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 Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 9:26 pm
be gentle with me... I want your critique on this. My girlfriend says she likes it... but she kinda has to say that, being my girlfriend and all...
Poetry
Poetry, the flowing of words onto the page,
like the flowing of blood to my heart,
keeping me alive with a steady rythm,
and bringing up feelings I never even knew could exist.
When we first spoke it was like poetry,
I clung to every word you said, carving it into my mind,
inhaling it into my soul, not wanting to let it end,
incase I woke and it was all just a lonely dream of perfection.
Back to a world where there was no poetry,
where everything was just akward rhymes that I only wanted to read for a night,
then discard like trash, tell it I'll call, and never even save the number.
But the dream never did end, and the poem still goes on,
it's been so long since I first heard you speak,
and yet I'm still hooked to your words, scared they'll stop,
and I'll awake again to that place I was before you saved me.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 8:11 pm
I'm not an expert on poetry but I liked it : 3 you managed to embark my imagination with your words, and I like the analogy you did between poetry and the heart.
As for the poetry form, I'm not sure if it works or not, the poetry I'm used to seeing are often ballads, rhyms, sonnets... I think this counts as a free verse form but I'm not sure. : ) but in any case it was nice, I liked it
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 8:15 pm
it conveyed powerful emotion.
the thing about poetry is, everybody tries to spit the truth, but you can't spit everybody's truth. so long as it's true to you, it matters. i liked it. a lot.
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