• it has been some time since the FIRE but our records are back and everything is now running smooth…So to the complete and utter horror of a once peaceful world The Sidetrack City Holding Co. IS BACK!!! (NO PLEASE SAY IT'S NOT TRUE!!!)...

    In this case study the disturbed Dr. Emil Furtado visits the Reverend's neighbours to see what it is really like living next to that PSYCHO the results shocked even him…


    1. A car accidentally hits the garbage can and the bloody, partially eaten remains of FIVE HUMAN BODIES spills onto the street!

    2. Every Monday he circles 13 chairs in the front yard and drinks super strong Steel Reserve 211 beer while loudly talking to his Invisible Guests…the most disturbing part THEY ANSWER BACK!!

    3. He is seen coming out of a large hole in the backyard, when asked about the intense heat, sickening fumes and the agonized screams coming from deep within he smiles and simply answers…BAD PLUMBING!

    4. Fridays he comes home from the COUNTY MORGUE with a date…Romantically he carries her lifeless body inside, rose clenched in her cold, locked jaw (AWWW HOW ROMANTIC)

    5. Every Tuesday he holds BLACK MASS in the front yard! (For Dee)

    6. One night all of the cats and dogs of the neighbourhood mysteriously vanish…the next day he throws a huge block party! (GUESS THE MEAT!)

    7. Strange government looking MEN IN BLACK are seen poking around the property every time he leaves…

    8. Whenever Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons or some other door to door religious type comes knocking he warmly invites them inside…THEY ARE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN!!!

    9. He has a yard sale that consists of MIDEVAL STYLE TORTURE DEVICES AND SNUFF FILMS…Surprisingly everything sells!

    10. He routinely answers the door IN FULL DRAG! (Yes he is so sexy in a corset and fishnets)

    11. He occasionally goes out to the porch dressed like a demented version of Mr. Rogers smoking marijuana asking passing children "You wanna get high, this s**t will get you ******** UP!"

    12. Every Thursday a strange black van pulls up in the driveway at 2am…the next day another missing child is discovered!

    13. Alright everybody SING IT WITH ME!! "It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood (UNEXPLAINED MURDERS) It's a beautiful day in my neighbourhood (STRANGE FIRES) Won't you (MISSING CHILDREN) Could you (BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMS) Be my NEIGHBOUR?