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 Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:24 pm
so, you find out that your best friend of 10 years is capable of lying to you, you find out that they lied to you about alot of stuff.. but mainly small lies, which don't really have an effect on anything..
but if your friend can lie to you about small stuff?? doesn't that mean that they can lie about pretty much anything??
would you forgive a "best friend" if they lied to you alot.. so much in fact that you don't really know who they are anymore?? can a person so untrustworthy be welcomed back into your life?? maybe not straight away.. but with time??
wht do you think??
can a person who you loved like a sibling, who turns out to be a fake person, hidden by lies be trusted??
is a liar always a liar??
xX
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 4:24 am
it depends on what they lied about. I mean, everyone lies every now and then.. from small little white lies regarding their opinion, to big-deal lies. I try to be as honest as I can, but I'm not perfect either. no one is.
just because someone has lied about something small doesnt necessarily mean they're a false-friend or that they'd lie to you about EVERYthing. now, I dont know what this particular friend lied to you about, so it really would be up to you to decide.
personally, I'm very sparing with the word 'friend'. not everyone I know or hang out with from time to time would I consider a 'friend'. most people I know are merely acquaintances. that's because I do take the word 'friend' rather seriously.
I had a friend all throughout growing up who lied, cheated, and stole from me, our other friends, even her family. at a certain point, I cut her out of my life. but when I grew older, I let her back in a little, but we've never EVER been that close again. now she's in PA and I'm in TN and I never see her and very rarely hear from her. I'm friendly to her, and would help her in times of trouble (to an extent) only because of the long history we share. I know she hasnt changed, but she's not in my everyday life anymore and cannot affect it, so I can afford to be nice to her.
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 4:04 pm
I have immense faith in the good in people, so I will never say that a liar now will always be a liar. People change, and many people who constantly do "bad" things make a 180 and come out for the better.
The question is more in how willing someone is to forgive someone who has hurt them. I will not tolerate deceit on a large scale, and I will inevitably separate myself from someone who is not a true friend but tries to pretend like he is. I will still be the best friend I can be to him, but I will not seriously invest myself emotionally in someone who does not act like who they say they are.
I have a very, very close friend who recently abandoned all of his friends for a girlfriend. He is letting her control every moment of his life, and lives with this girl and her mother. She is not faithful to him (not that she has cheated on him, but she makes it obvious that she likes, or even loves, other people), and she left her boyfriend of 4 years for him, treating her old boyfriend like utter crap the last few months they dated. At first I wanted to blame only her, but after a while I realised that everything that has happened has been that way because my friend allowed it to happen. If he were to return someday, sincerely sorry, I would accept him with open arms. I don't think that will happen any time soon, so in the mean time I'm not bothering with it.
Basically, don't hurt yourself for someone who will treat you horribly, but I think it's good to honor the friendship you once had should they make a change.
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