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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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 Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:08 am
I have been watching videos from NON MARRIED Muslim women who are like "Its your duty to support your husband and sisters in Islam if your husband wants a 2nd or more wife" ..All I can think is...These girls are 17 - 19 years old, un married, what do they know of married life to start? Honestly, my husband could never support a 2nd wife, so for this im not worried. But if he wanted a second wife..I would say no. UNLESS...its a sister whos husband has died and she is a widow. I kind of feel like we all have soul mates, and you give your heart to 1 person, I dont want half of his heart and love, i want it all. As he would have all mine. Are you married or unmarried?
Do you support polygamy at this moment?
Could you support your husband in getting a 2nd *or more* wife?
Men: Do you think polygamy is a possibility for your future?
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:49 am
That's a very important question. Right now, I am unmarried. I would prefer my husband to be only with me. We're meant to be fingers on gloves and well... the Qur'an says men can't do justice between two women. Of a surety ye cannot.
So yeah... right now, I would say no.
I would feel very sad that if I can't have children, people would pressure my husband to remarry. I know a man and woman who have been married for 6 (another couple who have been married for 10) and they have no children. When I ask them, they always reply that Allah (swt) will give them. It truly is up to Allah (swt).
I don't know how I will feel if a widow or another woman needs support. I don't really know, InshahAllah I want to be the type of woman who would give that sacrifice, but right now, I don't want to. If he is married to me, I would want it to stay that way. ^^; That is my honest answer, but life hardly works out the way you plan.
On the other hand, I do support it. I have two grandmas, they live together, are like sisters, and my grandfather passed away, but they have each other and are just amazing company. I wish I'd have that type of relationship. But my grandfather was a lovely, lovely person. He was loving and knowledgable, despite being from a village.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:48 am
I kind of get what you all are saying, but being much younger than most of you, i do not have much knowledge. But i still like to believe in soul-mates, and all that.
And i understand if a family can't have any children. I was born late. My parents got married when they were thirty and had me five years later. But still when you pray to Allah, he will give you children.
I'm a living example.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:39 am
I do not support it at all. Even if money wasn't an issue and the guy was a billionare or something, I still don't think a man should have more than one wife. Where's the love in that? I mean, think about it. One man and 7 women? How does that sound right? Plus, it's just unfair to some women. The man is obviously going to have favorites and treat each one differently. One is enough.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:52 am
blackbird creative I do not support it at all. Even if money wasn't an issue and the guy was a billionare or something, I still don't think a man should have more than one wife. Where's the love in that? I mean, think about it. One man and 7 women? How does that sound right? Plus, it's just unfair to some women. The man is obviously going to have favorites and treat each one differently. One is enough. And that is what Islam says. It recommends men marry one wife. Unless he can treat each wife equally. You cannot prevent favouritism, even the Prophet (saw) had a favourite wife, but he treated all of them equally in the time, care, attenion, love and support he gave them. I think it's perfectly possible to love more than one person, too. As such, I'm not against polygamy, and I can see it being beneficial in certain situations and circumstances. I myself would not want it though, it requires a certain mindset that I don't have. And others welcome the thought. Islam makes a recommendation, sets a limit, leaves it open for everyone to suit their own and prohibits it when a man cannot meet the requirements.
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:42 pm
I never knew any family members who had did such a practice, but I agree with some of the other posters. Really, I don't like the idea much about a man having more then one wife; its having his heart split for two woman and a woman wants it all. However, that's not the case. Let's say I had gotten married, and a very close friend's pious husband died, which would make her fall under poverty, I would give full consent to my husband to marry her to support her.
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:24 pm
Lonedreamers That's a very important question. Right now, I am unmarried. I would prefer my husband to be only with me. We're meant to be fingers on gloves and well... the Qur'an says men can't do justice between two women. Of a surety ye cannot. So yeah... right now, I would say no. I would feel very sad that if I can't have children, people would pressure my husband to remarry. I know a man and woman who have been married for 6 (another couple who have been married for 10) and they have no children. When I ask them, they always reply that Allah (swt) will give them. It truly is up to Allah (swt). I don't know how I will feel if a widow or another woman needs support. I don't really know, InshahAllah I want to be the type of woman who would give that sacrifice, but right now, I don't want to. If he is married to me, I would want it to stay that way. ^^; That is my honest answer, but life hardly works out the way you plan. On the other hand, I do support it. I have two grandmas, they live together, are like sisters, and my grandfather passed away, but they have each other and are just amazing company. I wish I'd have that type of relationship. But my grandfather was a lovely, lovely person. He was loving and knowledgable, despite being from a village.@ bold: Awww, thats so sweet emo And I support it as well ^^
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:26 pm
Nennies blackbird creative I do not support it at all. Even if money wasn't an issue and the guy was a billionare or something, I still don't think a man should have more than one wife. Where's the love in that? I mean, think about it. One man and 7 women? How does that sound right? Plus, it's just unfair to some women. The man is obviously going to have favorites and treat each one differently. One is enough. And that is what Islam says. It recommends men marry one wife. Unless he can treat each wife equally. You cannot prevent favouritism, even the Prophet (saw) had a favourite wife, but he treated all of them equally in the time, care, attenion, love and support he gave them. I think it's perfectly possible to love more than one person, too. As such, I'm not against polygamy, and I can see it being beneficial in certain situations and circumstances. I myself would not want it though, it requires a certain mindset that I don't have. And others welcome the thought. Islam makes a recommendation, sets a limit, leaves it open for everyone to suit their own and prohibits it when a man cannot meet the requirements. I agree, it does require a certain mindset ><
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:44 pm
People, especially men like to forget that polygamy is not a right, but a privilege. Even the prophet (saw) himself asked Ali not to take a second wife while married to Fatima, because Fatima had already dealt with loss and a co-wife would sadden her greatly.
People forget that you're supposed to be deeply considerate with these decisions.
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 4:03 pm
I like what Call me apple said and what alot of you say too!
A heart is meant to share with one person. Like my heart is sealed shut. The onlt time it will open, is when my Romeo ( who live!) comes and opens the lock with his love.
My heart will only be for him,and his heart better be for me and only me. Or else i will close my heart, and kick he out of the house ( I' talking about cheating).
Once i married and stuff, I do plan to work before and while i'm married, i studied too hard to throw away my future. If i do become wealth and of course my husband does too(i don't plan on marrying a idiot and i don't care if is rich when we first marry), never will i let him marry another women. Unless like Call Me Apple said, if the woman needs help, never maybe, i might let he for a while, till she get better. Or we can get money till she get well ever to support her self.
But it depend on a lot of things. Also, Allah said if the men does have more then one wife, he must marry the other wife for a reason like to help her, or to protect her, and stuff like that. Not of sex, because he has the money for more then one wife. He must treat them like equals and get them each a house of equal value and other things of equal value. Never one wife is treated better because she better then all the others.
Also the men MUST ask ask his wife(s) before get married to other women.
But lucky me, America does not allow thing like that here. So I'm fine. Only a few countries allow it.
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