Can Internet Dating Really Be Dangerous?
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* “On the Internet, you may not actually know who the other person is.”—Manloar, 17.*
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* “People can lie on the Internet. It’s easy to put on a front.”—Koshi, 26.*
INTERNET dating continues to grow in popularity worldwide. Internet romances may blossom quickly, but they often wither when reality sets in. Still, there is a greater cause for concern than mere disappointment. Dating in this fashion may put you in serious danger—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.
How can something that looks so innocent and safe—a computer terminal right in your own home—actually present a danger to you? Now, this is not to suggest that the entire is dishonest or that to use the Internet will make you dishonest. However, we must recognize that other people often are not honest and that as the quotations at the outset of this topic illustrate, the Internet seems to make certain kinds of dishonesty easier to practice and harder to detect. And when it comes to romantic attachments, dishonesty presents terrible dangers.
What is meant by “those who hide what they are”? Some people here would think “hypocrites.” As one reference work notes, this expression can be applied to “those who hide their purposes or designs from others, or who conceal their real character and intentions.” How is such dishonesty practiced on the Internet? And what dangers does this present to those who are looking for romance?
Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing ...?
A father named Michael was alarmed to learn at a seminar that a large proportion of children disobey parental rules against visiting dangerous Web sites.
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“What troubled me even more,” he says, “was the shocking realization that ***** can use the Internet to lure minors into debased sexual activities.”
When youths use the Internet to meet new people, they can be in far more danger than they realize...
Indeed, there have been news reports of adult sexual predators who pretend to be youths as they prowl the Internet seeking to prey on young ones. According to one study, “one-in-five kids who uses the Internet has been solicited for sex.” One newspaper also stated that 1 child in 33 between ages 10 and 17 were “aggressively stalked” through computer conversations.
Some young people have found, to their surprise, that the “youth” with whom they shared a budding romance over the Internet was actually an adult prison inmate. Other young ones have unwittingly become involved with sexual predators. These vile people first “groom” a prospective victim, building trust through friendly on-line chat. In time, though, they seek to meet in person in order to carry out their perverted desires. Tragically, young people have been beaten, raped, and even murdered as a result.
Wicked people do, indeed, “hide what they are” in order to find victims on the Internet. Anonymous communication through the Internet can make it almost impossible to see through such deception.
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“When you talk with someone in person,” says Koshi, quoted earlier, “you may learn something from his facial expressions and the tone of his voice. But on the Internet you don’t get any of that. It’s easy to be fooled.”
Wise, indeed.
Granted, not everyone you meet over the Internet is a dangerous predator. However, there are additional ways in which people “hide what they are.”
The Dangers of Deception and Secrecy
Not surprisingly, a common practice among those seeking romance on the Internet is to exaggerate or invent good traits and to minimize or conceal serious faults. Further, The Washington Post quoted an author as saying:
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“Internet dating can be bad because people get deceived.” It adds: “People often switch sexes. . . . Income levels, . . . race, criminal records, mental health histories and marital status often remain secret long into relationships.”
Will people lie about something as important as their own gender? Sadly, yes—some claim to be male/female when they are not. Why all the deception? Again, one factor is that the Internet makes it easy. A young man from Ireland named Sean admits:
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“It’s very easy to pretend to be something you’re not when you’re typing onto a computer screen.”
Many people take all this deception lightly, rationalizing that "it is only natural to lie a little bit" when embarking on a romance. Remember, though, that IT'S NOT. And for good reason. Much of the pain and misery in this world stems from lying. Dishonesty is the worst possible basis for any relationship, especially one that is intended to lead to a Offline Reality.
Sadly, some young people have fallen into another sort of dishonesty. They have pursued relationships using the Internet and have hidden the fact from their parents. For example, the parents of a teenage son were startled one day when a young woman arrived unexpectedly at their home after traveling over 1,000 miles [1,500 km]. Their son had been dating her on-line for six months, but they knew nothing about her existence until that moment!
“How could this happen?” the parents asked. They thought, ‘Our son could not possibly have fallen for someone whom he had never met in person.’ In fact, their son had been deceiving them—in effect, hiding what he really was.
Would you not agree that such deceptions are a poor foundation for dating?
Choosing the Real Over the Virtual
Internet dating may present other dangers. In some cases, an on-line friend can become more real than the people whom you see each day. Family, friends, and responsibilities become secondary. A young woman named Monika, in Austria, says:
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“I started to neglect important relationships because I spent too much time on the computer with people I only know on-line.”
When it comes to dating, there is no substitute for meeting face-to-face
Of course, many ARE able to make balanced use of the Internet. Communication by E-mail can be a very helpful way to stay in touch with friends and loved ones. Surely you would agree, though, that nothing is quite the same as face-to-face contact. If you are “past the bloom of youth”—the time when sexual desires are at their peak—and are interested in dating, you are facing one of the most important choices you will make in your life. So, by all means, make a responsible decision.
Some Advice:
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“Anyone inexperienced puts faith in every word, but the shrewd one considers his steps.”
Thanks For Reading - BE SAFE !!!
