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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:38 pm
This is something I am noticing with a ton of female reverts, they find Islam cool and exotic, and RUSH into it. Declare theirself a Muslim publicaly, start trying to wear hijab right away and look for a habibi. Then 6 months or 1 year down the line, they realize it's a chore. They didnt think it through properly. Then are forced to declare theirself an apostate. All because they did not spend adequete time researching Islam and REALLY loving it. Not just liking the hijab, the middle eastern culture, and thinking "exotic" Apostate Apostate 2 I dont mind people converting to Islam, then leaving. It's a HUGE commitment and I dont get why people are making such decisions in haste then quitting >< To Born Muslims: Does this paint a negative view of reverts? Have you known anyone to convert then leave?
To Reverts: Think about this, do you think you jumped into Islam in haste? Or did you plan it out?
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:19 pm
It doesn't give me a negative view of reverts, because I also know reverts who took the time to research and think, and have stayed with it for many years now.
I have known a few people my age that reverted and changed their mind. It seems to me that just wanted to be part of the community. To a young person looking to "find themselves", a community like Islam, with beautiful culture and traditions, and a feeling of belonging seems great.
Like kimdonesia. I don't want to make assumptions about her, but it seems like after spending time in Indonesia, she experienced the Muslim community and lifestyle, and decided it was something she wanted in her life. However, she only learned and changed what she had to to be part of the lifestyle, and then one day when she really needed faith, she realized "hey, I don't know if I even believe this". It's really sad, because she had a fiance and everything, but in a way I'm glad she made this decision before getting married.
I feel bad for reverts who lose their faith, because I feel like they were really looking for something with hearts open, but they just went about it the wrong way. Inshallah one day they will give it a second look.
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:26 pm
Converting to any faith for a fad is disgusting! scream It's an insult to the faith and it's people.
I've put much thought and planning into my conversion to Islam. I even waited a long time, because I wanted to make sure that it was the right thing to do. Matters of faith are serious and require commitment. It's a long, slow process filled with many joys and challenges. You can't rush into it. Even if you want to do everything from the start it's not a good idea, because you can get frustrated and burn out easily.
In the past couple of months, I've finished the Qur'an and cut pork and alcohol from my diet. By this time next year, God willing I'll be able to pray properly and perhaps have the courage to be a full time hijabi.
For other serious reverts like myself, I wish Allah's blessings and good luck to you. 3nodding For those, who view it as a fad: get a life!
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:47 am
I don't think I personally rushed into things, but in retrospect I think I probably would've liked to take even more time to make my decision. I am happy where I am though, Alhamdullilah =)
I know/know of a number of girls who reverted to Islam because they wanted to be part of something. Not in the sense of it being a fad, but they wanted to belong somewhere, to belong to something bigger. I only hope that these girls, if they make a rushed decision, aren't met by a wall of expectations. Anyone should have the time to ease into it, and insha'Allah, when they learn it's more intricate than they initially thought, I hope they will love it.
It is a major decision, a life changing something. But I also think that for some people the process can be very quick, almost instant. Some friends of mine literally became muslims in minutes, almost, knowing the commitment they were making. But even they need time to learn everything, and that's only natural. You can't do everything at once. To an extent it depends on the person. But rushing into something without knowing what it entails is not wise.
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 4:07 pm
Yes, I agree 100%. Even wearing Hijab itself has become a fad and only for "fashion". They don't even know the meaning behind it. Not only in America, but in the middle east. They wear the colorful hijabs or most expensive, like how people buy $500 jeans or something like that, except they also wear tight clothes with it. Some don't even wear the hijab like they should, but it's all for style.
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Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:23 am
Assalamualaykum, hmm interesting challenging questions sister, smile
Well no I don't think it paints any negative image about reverts in general at all. I admire and love a lotta reverts, who are like the Islamic scholars or international speakers that can be seen even today. And all the Sahabas were reverts and they were the best of people and the best of example to follow after the Prophet Muhammad (saw), Alhamdulillah.
I personally judge people as individuals and I think that is the right way. Everyone is different. Just like there are people among reverts who have weak faith, there are also born Muslims who have weak faiths. I dunno much about reverts leaving Islam personally, but I do know about born so called Muslims leaving Islam and choosing another religion. The reason is simple they are ignorant, have no knowledge of what Islam really is, and for some it's a chore because they don't understand the true meaning, essence and spirit of Islam, Auzubillah. I talked to some, and one of them even returned to praying again, Alhamdulillah. So yes I do hope such people give it a second look, and Insha'Allah may Allah Guide them, ameen. Only Allah can Guide His servants, and when He Guides, none can lead them astray; and the sincere Muslims who really know about their Deen born Muslims or reverts, these are the people who have submitted wholeheartedly, and will be willing to give their whole life for it Insha'Allah and not the other way around. So may Allah keep us Muslims in the straight path, and help us to be the best of Muslims, ameen. Assalamualaykum smile
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:38 pm
Not all Muslim converts are like that....some do stay Muslim for the rest of their lives, and some are really great scholars.
I find it actually kind of sickening that she can just do that, as if this is nothing but a fad...like some high school trend.
This is a religion!
Not something she can just play with like that...It is just sick what she jut did. And i read some of those comments and most i read are just supporting them.
People really should research about religions, before jumping into conclusions.
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Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:36 am
turbodrift_king I personally judge people as individuals and I think that is the right way. Why would you do such a thing when it is not your job to? Judging anyone I would think would be the incorrect thing. Perhaps that is not what you meant to convey...but rather you meant you take people on a case-by-case basis? My two cents...I'm really kind of wary when anyone under the age of about 19-22 jumps head first into a major life decision like what religion they follow. I don't usually see it panning out long-term for them. I don't feel that teenagers have the proper critical thinking skills necessary to read up on and learn about a faith properly to make a clear decision of "Yes this is what I agree with and want to live every day" or "No this is not for me."
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:00 pm
I've personally known a woman who treated Islam as a fad. Before converting she was a professional belly dancer. She was enchanted by Arab and Turkish culture and soon after converting, she threw on hijab, made DRAMATIC changes in her lifestyle, and was on the look out for a husband (she seemed to ONLY want a man from the middle east). Well, she soon learned that Middle Eastern culture is NOT a fairy tale and she soon got disheartened. Many of these foreign men were turned off by her previous career (in a lot of Arab countries, belly dancers are also prostitutes). When people insisted that she get a husband from a more similar culture, like one brought up in the states, she refused. She got burned time and time again. I personally suggested that she not even focus on marriage right now and that she slow down on her dramatic transition and pick up Islam slowly. Well not even a year later, she gave up on Islam, took off hijab and is living even more flamboyantly than before she converted.
I'm a convert myself but I converted very young (fifteen) and the best advice I got from friends is that it's best to take things slow. I didn't even think of wearing hijab until a year later and marriage is not even an issue. Due to certain life changes, I've had my ups and downs in regards to deen but inshallah I will get better. I've been Muslim for three years so far.
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Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:33 pm
Basbousa I've personally known a woman who treated Islam as a fad. Before converting she was a professional belly dancer. She was enchanted by Arab and Turkish culture and soon after converting, she threw on hijab, made DRAMATIC changes in her lifestyle, and was on the look out for a husband (she seemed to ONLY want a man from the middle east). Well, she soon learned that Middle Eastern culture is NOT a fairy tale and she soon got disheartened. Many of these foreign men were turned off by her previous career (in a lot of Arab countries, belly dancers are also prostitutes). When people insisted that she get a husband from a more similar culture, like one brought up in the states, she refused. She got burned time and time again. I personally suggested that she not even focus on marriage right now and that she slow down on her dramatic transition and pick up Islam slowly. Well not even a year later, she gave up on Islam, took off hijab and is living even more flamboyantly than before she converted. I'm a convert myself but I converted very young (fifteen) and the best advice I got from friends is that it's best to take things slow. I didn't even think of wearing hijab until a year later and marriage is not even an issue. Due to certain life changes, I've had my ups and downs in regards to deen but inshallah I will get better. I've been Muslim for three years so far. I had no idea you were a revert, masha allah smile Yeah its too bad about your friend...I cant imagine anything more embarrassing than jumping into something as serious as another religion then declaring yourself an apostate :X
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 9:29 pm
Call Me Apple Basbousa I've personally known a woman who treated Islam as a fad. Before converting she was a professional belly dancer. She was enchanted by Arab and Turkish culture and soon after converting, she threw on hijab, made DRAMATIC changes in her lifestyle, and was on the look out for a husband (she seemed to ONLY want a man from the middle east). Well, she soon learned that Middle Eastern culture is NOT a fairy tale and she soon got disheartened. Many of these foreign men were turned off by her previous career (in a lot of Arab countries, belly dancers are also prostitutes). When people insisted that she get a husband from a more similar culture, like one brought up in the states, she refused. She got burned time and time again. I personally suggested that she not even focus on marriage right now and that she slow down on her dramatic transition and pick up Islam slowly. Well not even a year later, she gave up on Islam, took off hijab and is living even more flamboyantly than before she converted. I'm a convert myself but I converted very young (fifteen) and the best advice I got from friends is that it's best to take things slow. I didn't even think of wearing hijab until a year later and marriage is not even an issue. Due to certain life changes, I've had my ups and downs in regards to deen but inshallah I will get better. I've been Muslim for three years so far. I had no idea you were a revert, masha allah smile Yeah its too bad about your friend...I cant imagine anything more embarrassing than jumping into something as serious as another religion then declaring yourself an apostate :X Yeah. I'd imagine it's pretty humiliating to come out and say you weren't sure. It's kinda like nobody is really on your side. Muslims are like, "WTF?" and non-Muslims are like "I told you so..."
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