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 Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 5:37 pm
If you could be legally married with anyone you wanted and any number of partners, right now, would you do it?
Personally, I'm not sure I would even if I had a partner. The only reason I can see for getting married is for the legal benefits, but that would be quite the mess if the entire group decided to split ways. Dividing property between two people is hard enough, I can't imagine the process if there were three or four people involved.
So what about everyone else? Are you counting down the days/months/years until you can be married to those you love? Or does it make no difference to you?
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:06 pm
Devaldra If you could be legally married with anyone you wanted and any number of partners, right now, would you do it? Personally, I'm not sure I would even if I had a partner . The only reason I can see for getting married is for the legal benefits, but that would be quite the mess if the entire group decided to split ways. Dividing property between two people is hard enough, I can't imagine the process if there were three or four people involved.
So what about everyone else? Are you counting down the days/months/years until you can be married to those you love? Or does it make no difference to you?I think "legal marriage" should be 100% replaced with civil contracts that anyone can enter into.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:31 pm
I agree with you there Riri.
As to plural marriage, I believe NJ's domestic partnership act could effectively work, although imperfectly.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 7:34 am
Esiris Devaldra If you could be legally married with anyone you wanted and any number of partners, right now, would you do it? Personally, I'm not sure I would even if I had a partner . The only reason I can see for getting married is for the legal benefits, but that would be quite the mess if the entire group decided to split ways. Dividing property between two people is hard enough, I can't imagine the process if there were three or four people involved.
So what about everyone else? Are you counting down the days/months/years until you can be married to those you love? Or does it make no difference to you?I think "legal marriage" should be 100% replaced with civil contracts that anyone can enter into. That would be a better alternative to me; I don't think being married makes you love anyone any more than you did before the marriage. It's more likely opposite if anything.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:26 am
Devaldra That would be a better alternative to me; I don't think being married makes you love anyone any more than you did before the marriage. It's more likely opposite if anything. I don't think we can say what makes someone love someone else more or less- we're all different. whee I think the unity of a family has two parts- a spiritual part and a social part that includes certain contracts. The spiritual part doesn't have to be there for everyone- it'd be wrong to try and force that on someone who isn't spiritual. The contracts should be open to anyone who can consent or has permission under their guardian. I add that in because I married young.
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:26 pm
I'm married to the partner I've been with longest. Right now, I wouldn't consider that sort of bond with anyone else. It's just an issue of natural relationship progression. I've been very close to my spouse for almost seven years and only met my other two partners less than a year ago.
My spouse and his boyfriend (Geffyn and Jamie, I'll call them by name to limit confusion) have been very seriously considering some legal avenues that would replicate some of the benefits of marriage, though. Primarily, Jamie would file for a will and power of attorney with Geffyn as the recipient.
They're not at the point where they're having these papers drawn up yet, but it's probably something they'll do in the next couple years. Jamie has fairly serious health concerns, which is their major motivation to do this. He doesn't have a working relationship with his family and he doesn't want them in charge of his health care should his condition decline, nor does he want them to inherit his (fairly sizable) estate if it comes to that. Right now, his family could very feasibly keep Geffyn from even being able to see him in the hospital if he were there for an extended stay and they're the vindictive, immature types who would likely try something like that.
I think there are definite benefits missed out on when you single out groups and disallow them to marry. For some things like insurance and work benefits, there's no legal alternative to access other than marriage. I can see why some poly couples would find it off-putting that they couldn't reap the same benefits from their relationships as mono couples. It's just lucky for Geffyn and Jamie that the specific concerns they have can be attended through other legal contracts.
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:16 am
I would, but mostly because I like the party. biggrin
There are ways to make the different estate laws and whatnot less complicated, so I don't worry too much about that.
One of my boys, we're planning a wedding far in to the future because we want the party. It has nothing to do with loving each other more than my other partner or a burning desire for a piece of paper. We just want to throw one hell of a party and when I married my ex-husband, it was me, my (then) husband, our first daughter, his parents, my mom, sister and older daughter all in my living room. His father married us, my mother witnessed, and I was in an ugly red business suit that I dispised and was too small. >.>
I want to plan a better wedding, I want to have a better wedding. I don't really care about being married or not, I want the party. lol It may be selfish, but me and my boy like the idea, and my other boy knows it has no impact on loving him.
I'd marry him too if it was legal and he was willing. Another party? Sure. razz
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 5:06 pm
I'm for marriage, but that's because it has meaning to me. I know not everyone has the same belief, but it doesn't make it less for me.
I think that anyone that wants to get married should be allowed too. Like my brother and his boyfriend if they wanted to. I think its unfair.
As for multi-married, I think it could be a bit a confusing, and as for the American government, I don't think they could handle the stress since they're not intelligent enough to deal with it. Civil contracts would be nice to those that want legal benefits for multi-partnership.
My husband and I have a triad relationship with our girl Eevee, and if it ever came to wanting that kind of commitment, I wouldn't mind have a "marriage" for us, even if the government would refuse to recognize it as such. A nice ceremony that we believe in is more important anyway.
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