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 Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 6:26 pm
Hey all!
I guess this will be my little corner of the world.
Let's see...
I'm 21, from Ontario (Canada).
To sum me up in three words I'm a geek, a gamer and a writer. On my spare time I like hanging out in Gaia, tabletop gaming, reading, writing, playing video games, watching TV....
Currently I'm obsessed with Dr. Who (I've even bought BBC books for additional adventures with the Doctor XD).
Sci-fi, fantasy (urban and epic) are main genres that I like reading though right now I've been going out of my way to pick up books on polyamory and other such lifestyles (such as the Ethical Slut 2nd Ed[ which is awesome], Opening Up, Polyamory Handbook and polyamory: roadmaps for the clueless & hopeful [which I haven't read but are ordered and on the way biggrin ]
I go to anime conventions a lot and cosplay with my wonderful Graverg and great friends of ours.
I am a part-time university student in a Classical Studies program, and I would also be part-time working except for a back injury that is flaring up and preventing me from getting a job ;.; Oh well.
So I've been spending my time promoting, educating and discussing polyamory. I've been going around on websites and things but I am debating starting a support group or gathering in my area as there is nothing even close to here. *shrugs* But that's still a maybe, if I can garner up enough interest.
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Posted: Mon May 11, 2009 6:27 pm
Well, looking back I can classify moments in my child/teen years that would indicate my capability of loving more than one person. though at the time I was wracked with guilt and thoughts that I just didn't know what 'real' love was if I seemingly loved two people or was interested in having more than one partner.
I felt very restricted because I wanted to express my love for more than one person but couldn't. I participated in moments of serial monogamy that nearly tore me apart (the weight of having to chose and hurting the person who wasn't chosen...when I genuinely loved and cared for them both).
After a rocky LDR I found myself single for a time. But me and Graverg were good friends and getting closer all the time. We were talking about jealousy and possessiveness in relationships and realised that neither of us subscribed to that at all. We talked about a lot of stuff like sex being just fun, the importance and the 'specialness' of it being in the eye of the beholder. We agree that it always feels better to have the deep emotional connection as partners, but that never meant that anything else wasn't fun. So we started about 3.5 years ago as a swinging sort of relationship.
A little over 8-9 months ago I realised that I had fallen in love with a couple of good friends of ours, who we have both known for years. I was once again dealing with guilty emotions. I really love and am committed to Graverg, but now I have feelings for... two other people? Who I love more than just friends?
Well I kept it mostly to myself for awhile, thinking it was just a crush or I was confusing my platonic love for them with something... different. When W and I had a really deep talk one night we were hanging out while Graverg was out of town and M had gone to sleep (the conversation started light and fun...making fun of the old movie...err.. Puma man or something like that XD) into the sort of relationship talks me and Graverg had before we were together. It eventually came out that W was having feelings for me as well, and M was confused and thinking she may like me (though she was struggling with these feelings thinking they may just be a little crush or a bi-curious phase as she hasn't branched out much in that aspect).
It ended up with me doing a lot of research of polyamory, coming to terms with myself, going into groups and expanding my horizons while looking back on life and seeing how the philosophy of loving more actually fit into my life all along. I've talked to Graverg about it and while he was/is still unsure how the logistics would work out for anything long-term, but we're working through these things as they come up and as they apply to us. The theoretical issue of living together (which is a lot more complicated than it sounds because us and they have a full house of animals as it is), raising children, ect are being thought and talked about but is mostly going to be dealt with as the issues seem like they could be a reality.
As I've said before we're still talking with M and W and discussing feelings and boundries... so all that stuff even presumes we get into a full fledged relationship. But once more, I'm hopeful.
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Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 7:23 pm
Okay, okay, so.
Star Trek. It was.... well... ********. Yes I know there have been some mixed reviews. I've heard people who hate it, I've heard people who love it and... well... let's just say this Trekkie is quite pleased. I am so phenomonally blown away by the awesome that was this movie. Sorry to go all omg fandom but I'm on quite the high right now XD
It was pretty, it was dramatic, it was emotional and it had ALL classic elements mixed quite nicely. (With a couple of classic quotes that came out forced, but that was to be expected). The casting was excellent. Sure I had a couple of Sylar moments where I heard clocks ticking in the back of my head, but honestly it didn't detract from the awesome-ness that is Spock.
Besides a couple of scenes I kind of was like 'wtf?' over, and a little budding romance that just didn't make sense to my head.... it was done very very well.
I'm glad that they took the opportunity to EXPLAIN THEIR OWN RESET BUTTON! Yes I know some Trekkies would say this is a bad thing, and that cannon should be upheld. But honestly it was hard to manuver in the cannon universe as everything had either already been done or would go against established cannon. This was a great reset and I am looking forward to the continuation of the new universe. The thing I'm most excited for? Well, even ten minutes ago I probably would have said "Klingons" but... that's not even the truth of it.... Cardassians. They were s underplayed (or rather overlooked) by a lot of fans and series. So I'm psyched.
So...yes. :3 Star Trek.
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 12:29 pm
Sick today sad Not like yesterday.
I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. ;.;
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 9:02 am
Mameoyashi So I've been spending my time promoting, educating and discussing polyamory. I've been going around on websites and things but I am debating starting a support group or gathering in my area as there is nothing even close to here. *shrugs* But that's still a maybe, if I can garner up enough interest. I think that's a wonderful idea. The closest one I found was in san fran. If you're near me I'd join.
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 8:59 pm
I'm probably a long ways away if the closest to you is in San Fran, Frostie XD
But OMG!
Anime North this weekend, I'm so excited ^_^ THe best part about it is that I'm going to go to a ball <3s Graverg bought us tickets to a moonlight ball which is awesome and fun and a little romantic of him XD Even though it's just something at an anime convention's ball, it's still really nice smile
Got meself a nice new dress and everything 8D Though I'm not much for dresses and fancy stuff, I'm actually excited about this for some reason smile
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 9:17 pm
I'm happy for you. Much fun at an anime ball.
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Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 10:29 am
Soooooo Anime North was *amazing* I had so much fun. As per usual I didn't get out to any panels, which is sort of a bummer. But then again most of the panels I wanted to go to were all at the same time, so I'd be missing out on what I really wanted to do either way. For the most part we were hanging out with a bunch of friends, costuming, dressing up (I was in a suit and tie most of the weekend, even when I didn't have the extra things [wig, gloves, glasses, teeth] to make it a cosplay), going to the ball for dancing and fun. Oh a swimming with waterslides 8D
smile
I'm very very very broken, my back is flaring up like crazy and I'm sore all over as well. I believe i had a bit of an anxiety attack Friday night as well.... But... honestly I'm content. I had a lot of fun, I hung out with awesome friends, and I took a bunch of pictures. It wasn't *all* fun, but enough of it was fun and the degree of funness far outweighs the bad parts smile
Blarg, but now I go to sleep and recover and hopefully weasel a massage out of Graverg X3
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:58 am
Things have been all at once busy and slow for me lately. I've got a lot more responsibilities and things to do now, but I've also been pretty inactive when it comes to stuff around the house. Back's been bothering me quite a bit, and forthe last two days my calves decided to join the party and for the last couple of days I've hardly been able to walk, and stairs are a b***h (which sucks having over 21 stairs to go up and down between the main floor (kitchen, door to outside), the second floor (living room/computer room) and the top floor (bathroom and bedroom) ;.; Let's not even get started on the additional 9 steps to get down to the basement for laundry--so regardless with 30 stairs and my back/legs messing up... I'm not getting laundry done soon D: Glad I just did it the other day befor things got really bad <.<;
But hey! I applied for a job at a game store that's opening up near my house- so hopefully that turns out alright smile (granted I applied for numerous jobs around the area, I just really am excited for the game store job XD, cuz I'm a geek like that ).
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 9:53 am
Hey everyone! Just letting you know I'll probably be out of commission posting here for a little while. I've run across a bit of computer troubles and while I can snag my parents computer for a little while a day while I am visiting them, no gaurentee on how long I'll be able to be online or if I'll be able to get to the thread or the guild to post. <3s though. I'll be back soon smile
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:07 pm
AH Graverg's gone so I'm alone for the week sad Going to have to manage, I suppose. I don't know why I'm fine for the last few and the first couple of days, but the day he leaves and about the middle day he's gone I get hit pretty hard with some loneliness. Ah well. I've got Muirgen to keep me company at least.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:24 pm
Personal updates don't seem to come very well for me. Lol. I figure other people would have better luck with personal threads than me but I figured I'd attempt a thread myself, didn't quite work well though. Ah well, posting now. So much has happened, hard to update really. I guess if people want updatish things from me it would be a good plan to check out http://twitter.com/mameoyashi. I've joined to keep in touch with a friend, but I'm getting the hang of it. Though I complain about not being wordy enough in that direction I find it easier to keep updates than journal posts. Well, that and I put updates regularly on the poly 102 thread to help keep it bumped XD I have to figure out a way to keep the thread bumped and this guild active. Hm.
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Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 2:24 pm
Let's see, life has been pretty damn busy lately. Unfortunately busy in that 'gwar I'm going to stress you out and keep your brain going so you can't sleep, and when you *do* end up sleeping it'll be fitful and restless D : < " kinda way so things have been rough for me lately.
Other than that, it seems Graverg has more a renewed interest in dating and such and has been trying harder to find someone, but sadly the prospects are minimal and he's getting a bit frustrated with the search. Now that he's decided what he really wants in a relationship he hoped that finding would be an easier part. Of course, unfortunately, this hasn't been the case. Likewise my search has ground to a halt also.
Ah well. Why can't I ever have happy news to update with? XD But it's all good. Generally when I update it's just in a talkative sense rather than anything that's a bit deal, mainly just writing to get stuff out of my head for a bit.
Life is doing okay, and because of the stress factors of what's going on Graverg and I have actually been closer together than ever, so that's a silver lining to it.
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Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:31 am
Just because you disrespect my decisions doesn't mean I'm lacking in self-respect. I respect myself very much, being okay with my partner sleeping with other people does not mean that I lack respect for myself. I wish people would stop projecting.
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Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:55 pm
So... Muirgen, my cat, died yesterday. She wasn't old, she was only about two years old, ish. She had heart problems and a blood clot- which was in her heart bu she ended up throwing it to her brain. Cut off the oxygen to her brain. We rushed her to the emergency vet clinic, because no other place was open and it was like twenty minutes to get there. She got there...but there was nothing they could do... On the plus side, she went on her own. She wouldn't have wanted us to put her down and she got to go away from me and Graverg, which given that she was trying to sneak out and away all day and was hiding under some furniture when she yowled the first time. So she got to go when she was in another room, which was good enough. It hurts so much, I don't really know what to say about it. Just trying to cope, posting, watching comedy acts, just trying to keep my mind off of how empty the house feels. I love you baby cat... You left too soon, but you lived such a full life. You were brilliant, love, never forget that. 
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