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So I need some advice, how do I get over the whole, "caring" thing.
My boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for a few months now. To be clear he is "poly amorous" however I am collared to him and am therefore unable to see others so I am just monogamous I guess.
My problem is this. Poly-amory means "many loves." However my boyfriend doesn't believe that love exists and openly admits to being manslut. I don't have a problem with polyamory for either of us, but he is just a mockery of it. It's depressing and making me feel like crap. He was supposed to get kicked out of his roommates house as of Saturday but mooched some money off his parents to live there a bit longer just so that he could invite a woman over for a few nights and not have to invade my house just yet. (He was going to move into my giant closet since its huge and he has nowhere else close to go).
It's ripping me apart because he says he cares about me but he's so two-faced. I don't want to dump him because I'm already shitty and he's one of the few people around that I can talk to and be with, regardless of between the sheets.
He also lies to people about having a girlfriend or at least misleads them until its too late...
I'm afraid that the pain of being alone again will kill me... but I dont have anyone else...

Sounds like he doesn't want a polyamorous relationship, he wants an open relationship...or perhaps not even that much as he is lying to others about being in a relaitonship. I would caution you heavily about this relationship. Honestly, I can understand him being one of a few people who you can talk to and hang out with... but if he's treating you like s**t, if he's forcing a double standard of "I can do whatever I want but you can't" just because you're 'collared' and because he appears to have little respect for your feelings and you as a person (as well as the others he coerces into bed) honestly the best thing I could give advice for you to do would be to not let him move in and potentially break up with him.

I know being alone is a scary and painful prospect, but honestly if being around him and with him is making you feel like s**t and getting depressed anyway I wonder what the point of the relationship is? He has proven to be deceiptful and not care about the people he's with to get what he wants from them, it would be hard for him to assure you that he is not being deceiptful to you as well. It seems as though there is not enough respect or trust in this relationship.

You don't have to get over the whole "caring" thing, if you don't like the situation you can stand up for yourself and your feelings. If you're uncomfortable with what is going on, if you don't like the situation and do not want to be in such a relaitonship and/or dislike the fact that he decieves others just to get them into bed... then it may be a good idea to talk with him about it and try to work these things throug to where you can both be comfortable and neither of you are feeling like crap or getting depressed. Though a word of caution- if he does not want to change, he will not. I do not think that it is impossible for deceiptful people to change, but it is impossible to change if they don't want to change.

You do not have to be stuck in this situation just because you fear being alone. I can understand that the prospect of being alone can seem very overwhelming, but if you talk to him and try to work things out but they don't change... all of this is just going to continue. At some point being alone will be the preferable option, but I worry that because of your first post perhaps this is going to lead (if it hasn't already) to a dependant relationship where you see no other choice but to stay, regardless of how crappy and depressed it makes you feel and I worry about that a lot. Being alone isn't the end of the world, and relationships are supposed to be about both people coming together, not one person getting everything they want and doing things to make the other feel depressed and crappy.

I really worry about this situation and there are so many things that are red flags that I say, were I you, I wouldn't let him move in before the issues get resolved, and if they don't I would break up with him. Ultimately it's up to you what you do, but please understand that being alone isn't the end of the world and it's hardly ever as painful as you think. I wouldn't let yourself become a doormat for him, if something he is doing is hurting you you should have the right to tell him to stop and if he doesn't you have the right to walk away. From my perspective there really is hardly any point to be in a relationship that makes you feel depressed and like s**t.

I'm really sorry that this was a somewhat late reply. I hope this has helped a little and I hope you find what will work to fix this issue.