Way too many Gaians signatures
92% of teenagers would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your signature if you are part of the 8% that would be laughing.
Do I even need to say just on how many levels this signature is wrong?! First of all, for the longest while I didn't even know what Abercrombie & Fitch was. They're a clothing chain, I know this now, but there isn't even one in my town! And yet, because I'm a teenager, this signature says I either need to have monk-like control over my breathing or be so ******** up I'd find the mass genocide of almost everybody on the planet from 13-19 funny!
So if this signature were realistic, I'd suddenly find myself a twenty year old? Actually, this signature gives me a mental image out of some kind of ******** up horror film: Almost every teenager on the world, including those in the third world country of Ablehsnstan where they don't even wear clothes, suddenly smothers to death, and the remaining 8% suddenly find themselves incapable of expressing horror, fear, sadness, or anything towards the mass extermination of an entire generation, asides from crazed laughter.
So long story short: THIS SIGNATURE ANNOYS ME! I feel like it's telling me that I can either be a dead idiot or an insensitive, and probably pretentious, idiot if I'm between thirteen and nineteen!
And a similar one that annoys me (And is far more common now)...
Way, way too many Gaians signatures
If Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers were about to jump off a 10 story building, 80% of teens would be sobbing there eyes out, and 15% would be taping it while screaming "JUMP BITCHES!" Put this in your signature if your part of the 5% that would race to push them off!
HAHAHAHA ISN'T SUICIDE AND MURDER COMEDIC GOLD?!
Sure, sure, for a normal person, the emotional turmoil that would ultimately result in picking an uncertain death over the strains of day-to-day life would be a tragic and depressing story.
But not for some random Disney-channel celebrities. 'Cuz they're shallow, so fantasizing about bumping them off is perfectly healthy and normal and all it means is that you are a smart and special unique snowflakes among all those shallow morons!
Yeah... special. In a way similar to how those people who get locked up in special orange suits are 'special'.
At this point, your mouse may be hovering over the 'Post reply' button. Your finger twitches as you imagine all the reasonable, well-thought out arguments you can come up with.
Such as... GROW A FUNNY BONE YOU JUDGMENTAL BIOTCH. IT'S JUST A JOKE.
Believe it or not? I have a sense of humor and it can extend to dark places, such as suicide and genocide. But these quotes don't look funny or cute to me, just pretentious. It's like they're subtly implying that if I don't encourage them then I'm stupid, shallow, not unique, and have no sense of humor. Maybe you think they're absolutely hilarious, but I don't, for all of the reasons I've already mentioned.
Related to that... I'M JUST TAKING IT AS A JOKE. IT'S NOT LIKE I'D ACTUALLY PUSH SOMEONE OFF A BUILDING. SHEESH.
But by posting that in your signature, you are saying that you would. Remember, sarcasm is hard to detect in words unless it's over the top. So it's a little like going into a thread talking about prostitution and saying,
Hypothetical Person
I murder every single prostitute I come across if I have the opportunity, and I encourage everyone else to do so. It's alright, because they're whores, so I don't deserve to be arrested.
(Only insert 'prostitute' with 'celebrity I don't like' or 'teenager obsessed with a clothing store'.) And then when somebody gets mad at you, you tell them that you were just making a joke, sheesh.
Anyways... sorry for getting so worked up over this. I just really, really, really hate seeing these signatures everywhere.
