was pathetic. Only contacting me over an anime finale memory? No other reason? So I asked him again if that was his only reason and he mentioned the whole v-card thing still got to him, but he was more over it now. So, I was like, FINE, one more shot. Yet, things continued and finally I heard nothing out of him for a few months so finally I get the nerve to text him asking why he was being so distant and cold natured and he said it was his job that made him that way. Then in November I grew tired of it and sent him a LONG message to both his rpg account and real account and deleted him (not blocked), and haven't heard anything since. I checked his account those one to two times after and he had been on since so I know he got the messages. I just couldn't take his cold natured self anymore and wrote him that and nothing. The memories I have, yes, they are of the good that come back, but I want to move on. I don't want those memories to haunt me knowing yet again more friends that said they would always have my back, yet another betrays me. (I lost a lot of friends in 2012 due to betrayal). Then now 2013 I lost that friend and then these friendship issues started towards the middle with the third wheel friends. Now in 2014 dealing with these so called friends. But, Idk, I really don't think I miss him. Initially, it was easy to get over the friend those 3 times and I know the process I went through did'nt change any of those times, until now. It's like I can't get over that friend and this time it's different. No clue why. I just have an apathy towards that now exfriend. Yet, unable to get over him.

For the former friend, I am going to try to leave him in the past. It's one less thing to deal with and less stress to put myself through since I gave the ultimatum and it's been honored so far.
For the mutual friend going through a hard time, I was going to try waiting and if not maybe it would fade, but my impatient self says confront, yet I really don't have much to go on other than the sign in times and lack of communication. If it continues through the weekend I will confront her on the weekend since she said her weekends are more free. It might be just letting it fade.
For the pregnant friend with the horrible brother, idk how that will go right off. For the brother it's pretty much a "screw you" thing I don't mind about. The pregnant girl is healing though and since it's my first time dealing with a pregnant friend, i may have to be gently and let it fade or confront her gently next time i see her, if I do. Idk how she will react, but i'm sure stress won't help make her feel any better or help her heal faster for sure.
Yet, I'm impatient. I just have to see how it plays out and hopefully keep distracted on studying from a couple days from now until I'm moved IF I choose letting it fade. If I do not, then I will confront them next time we see them. Hopefully, that will be shortly.

Mainly Math, maybe some English for placement tests. Haven't been in college for 3 years and the furthest math I have ever taken is Algebra 2. So, I have to self teach pre-cal/calculus. I had a rough past 3 years and the first year I from fall 2010-spring 2011 I failed my first year at a community college that didn't care about anyone and my teachers screwed me over otherwise I wouldn't have even attended spring 2011. Then beginning of summer 2011 got my CNA license and worked for 10 months until June 2012 where I was forced to resign. They had already dropped hints for months and docked my pay down to $100 every 2 weeks when I was making long hours per week. Then I got into a car wreck and my insurance was messed up due to the woman who hit me, her company would'nt help me or do anything for 6 months until my parents got involved and straightened it out, even forced my fiance and I to postpone our September wedding. During that time from the car wreck on I lost 5-7 friends by the end of the year. 2013 was all about self discovery. I constantly would sign up for jobs or try signing up for school. I started with a different community college further away to sign up for business classes. They kept losing my information and the system kept messing up to where I had to cancel my classes and I gave up due to the stress. That was the time the brother and his ex were together with us on a beach trip that was nothing but one horrible thing after another, and the last week they were together as well. I even cried to my fiance and he suggested I drop out of it and get a job for now. Went job searching again with no luck. Ended up end of august through September getting heavy depression and suicidal thoughts, confiding in my sister and family for help and they tried. It was nothing like i'd ever felt. Then, it ended when I was on facebook and saw this picture of a model with wild colored hair and gorgeous makeup. It was like art! I loved it and decided to go into cosmotology. The pregnant friend got jealous and ruined it for me with her opinions and I was made at her until November when my anger subsided, but when she gave her opinions my suicidal thoughts came back and I felt lost. I began job searching again. No luck. Then, my parents forced me to decide a career, I decided to go with dietician because I love learning about healthy ways and food. But, something didn't feel right and it lost it's sheen just after a couple weeks, so secretly I started jobhunting yet again around December. Then, the 28th, the day pregnant friend's child was born, was the day I got the opportunity of a lifetime. To go live with my sister and her husband, 3.5-4 hrs away and go to community college there doing work/study and meeting master artisans and be able to network in the summer, then go to university there in the fall and do work/study and meet more artisans and network and pursue the art field, which is something I've always wanted to do since I was little, but my parents said there was nothing for me in the career, but I found a way to make a lot of money with it so I am overjoyed. I "may" minor in teaching and major in art, or I may major in art and minor in something else, but idk yet. I'm excited. It's been a long 3 years, but finally knowing everything is working out is really making me excited and it feels right too! I have all spring and the rest of winter to prepare so I have to do the placement tests, do a couple odds and ends, sign up for classes, pack up things, then move at the end of spring/early summer before classes start. My family, fiance, and my best friend (the brother's ex) are all supportive of me as well as a couple other people. Not once has the mutual friend or the pregnant friend's family said A WORD to me about it, which I'm thankful for or I'd give them a mouthful. I learned my lesson on that. Lol.