Kinda need help.. (CLOSED)

[BabyCai]

So, I'm into this California girl... And I'm Canadian.. We met on WoW, and I'm in love with her. And she says she loves me too, and if I had the money to bring her here, she'd come. But, she's bisexual and has a boyfriend... And two days ago (Sunday) I found out she was cheating on her boyfriend with another man.. I told her she had to tell her boyfriend or I was through... So, she broke it off with guy two and told her boyfriend, but now she's pissed at me, hardly talking to me and I'm pretty sure I've fcked my chances.. In your opinion, what should I do?



P.S. If you answer the poll, please leave a comment. <_<;]

I've got all the responses I need. Thanks guys.  

[32 Flavours]

I hate to be so negative, but I wouldn't bother. It doesn't seem worth it. >.> There's already a bit of drama there with the whole guy one/guy two thing.

But if she did break it off with both these guys, then maybe she just needs some time to cool down before she's ready to talk about it and come to you.  

[Nion Kokesu]

I would say end it. If she really loves you then I don't see why she would have stayed with her boyfriend to begin with (and cheated on him with a third person) unless she's polyamorous (which is fine, by the way), and I definitely don't see why she would now be mad at you.

If she did honestly end it with both of them then I still don't see why she would be mad at you. If she's not willing to communicate with you, though, then things can't get very far anyhow.  

[breeze0910]

I've had a girl like that. And from experience i'd say drop it before you fall anymore for her. Some people have certain things you can't explain that make you like them so much, but in the end its not worth it if they aren't willing to go the distance for you. And its no true love in my opinion if they cheat. They shouldn't need anyone else in the world but you, and thats the girl you should look for.
But I know it will be hard for which ever decision you choose.
Good luck smile  

[BabyCai]

32 Flavours

I hate to be so negative, but I wouldn't bother. It doesn't seem worth it. >.> There's already a bit of drama there with the whole guy one/guy two thing.

But if she did break it off with both these guys, then maybe she just needs some time to cool down before she's ready to talk about it and come to you.

I understand. And I appreciate your input. smile I know there's drama, but maybe sometime - if we become friends - you can hear about the Jerry Springer show that is my love life. stare  

[BabyCai]

Nion Kokesu

I would say end it. If she really loves you then I don't see why she would have stayed with her boyfriend to begin with (and cheated on him with a third person) unless she's polyamorous (which is fine, by the way), and I definitely don't see why she would now be mad at you.

If she did honestly end it with both of them then I still don't see why she would be mad at you. If she's not willing to communicate with you, though, then things can't get very far anyhow.

Her and her boyfriend have been together for 8x as long as I've known her. She would probably leave him if I asked her to. But I do not want to go down that road again. I do believe she loves me. And she was mad at me because I had given her the ultimatum of breaking it off with guy 2 and telling guy one, or losing me. She chose the first, and kept me. The whole point of that was to know she'd come clean to me if she ever did cheat on me - and I don't think she would.  

[BabyCai]

breeze0910

I've had a girl like that. And from experience i'd say drop it before you fall anymore for her. Some people have certain things you can't explain that make you like them so much, but in the end its not worth it if they aren't willing to go the distance for you. And its no true love in my opinion if they cheat. They shouldn't need anyone else in the world but you, and thats the girl you should look for.
But I know it will be hard for which ever decision you choose.
Good luck smile

We're nearly a country apart, currently. I can't be the only person she needs. Yet. I understand that. And, we're not TECHNICALLY together, so it's not me she cheated on. I was upset for her first boyfriend. Not me.  

[32 Flavours]

BabyCai

32 Flavours

I hate to be so negative, but I wouldn't bother. It doesn't seem worth it. >.> There's already a bit of drama there with the whole guy one/guy two thing.

But if she did break it off with both these guys, then maybe she just needs some time to cool down before she's ready to talk about it and come to you.

I understand. And I appreciate your input. smile I know there's drama, but maybe sometime - if we become friends - you can hear about the Jerry Springer show that is my love life. stare

If you do end up on Jerry Springer, send me a shout out. 3nodding  

[Nion Kokesu]

BabyCai

Her and her boyfriend have been together for 8x as long as I've known her. She would probably leave him if I asked her to. But I do not want to go down that road again. I do believe she loves me. And she was mad at me because I had given her the ultimatum of breaking it off with guy 2 and telling guy one, or losing me. She chose the first, and kept me. The whole point of that was to know she'd come clean to me if she ever did cheat on me - and I don't think she would.

I see. Well in any case, I don't understand why an ultimatum of "hey, if you want to be with me then you need to be with only me" should really make a person mad unless that's not what they really want or there are some serious extenuating circumstances. In any case, it doesn't seem like she's able to be as dedicated as you.  

[CheizLord]

This girl was already cheating on her boyfriend with another guy, and then she got mad at you for making her do the right thing. People who act like that when they do something wrong have a tendency to keep cheating. I wouldn't try to get involved with her romantically. She might not even be who you think she is. Considering I just found out the girl I thought I was falling for long distance completely mind ******** me and told me she wasn't even who she said she was, I'd meet a girl in person to make sure you're not falling for who you think she is as opposed to who she really is. And make sure she's an honest person, especially if what you're going after is a real relationship because those two go together. Cause if she's cheating already who's to say she wouldn't do it to you if things changed?

Not to be the bearer of bad news or anything its just reality. I guess I sound a little cynical maybe because of what just happened to me but... either way It's not impossible and it' not like it hasn't happened before, where someone gets their hopes up, gets the girl and she tells them that with them it's different and that she would never cheat then she finds out she's doing the same thing to her that she was doing to her ex. If there was no remorse for actions and she only got defensive then i'd say it's not worth it because there's a chance you're going to get hurt. Plus she's taken, and I don't think you want to become the cheatee either if she refuses to leave him, or wait around for her because in most cases if she really loved you over him shed leave for you. Although given the time they've been together it might be harder for her that is true.

I've never been cheated on by the way, or cheated. but I've heard and seen it before. If you cheat once in your life you're most likely bound to cheat again at least once more in life. and for some people its an addiction. It's very risky to be honest to date someone with a past of cheating. Don't be like me and follow your heart, follow your gut and your intuition and be as non bias as you can about it. I know that's hard to do but sometime the facts outweigh the feeling. I hope to god that I take m own advice on that...  

[breeze0910]

BabyCai

breeze0910

I've had a girl like that. And from experience i'd say drop it before you fall anymore for her. Some people have certain things you can't explain that make you like them so much, but in the end its not worth it if they aren't willing to go the distance for you. And its no true love in my opinion if they cheat. They shouldn't need anyone else in the world but you, and thats the girl you should look for.
But I know it will be hard for which ever decision you choose.
Good luck smile

We're nearly a country apart, currently. I can't be the only person she needs. Yet. I understand that. And, we're not TECHNICALLY together, so it's not me she cheated on. I was upset for her first boyfriend. Not me.

Yeah I get that she was cheating on her current bf, which some what tells you she isn't a faithful person. I mean yes people can change but still if you actually got together she could end up cheating on you as well and it would tear you up like noo other.  

[iFawkher]

Honestly I dont think shes worth it. Im in a situation sort of close to that now but with a guy. This situation is very tricky because she is dating a guy, and she cheated on him with a guy , plus says she loves you. Hunny in my oppinion she wants attention and to feel loved, not to give love. I wouldnt continue to talk to her if i were you , she doesnt seem worth it, for one love is a word you dont throw around and for two she did cheat on her boyfriend, so alot of the time cheaters do not change. Shes basically using you, and just hurting you in the process. She just wants your attention boo, dont let her hurt you more  

[swimmer13wimmerfore]

I think you did the right thing! She isn't worth it if she cheated once before. Don't take the risk.  

[BabyCai]

Nion Kokesu

BabyCai

Her and her boyfriend have been together for 8x as long as I've known her. She would probably leave him if I asked her to. But I do not want to go down that road again. I do believe she loves me. And she was mad at me because I had given her the ultimatum of breaking it off with guy 2 and telling guy one, or losing me. She chose the first, and kept me. The whole point of that was to know she'd come clean to me if she ever did cheat on me - and I don't think she would.

I see. Well in any case, I don't understand why an ultimatum of "hey, if you want to be with me then you need to be with only me" should really make a person mad unless that's not what they really want or there are some serious extenuating circumstances. In any case, it doesn't seem like she's able to be as dedicated as you.

It wasn't "be with me and only me or lose me", it was "tell your boyfriend you're cheating on him or lose me."