Parents not revealing child's sex

[TurtIe Tracks]

http://www.thelocal.se/20232/20090623/

Basically, there is a married couple in Sweden that refuses to tell (almost all) people the sex of their 2-year old child, Pop (not the child's real name). They let Pop choose what Pop is going to wear and refer to Pop using Pop's name, rather than with pronouns (which would reveal Pop's sex).

I thought that this was a good idea so people won't label Pop as a girl or a boy, but just as a person. I was kind of surprised by all the people in the comments saying they pity Pop and that this shouldn't be allowed. What do you guys think?  

[LorienLlewellyn]

I actually made a thread about this case in another guild a few months ago! biggrin

Very interesting case. I think it's a great idea. To be honest, I think the people making negative comments don't fully get the concept.

Here's the thread I made in the other guild if you want to read what they had to say:
http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=16029426  

[TurtIe Tracks]

What a coincidence. :O It says I'm not authorized to view the thread though, and I don't know what guild it is. ;--;  

[LorienLlewellyn]

Oh, sorry! It's Fluid. The guild for all sexualities.  

[Jafthasleftthebuilding]

Mixed feelings, but overall, I disagree.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

Jaft

Mixed feelings, but overall, I disagree.

Why?  

[Arcanas]

It doesn't make sense to me, why hide your child's gender?  

[TurtIe Tracks]

They're hiding the child's sex, not gender. I think they want their child to be able to develop his/her "gender" on his/her own, instead of feeling pressured to be what people of their sex traditionally are.  

[Arcanas]

I still don't get it...how does one develop their own gender?

It's just... foreign to me

I mean, wouldn't gender be the same as sex?  

[Taeryyn]

This isn't the first time I've heard of Pop, and my feelings have been the same all along.
It feels like they're using their child as some kind of social experiment or statement, which creeps me out.

There is nothing wrong with allowing the child to step outside traditional gender roles or whatever, but this is ridiculous.

@Arc: Sex is physical. Gender is ...more emotional, or the way one identifies. Basically, sex refers to the male or female parts, gender refers to masculine/feminine.  

[invisible-weirdo]

Arcanas

I still don't get it...how does one develop their own gender?

It's just... foreign to me

I mean, wouldn't gender be the same as sex?

Most people use gender and sex interchangeably but technically sex is the biological bits and gender is which side (male/female) you identify with.

As for the topic at hand, I understand what they're doing and why, but I'm uncomfortable with it, if only because it feels as if they're using their own child as an experiment which strikes me as all kinds of wrong.  

[TurtIe Tracks]

Well if they were using their child as a social statement that would be morally questionable. (For example, that one parent changing his son into a girl...) But they said that they will do whatever Pop wants, including revealing Pop's sex (I doubt this will continue into school years), so I don't think they're trying to do an experiment/statement as much as not wanting Pop to be judged for his/her sex.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

Arcanas

I mean, wouldn't gender be the same as sex?

Not necessarily. Sex is what your body says you are. Gender is what you feel like. The two are the same for most people but not everyone.

Arcanas

I still don't get it...how does one develop their own gender?

Gender develops based on how we feel, what society expects from us, and how society defines our sex.

Arcanas

It doesn't make sense to me, why hide your child's gender?

Studies show that people actually respond to people (even infants) differently depending on their sex. The parents do not want people to know Pop's sex because they don't want people pushing their sex and gender expectations onto Pop.

invisible-weirdo

As for the topic at hand, I understand what they're doing and why, but I'm uncomfortable with it, if only because it feels as if they're using their own child as an experiment which strikes me as all kinds of wrong.

It is not an experiment. They just want to make sure their child becomes who they want to be, not who society wants them to be.  

[Taeryyn]

Why is this being made public at all if they're not trying to make some kind of statement?

It just seems like they're setting the kid up to be alienated from his/her peers right off the bat...  

[Thaliat Everwood]

I think it's rather cool that they are allowing the child to completely develop the early gender preference independent of societal influences.

Some days I like to dress as asexually as possible (I'm such a tomboy, so it's not hard) to see what gender strangers associate with me. When my hair is short, I get called "sir" a lot more than "ma'am". My sex is female, but with out the visual cues or social cues typical of one in the female gender, strangers are forced to assume my gender by my personality. I can have a strong personality which seems more commonly identified with a masculine gender. If I act more reserved people would be more likely to guess my gender as female. I find it fun to leave them wondering. If I had to assign a gender it would be slightly feminine with strong masculine tendencies.