About El~

[Elros Namasi]

Well, I talked to them and I feel better for it (like I knew I would). It's just really hard to speak up when you're so used to doing the exact opposite. ><;;  

[Elros Namasi]

Back to the old grindstone with schooling and whatnot. At least my teachers have been pretty nice so far and the stress over academia hasn't kicked in yet. Only a matter of time, though...  

[Elros Namasi]

Whew. Been awhile since I last posted but RL has been keeping me busy between school and trying to make some kind of sense out of my relationships. Hasn't been easy and there are still bugs. For example: lately, there's been a complete lack of the physical with my girlfriend and my boyfriend. Sure, I get kisses and hugs, the occasional cuddle on the couch, but nothing more than that and it's been driving me nuts because my crazy voice takes that and twists it to mean "They'll tolerate your company but they don't want you and that's obviously because you're unattractive" -.-;;;  

[M00nbat]

Elros Namasi

Whew. Been awhile since I last posted but RL has been keeping me busy between school and trying to make some kind of sense out of my relationships. Hasn't been easy and there are still bugs. For example: lately, there's been a complete lack of the physical with my girlfriend and my boyfriend. Sure, I get kisses and hugs, the occasional cuddle on the couch, but nothing more than that and it's been driving me nuts because my crazy voice takes that and twists it to mean "They'll tolerate your company but they don't want you and that's obviously because you're unattractive" -.-;;;

Well, glad to see you still dropping in, El. Keeping busy is good too.

As for that voice in your head that is bothering you, how about talking to your partners about your physical needs? I might be a bit off base about suggesting a direct approach (especially considering I'm quite shy myself) but it's worth a shot.  

[Elros Namasi]

Saew

Well, glad to see you still dropping in, El. Keeping busy is good too.

As for that voice in your head that is bothering you, how about talking to your partners about your physical needs? I might be a bit off base about suggesting a direct approach (especially considering I'm quite shy myself) but it's worth a shot.

I'm kind of afraid to bring it up, actually, because the subject has caused trouble before. It's come up in arguments that I'm too focused on the physical. Granted, it was said in the heat of the moment without stopping to think first and later apologized for but the point remains the same. I would rather avoid the drama. But, in the meantime, I'm stuck in an infinite loop. u.u  

[Elros Namasi]

Wow, it's been such an incredibly long time since I last posted, here specifically and on Gaia generally.

So, some updates, I guess.

Shortly after my last post in this thread, my polycule exploded.

Turned out that Think just wanted a trophy and liked the idea that other people found me sexually attractive. He had more of a swinger outlook, but I had to abide by his rules (which he often did not express to me until I had already broken them). After we broke up, he tried for a fwb arrangement and I told him to piss off which prompted him to stalk me irl at school (I was going to the same community college as him at the time). He made some overtures of friendship, but eventually just ghosted everyone and moved to a different state.

DS just wanted a harem to pick and choose from at her whim. She's the one who accused me of "being too focused on the physical". Later, she outright called me a slut and explicitly stated I was a pig for Mouse to rut with. She didn't want her harem "rutting" with each other; only her. About a year after the big break-up (January 2013), I reconnected with Mouse. To punish me, DS proceeded to e-stalk me for several years. I still have the occasional nightmare about her.

Mouse and I, however, have been going strong for almost 8 years, now. We'll hit that 8 year mark in February 2021. Around April last year, we stumbled into a long distance triad. She (M) was upfront from the beginning that she had a boyfriend and was very vocal about being poly. The relationship formed organically and was really wonderful for about six months. At the beginning of this year, though, M withdrew and stopped all displays of affection. I confronted her about it and her explanation was such bs. "I painted myself into a corner and found out that my bf isn't as poly as I am so I'll have to be more careful." Translation: my bf doesn't know about you and Mouse and would consider my interactions with you as cheating. We told her we still wanted a relationship with her and were willing to try and work through it. She ghosted us because the situation she created was "too difficult and confusing to deal with". This was around the first week of May this year; M has not reached out since then.

So yeah, wild. Anyway, since I'm hardly ever around on Gaia, if anyone wants to contact me:

Discord: Elros#2035
Insta: @pikameowmeow534