I really should be thankful. And I believe I truly am. I'm grateful to have my Mother's side of the family and my Father's side of the family in my life. However, this season both sides are making it nearly impossible for me to be the "pitch perfect" daughter that they've expected from me.

Dad lives in NC. I'm in FL. Mom is in CA, and my grandparents are with me as well. Everyone is kind of in this circle, so I just travel through this circle. However, here is the fun part.

1) I'm moving out at the end of the December.
2) Did I mention that I'm moving out at the end of December?

I didn't really think this holiday through. First off, it's expensive. I am going to be gut-broke after all of this between traveling and whatnot.

My best friend's baby is due on Dec. 18. I'm the baby's godmother and she wanted me to be in the delivery room with her. December 22 I'm flying out to see Dad. We normally stay around the 50+ family members up there for three or four days (there are a LOT of faces that I still don't have names to, or any idea how we're all in relation), so I'll probably fly back on the 27th or 28th... THEN I have to fly from there to RI to see a few of my Aunts for a brief stay for two days, then fly out to Cali 'til new years and then fly back to FL to my new place.

MEANING, I have to be moved out of my place before even my friend's baby comes. I'm packing crazily, all while trying to keep all of the gifts out, and the clothes I'm going to need for traveling, and the various other things I've promised to bring along my trip. I have like, NO money left from shopping, deposits on my new place, ect (I have money stashed away, but that's for a cushion for my new place).

I kind of just want to ask my Dad for money, but I also don't want him to think I'm just mooching off of him. But in all seriousness -- he's one to put the money into very elaborate gifts that I really don't use. (ie. my tablet last year, and a new phone (which I'm thankful for, but I don't even use half of the functions on it)).

I literally have to make about $300 last over a span of two weeks for me traveling. Which, I think I can do because most of the time family members help out with food and whatnot -- but there are always four hour delays, and I always seem to be starving once I get to the airport and through security.

Also, I am a HORRIBLE traveler. First, I have three large bags that I barely can carry on my own. I normally have someone help me between getting in taxis and getting to my Dad because these things are crazy. I have extreme anxiety. I know that if I miss my flight, I can fix it and it'll be fine eventually, but I just have breakdowns at the thought of it. Plus, the emotional stress of seeing family that I haven't seen in a whole year. It's really frustrating and flustering and something that I just can't tolerate after a while.


UGH.
Just thinking about all of this gets me worked up. I don't even know what I'm going to do.

Nevermind with the relief of coming home from travels, I'll have to unpack EVERYTHING before I can even get comfortable in the new place. I'll have to store my boxes at my grandparent's and all of my furniture there, too for the couple weeks I'm away and then move it ALL back to the new place and hopefully it goes smoothly and I don't pass out from exhaustion. XD

The holidays are supposed to be focused around joy and time with family... not all of this little stuff... :/