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 Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:56 am
My boyfriend is sweet and attractive but he works all day in fast food and won't shower or bathe (even when politely suggested that he should have a hot bath after a long day at work - I finally outright told him he smelled, in the politest manner possible and he sulked for hours). He also has a dog he won't take for walks so it is destructive and craps everywhere except outside. His sense of cleanlieness drives me mad.
Any tips for getting him to clean up his act?
-Formerly La Belle Isolde-
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:54 am
Tell him that you're trying not to be insulting and trying to be helpful. He NEEDS to shower, I know what the smell of a kitchen is like on a person you want to RUN THE ******** AWAY, and tell him it's really not an attractive smell. I would also hop in the shower with him and make it fun if you guys are doing stuff like that. As for the dog, it's actually cruelty to animals letting them piss and s**t in the house. I would tell him straight up if he can't take of the dog he should get rid of it.
I have had to clean up dog piss so ******** often now that either the house is stained with dog piss and it always smells, or my nose is burned with the smell. Either way I'm always smelling dog piss and I want to vomit all the time now!
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:32 am
I wish sharing the shower worked. He doesn't seem into that, he's got loads of intimacy issues and it drives me nuts. I swear, if nothing's gonna change I'm gonna have to go.
As for the dog, I made sure he knew what he was getting with her and he said yep. I'm tempted to take her.
-Formerly La Belle Isolde-
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:43 pm
Hmm...well people will only change their habits if they want to. If you've told him about these things, and he refuses to do anything about them, then he probably won't. Be very clear to him about how much these things bother you. If that's still not enough for him, then you guys may just have different priorities, and I suppose it's up to you how important those things are.
A note of personal experience: My boyfriend and I once got into an argument because I was trying to keep the place clean (we don't live together, he was visiting me for a week), and he kept leaving dirty dishes around. He didn't see what the big deal was, but I was a little pissed about it, because I was trying to be more responsible and keep things relatively clean. We both agreed that we just had different priorities at the time, and by respecting each others' viewpoints we got over it. He eventually got better at cleaning things up, and I relaxed a little more.
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 2:45 pm
A bit personal and I'm sorry, but do the issues prevent him from letting you see him fully nude? If not I would simply make it a thing where you wash him. I know GTR LOVES when I wash him, specifically his hair, maybe that could be something to try, if he lets you.
As for the dog, if you're willing to take the dog and train her that is probably the best idea, then after her habits change you can say "This is all you had to do, are you willing to?" I would add "If not then the dog is mine" might hit home a bit more... or I'm just a b***h... *shrugs*
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:52 pm
If he's not willing to walk his dog, he shouldn't have one. :s It's one thing not to care about oneself, but to be apathetic towards an animal to the point where you let it go to the bathroom inside...
I'm sorry, I can't fathom that.
I also wouldn't put up with that. I've had to, with previous roommates, but it's certainly not something I'd tolerate from a boyfriend.
You can't make someone change, and you're not his mother. It's far from unreasonable to expect someone to practice basic hygiene and take care of their pets. Refusal to do both of these things is something you expect from a 5 year-old, not an adult.
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Jafthasleftthebuilding Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:07 pm
If you end up leaving due to him not changing his ways, make sure he knows, so that he may reflect on them later and possibly make better decisions concerning hygiene and animal care.
Because from what you told us so far, it's all incredibly disgusting.
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:46 pm
I'll paint you mornings of gold,
I'll spin you Valentine evenings...http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html
I know you're not married, but the theories can still work. wink Though we're strangers till now,
We're choosing a path between the stars.
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:25 pm
Chex, you are a genius.
I think this might fix all the other problems. Heck, I've started doing that on a small scale in certain areas and it's improved things a lot.
And no GRM, I see him naked, but he seems freaked out by intimate touching.
-Formerly La Belle Isolde-
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:18 pm
Trish the Stalker My boyfriend is sweet and attractive but he works all day in fast food and won't shower or bathe (even when politely suggested that he should have a hot bath after a long day at work - I finally outright told him he smelled, in the politest manner possible and he sulked for hours). He also has a dog he won't take for walks so it is destructive and craps everywhere except outside. His sense of cleanlieness drives me ma
Any tips for getting him to clean up his act?
-Formerly La Belle Isolde-
idk just secertly spary him with sumtin like frebrezze or sumthin XD
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 4:21 pm
ultra princesscute14 Trish the Stalker My boyfriend is sweet and attractive but he works all day in fast food and won't shower or bathe (even when politely suggested that he should have a hot bath after a long day at work - I finally outright told him he smelled, in the politest manner possible and he sulked for hours). He also has a dog he won't take for walks so it is destructive and craps everywhere except outside. His sense of cleanlieness drives me ma
Any tips for getting him to clean up his act?
-Formerly La Belle Isolde-
idk just secertly spary him with sumtin like frebrezze or sumthin XD Damn you are lucky I have no ban hammer I hope you get the issue resolved as insanitary coupling sounds like a bad idea... hope chex's idea worked =]
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Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:07 am
Ok Belle, then I would totally try just washing his hair and back for now. See how that goes, if he still doesn't like it, then something else really needs to happen!
Chex, I loved the link, it wouldn't work on GTR though because he knows how conditioning works! sad
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Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 10:00 am
That's not conditioning, it's behaviour modification. Conditioning is when you get the subject to associate a particular response with a certain previously unrelated stimulus.
The described system of positive reinforcement combined with extinction of unwanted behaviours is used by people who work with children with special needs such as ODD, CD, and ASD.
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