There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I am a bit of a s**t
But think of the money I save".
There once was a man from Bel Air,
Who was doing his girl on the stair.
When the banister broke,
He doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.
The once was a young girl from Norway
Who hung by her feet from the doorway;
Which worked out quite well,
'Cause when you rang her bell,
It actually turned out to be foreplay!
In anything written by Dickens,
It's certain the plot always thickens;
With characters, themes
And digressions it teems;
As for sex, though, it's mighty slim pickin's.
in the garden of eden lay Adam
gently stroking his madam,
and great was his mirth
for on all of this earth
there were only two balls and he had 'em!
An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
Said Sex is one thing I do know
Women are fine
And sheep are divine
But llamas are numero uno!
next is a big one
There once were two young girls from Birmingham
I knew a wild story concerning 'em
They lifted the frock
And diddled the c**k
Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em
Now the Bishop was nobody's fool,
He'd been to a fine public school
He lowered his britches
And ******** both those bitches
With his twelve-inch Episcopal tool.
But that didn't startle these two,
Why they laughed as the Bishop withdrew,
The Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And longer and stronger than you!
Here's a couple more that I think are funny!
There once was a man from Bombay
Who fashioned a c**t out of clay
But the heat from his p***k
Turned the damn thing to brick
And it ripped all his foreskin away.
There once was a vampire from France
Who couldn't keep it tucked in his pants
He oft whipped it out
With a vampiric shout
And taught poor Louis how to dance.
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