• There’s just something about this time
    When I just sit here and think.
    But everyday
    Any day
    I think on only one thing
    I do so much to prevent this
    So much to try to stop
    Distract
    Destroy said thoughts
    Before they become too much
    To heavy
    Before they make me find that hasty exit
    But I’m losing the will to fight it
    I would rather find that faded red sign then sit here and cry
    I would rather open that exit and fling myself over the edge
    Then remember one more day
    One more memory
    I find I enjoy my friends.
    For they help with the distraction.
    He who cuts me with his words
    And bleeds away the pain
    If only for a moment he helps in some way
    She who numbs me to the core
    Drowning me
    Clouding my mind
    If only for a moment
    Before the ocean dries up
    And I’m left to think once more.
    They help stop the shaking
    From loss of sustenance one once said
    They help halt the thoughts
    If only for a moment
    A brief reprieve
    I don’t cry
    Or I cry even more
    I can’t stop them
    They plague me
    Sometimes I stay up and wonder
    Will she let me be?
    I try not to let my eyes close
    Memories haunt what used to be dreams.
    End up waking and just laying there
    Waiting
    Hoping
    Just wishing that in this darkness
    I can find the cliff
    Find anything
    So I can throw myself off
    And stop all this thinking