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 Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 12:11 pm
When you're hoping for a Vee and would like to be at least friends with your lovers other lover how should you behave on that first date?
I'm asking because I found our first threeway date to be very awkward. Any advice for things to avoid and ways to break the ice? I feel like such a clutz. She didn't talk to us for a while but now she's talking with him again and I think that's great but I'm just going to avoid her for now. I like her actually and I don't want to ruin things for them- which is why I'm keeping my distance- but I don't want to alienate more girls and I'd like her to like me.
Any help here would be hot.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 4:25 pm
For me I would go into it with the mentality of hanging out. It's just like meeting a friend's friend for the first time. Sure that is always going to be a little awkward before you figure eachother out, but that eventually passes. I would go into it as though we're all friends hanging out, especially if the relationship had the potential of a V instead of a triangle. Then again, I'm not *overly* touchy/huggy with Graverg when I'm out with him, especially not if we're around other people/friends in the first place, so it may be easier for me to adjust?
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 11:56 pm
Mameoyashi For me I would go into it with the mentality of hanging out. It's just like meeting a friend's friend for the first time. Sure that is always going to be a little awkward before you figure eachother out, but that eventually passes. I would go into it as though we're all friends hanging out, especially if the relationship had the potential of a V instead of a triangle. Then again, I'm not *overly* touchy/huggy with Graverg when I'm out with him, especially not if we're around other people/friends in the first place, so it may be easier for me to adjust? Thanks. It's very difficult for me because she's a bit of a lady- and most of my friends-girls and guys alike- are very rowdy. I think I may have psyched myself out by trying too hard not to be cuddly actually. I sat on the opposite side of the table from them and tried to act more like my boyfriend's "friend" and that triggered me going into "friend hang out mode" which is not my most flattering mode. rofl My boyfriend is telling me not to worry about it so I'll just try and sit back and not let it get to me. I may be making myself worse by getting all psyched up.
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 12:52 am
You might be facing that for a long while... perhaps until you get a chance to hang out with her just by yourselves so some easier sort of basis for interaction or coexistence can be established. If you choose a place and circumstance of neutral ground you might be able to bond on different terms than your apprehensions or incompatibilities.
Until such an opportunity, I recommend not trying to be too different from how you're comfortable (which isn't the same thing as being cuddly though). Really anxiety left unchecked will lead to negative developments, and the sooner you be the real you is the sooner you two can identify and confront any issues which might develop between the two of you... that's important, and something which should beeasily enough handled with honesty and forthright communication, but not always. Overall that's just an extension of what you seem to already know: that it's better not to make problems by trying so hard not to make problems.
Do what you can to relax, and interact more when it seems like there's a good opportunity.
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 1:33 pm
I can't offer much in the way of advice on this one.
When I met Wolfie, he and his fiancee at the time (I'll call her BB) had been talking to us online and convinced us to join them for a party. He and I really hit it off and commented on the great ladies joining us (Phae and BB). Later it developed into a four way relationship, and then BB dropped out after pushing me away, and then doing the same to Wolfie.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:17 pm
From time to time I can be a little shy but after a drink (yes I'm a cheap date) I become more relaxed and chatty. On your next date together get her a long island ice tea. Don't go over board, remember you want her relaxed not passed out.
That or give her a good foot massage, how can anyone not feel relaxed after their feet have been rubbed. wink
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:58 am
It wasn't very awkward for me with Nikolaos's girlfriend so I don't really know how to help. She and I had met previously and we got along fine. We are good friends now. We have a 'v' going on and since my relationship with Nikolaos is long distance (very long distance since I moved again) and hers isn't I feel better having her with him so he isn't alone. I guess I am there for him more on an emotional, spiritual, and mental level with out any physical stuff and Marie is there for him more physically than the other stuff. I think I would be very sad if either of them left our relationship. We have a pretty good thing going on smile .
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