Virginia

[Rica is insane]

So Rica is making a topic for once. However this one is morely asking for advice.

Now lately my Nana (Grandmother) has been talking about retiring and moving back to Texas.

Which would mean leaving me alone with my terrible mother, her terrible husband, his terrible son, and my brother and sister. Not to mention, they're considering moving to Georgia after Nana leaves.

So I've been thinking on a few options so I don't have to move with them/move with Nana.

First Option, moving back in with my Dad. Now normally this would be the most obvious choice except that he lives in the next town over and I would have NO way to make/see people aside from those that are in the house. Not to mention, Michigan has a crappy job market so not much chance for a job either. But on the bonus side, since I'm a resident I can easily get into college here.

Second Option, moving to Virginia. Now this is a bit shaky because I'd probably be living with my boyfriend and his family, I'd have to wait even LONGER to go to college so it won't be even more insanely expensive than it is already. But they have a better job market there.

Both of these however would require me to get my driver's license. Something I've been trying to do since I was 16. My problem with that being...I'm not a bad driver persay...I just don't trust anyone else on the road. Been nearly hit too many times while walking home from school.

EDIT: Most of this decision making randomness came from a realization that doing what I have been doing is getting me nowhere. As relaxing and fun as it is I need to do something more.


ANOTHER EDIT: I have more options than I originally thought. I could move to Texas with my Uncle Regan.

Or I could move to Georgia and move in with my Uncle Jeff.

So...any advice for the Rica on what to do?

Any more options you can enlighten me on?

 

[SuchSweetSadism]

Question, could you dorm once in college?

That would be a main part for me to if it was my decision.  

[Rica is insane]

I could, but it would make things slightly more expensive and though I could ask for help from my two Great Aunts, I only wish to do that as a last resort.

 

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

What's so great about them?

....

;D  

[Rica is insane]

Aside from the fact that their pretty rich? ;o

 

[Elcia]

First, I would advise that you not chose to live at school, simply because it is insanely more expensive than most college students can logically afford.

Second, I can relate to the driving thing I hate it and avoid it like the plague, but i have a conveniently placed train line.

Third, I don't know what your relationship with your boyfriend is like but you have to ask yourself if living with his folks is something that will suit everyone involved.

None of that is very helpful, now my question is: would said aunts be willing to help you go to school... lets say you did say with your dad so that you'd be less likely to need to work so much while at school?
I ask this because so many of my classmate are visibly having trouble with their grades (and thus prolonging their collage experience expenses torture) for no other reason than because they are doing too much at once.

If you know what you want to take then you want to get into school and get it over with in a timely fashion. It helps no one if you have to put in extra semesters because of complications.
Once you do have a degree it is not as hard to move to the area with good job markets...lets say you move in with your boyfriend then. And in an ideal world would not have to wait as long to find a good job and then move on with your life from there i.e. make enough money to get a place of your own.

Don;t know if I helped any sweatdrop  

[Arcanas]

Well, all I can really tell you is stay away from the west coast -_- Job market here is completely horrible.

As for the whole license thing, I don't trust the other drivers either...that's the whole deal of "defensive driving" You're not supposed to trust the other drivers. You're supposed to assume they're all idiots.  

[Rica is insane]

@Elicia- I don't WANT to live with his family, even though they absolutely adore me and I them but this is coming from slight desperation in terms of my mental/emotional health. As well as in terms of protecting my possessions. (I've had far more stolen from me in the short time they've lived here than what was stolen when someone broke into the house.)

My mother and her husband....aren't nice people, let's just put it that way.

The only reason I believe they'd be willing is because they offered to put me through college in Texas, but they want me going to a big university, which I'm not comfortable with. From what I hear and know, there are community colleges in both Virginia and Michigan...but I worry from how my Nana and Mother are they'll pressure me to going to a big college if I stay there.

The quickest way to get through college would be to go by my original plan, going to the local community college for 2 years then transferring over to the small university. But due to a possible lack of transportation I'm not sure if I'd be able to do that from where my Dad is living.

And you did, you gave me more to think about yes, but that's not always a bad thing.

@Arc- Yes, hence why my mother's complaining about it confuses me. When I practice driving I get really nervous when there are other cars on the road with me. She says I need to calm down and trust other drivers. I just tell her that she hasn't nearly gotten hit everyday walking home from school.

 

[Arcanas]

Your mom is something else...and to be quite honest, I think about 95% of the US population wouldn't be able to get their license in other countries, since they actually have a more difficult process when applying for a driver's license...  

[Rica is insane]

Ha ha probably not. We probably should have a tougher driving exam. Seriously. I shouldn't have to worry about getting hit while walking on the neighborhood streets home.

And...my mother is quite the character. stare

 

[Arcanas]

Rica is insane

Ha ha probably not. We probably should have a tougher driving exam. Seriously. I shouldn't have to worry about getting hit while walking on the neighborhood streets home.

And...my mother is quite the character. stare

Seriously...I think for Europe, you need to have at least 6 months experience under hazardous weather conditions, with an instructor before they even consider letting you take their driving test.  

[Rica is insane]

That's awesome actually. Probably saves a lot of lives.

 

[Arcanas]

Rica is insane

That's awesome actually. Probably saves a lot of lives.

and it's quite expensive...  

[Rica is insane]

True. But honestly, particularly here in Michigan where it's humid, even in the winter...it's a good idea. The winter is the season of car crashes because there's SO MUCH ICE. It doesn't even have to snow or rain and we get ice. There's a crash at least once a week I would hear about.

 

[Kalstolyn]

Kals is questing again!

Driver's licensing requirements are pretty strict here compared to when I was a young whippersnapper in search of a license. You can still get a learner's permit at 14, and you still have to be 16 to take your driving exam, but now you have to have your learner's for MUCH longer if you get it after you turn 16, and you get a probationary license for 18 months when you do pass the exam, after which time you have to take another driving exam to become fully licensed.

That being said, what the heck is the matter with Michigan that it does not have effective public transit? Even stupid Edmonton has transit from basically everywhere in the city AND the larger outlying towns (sherwood park, st. albert, fort saskatchewan, even morrinville!) to the universities and colleges. The only really important place that you can't get to by bus or train is the airport. Tell me how that makes any sense?!

My experience with living in rez is that it's WAY cheaper than renting anywhere else, and WAY WAY cheaper than owning a car. Also you get to be part of the community, which can have the beneficial effect of giving you built-in study buddies and people whose shoulders you can cry on when the going gets tough. Then again, I went to a small Christian University College, so attitudes there may be more positive and supportive than they would be at larger "party" schools.

As for being "pressured" to go to a big school, post-secondary is the point in your life when you have to make your own decisions and mistakes and learn to cope with them. It's okay to be stubborn with your family members over which school you go to. Especially if you're paying your own way.

I don't know if your state or federal governments offe4r bursaries or interest-free student loans, but here in Canada, you can get a loan from the Government to help cover your tuition and cost of living so that you don't have to work during school, only over the summers. And they don't start charging interest on the loans until six months after you leave school. The interest is pretty high, and if you don't make enough money to pay the loans off quickly, they might own your soul for ten years, but it makes post-secondary education realistic and possible for a lot of people who would otherwise be too poor to attend.

The bottom line: Do what you think is the right thing for YOU and ignore other people's expectations. I know that sounds selfish, but whose future are you creating here? I'm not saying don't listen to your family's advice. I'm saying take it under consideration, but decide for yourself what is the best thing for you to do. If that's finding a basement suite to rent for cheap close to/on a transit line leading to the college you want, then go for it! If it's staying home and putting up with your mom and her husband's ridiculous badness, then do that. Just be sure to weigh your options and know realistically that everything you choose will suck somehow. It's a matter of how much of which kind of suckage you're willing or able to cope with.



EDIT: Oh look, I just wrote a freaking novel. What I really came in here to say was "Every time I see this thread in the topic list, I think it says 'v****a' instead of 'Virginia'..." xd apparently I am actually a twelve-year-old.

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