Christmas Letters

[Kusaragi]

Be they letters from Santa or the Mad-libs that we have come to expect from the Gaia Developers. Post all your funny, amusing, or just plain CRAZY letters here. Personally I think Æ takes the cake on strangest single letter in the world wink

Don't forget to grab the Wing stickers every day folks. Happy holidays and Merry Christmas  

[Rica is insane]

Silly is you in a natural state,
and serious is something you have to do
until you can get silly again

Awwwww Kusa you're a jerk. xD I was gonna do this!

( ﾟヮﾟ)

 

[Kusaragi]

Lobo gave me one that I couldn't stop laughing at

Lobo-chan

Dear Kusaragi,

Today we decorated our holiday whale. I hung strings of white whale sperm all over it, and topped it with a baby whale. It's beluga! Plus it smells like a dead whale, wafting holiday cheer throughout the house. Pretty soon I'm going to breaching some cookies to give to Free Willy. I've got a few special ingredients I want to include: some pod, whales and killer berries. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Yours swimmingly,
Lobo-chan

 

[Lobo-chan]

Somehow I knew you'd like it razz I sent Aretoo an alien themed one.
I haven't gotten any of the nifty mad-lib letters yet, though. Ah well, I'll get one eventually.

Merry Christmas everybody ^.^  

[Kusaragi]

Lobo-chan

Somehow I knew you'd like it razz I sent Aretoo an alien themed one.
I haven't gotten any of the nifty mad-lib letters yet, though. Ah well, I'll get one eventually.

Merry Christmas everybody ^.^

I have fixed it for you. and I'm surprised that that made a bit of sense at the end there xd  

[Kalstolyn]

Dear Kalstolyn,

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is getting warm and cozy when it's cold outside. Right now we are all huddled around a giant muffin for warmth drinking beer. I'm reading a book on the history of kittens-- really scary stuff. What''s the weather like where you are? I heard it might get pretty shiny before the week's over. Oh well; rain or shine, you can always hop under a scarf and snuggle up with a hippo on your lap!

Yours frightfully,
wakusei

... I am frightened; this sounds like an ordinary ATG letter, and does not really seem like a mad lib at all.

EDIT: And another one that just sounds ike an ordinary letter from one ATGer to another:

Dear Kalstolyn,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new potato you saw in Home Depot-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left nose to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand vandalisms to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Mother Teresa, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Batman in the ribcage for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours soulfully,
pickle relish  

[Lobo-chan]

Dear Lobo-chan,

Today we decorated our holiday enormous pile of socks. I hung strings of dainty children's teeth all over it, and topped it with a stolen panties. It's wicked! Plus it smells like a baby prostitute, wafting holiday cheer throughout the house. Pretty soon I'm going to steal some cookies to give to JimBob. I've got a few special ingredients I want to include: some shards of glass, thumbtacks and rancid berries. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Yours sociopathically,
Taeryyn

I received one from Kusa and one from Jaft, but Tae's was just the funniest. Jaft's was pure perviness razz  

[124-C]

Quote:

Dear 124-C,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a jolly Xmas! I'm sure visions of toast-plums are already smoking in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your pansies with boughs of sugar? Have you spiked the cookies with plenty of orange juice? Have you caroling your hat by the chimney with care? Did you leave out chicken leg and some soda for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours joyfully,
wakusei

Quote:

Dear 124-C,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new love doll you saw in Joe's XXX Warehouse-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left fapping hand to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand prostitutionss to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Lorena Bobbett, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch my mom in the ovary for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours gracefully,
Taeryyn

Tae's really kind of scares me... >_>

Quote:

Dear 124-C,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new kitten you saw in Bed Bath and Beyond-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left eyebrow to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand prostitutions to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Bill Murray, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch The Hulk in the earlobe for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours energetically,
pickle relish

[Edit - 12/21/2010]

Quote:

Dear 124-C,

Looks like winter's here--tea cups have been falling all night and now the ground is completely covered! I almost couldn't get out of the house; this stuff is up to my navel. So I got out a scyth and sliced them into a pile. Lobo and I have been jumping in it all day. I'm hoping that the weather changes, though; before Christmas I really want to make glaze angels.

Yours Fluffily,
Kusaragi

 

[pickle relish]

Quote:

Dear pickle relish,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new llama you saw in Jaft's House of Llamas-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left fallopian tube to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand llama kidnappings to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, the Pope, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Super Llamario in the esophagus for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours mischievously,
Jaft

Quote:

Dear pickle relish,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a EFFING TERRIBLE Xmas! I'm sure visions of moldy-plums are already rotting in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your doorframes with boughs of bloody human limbs? Have you spiked the snow leopard steaks with plenty of blood of infants? Have you burn your bra by the chimney with care? Did you leave out rancid pizza and some Mountain Dew for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours aggressively,
Taeryyn

 

[Taeryyn]

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that both Pickles and I wrote that Tsuji is willing to commit a thousand prostitutions? biggrin

Also, you may have noticed that I really enjoy morbid or slightly inappropriate mad libs. The scariness makes them more fun. biggrin biggrin  

[emmmahy]

I keep forgetting about the stickers ffff-  

[Kusaragi]

aretoo

Dear Kusaragi,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new post office box you saw in Everything For A Dollar-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left p***s to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand jaywalkings to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Christopher Reeve, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Ambush Bug in the tonsil for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours amazingly,
aretoo

I HAVE to share this one simply for the burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes
Effect it has.  

[Lobo-chan]

You mean you have more than one-? Nevermind xp

Yeah, I think my head did explode on that one. Yay, burning_eyes !  

[Taeryyn]

Quote:

Dear Taeryyn,

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is getting warm and cozy when it's cold outside. Right now we are all huddled around a pyre of dead bodies for warmth drinking unspeakable things. I'm reading a book on the history of mutilation-- really adorable stuff. What''s the weather like where you are? I heard it might get pretty gruesome before the week's over. Oh well; rain or shine, you can always hop under a person's skinned flesh and snuggle up with a murder of crows on your lap!

Yours homicidally,
wakusei

x3 So effing awesome.  

[Kalstolyn]

Dear Kalstolyn,

Today we decorated our holiday Andre the Giant. I hung strings of hairy eyeballs all over it, and topped it with a coconut. It's really messed up! Plus it smells like a latrine, wafting holiday cheer throughout the house. Pretty soon I'm going to spit on some cookies to give to the less fortunate. I've got a few special ingredients I want to include: some lice, ticks and fart berries. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Yours bizarrely,
wakusei

heart spitting on cookies. oh the humanitarian... ness.