Have any good jokes to tell? Post them here!

I'll start off...

So, this man's wife's birthday is coming up and he's trying to figure out what to get her. He asks her what she wants and she says she wants something that goes from 0 to 300 in 2 seconds flat waiting for her in the driveway on her birthday.
At first he's not quite sure what to get her, but eventually he finds something. On her birthday, the wife asks him what he got her, " A jet? A racecar?" He says no and tells her to go look outside. She goes outside and sees a scale in the driveway.