You did it, I know

• Artist: EvangelineMiss
• Description: My boyfriend got my best friend pregnant, read and comment THX!!
• Date: 09/17/2009
• Tags: love pregnant boys pero

I screamed at you
I wanted to kill you
I kissed you
I made out with you
I loved you

I trusted you with my heart
I would have kissed you every day
Put then it hit me, like a dart
You slept with May
You satisfed your needs
You put a dagger through my chest
You plead
You said you tried your best
I know you lie
I know you wanted to
So now I say goodbye
And ******** you

Comments

[Peaceful Hermit]

Finally, I want to tell you to avoid the child's life. Your bitterness shouldn't shade a child's delight in this cruel world. Adults who shun others for other adults' mistakes are being excessively cruel. Have you ever read Harry Potter? Would you ever want to be Harry's adoptive mother? No.

[Peaceful Hermit]

Very nice, iPerogie. I have rated this poem a 3/5 because your stanzas were in disarray. You gained three points for your flow, voice, and emotion. I took off two points for your lack of uniqueness and unorganized stanzas.

You can improve by separating ideas into stanzas to keep order. Sometimes your voice is lost within the second stanza, and the reader isn't sure what you're talking about. Be consist in your stanza pattern if you're going to use them.

[Noodle Ton]

o.o I'm sorry. I know that must have hurt. That boys a douche bag for treating you that way! 5/5

[kawaii-frendz]

omg is it really true...i feel sad for you...4/5