• There was a man called Dave
    Who kept a dead whore in a cave
    He said "I admit
    I am a bit of a s**t
    But think of the money I save".

    There once was a man from Bel Air,
    Who was doing his girl on the stair.
    When the banister broke,
    He doubled his stroke,
    And finished her off in mid-air.

    The once was a young girl from Norway
    Who hung by her feet from the doorway;
    Which worked out quite well,
    'Cause when you rang her bell,
    It actually turned out to be foreplay!

    In anything written by Dickens,
    It's certain the plot always thickens;
    With characters, themes
    And digressions it teems;
    As for sex, though, it's mighty slim pickin's.

    in the garden of eden lay Adam
    gently stroking his madam,
    and great was his mirth
    for on all of this earth
    there were only two balls and he had 'em!

    An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno
    Said Sex is one thing I do know
    Women are fine
    And sheep are divine
    But llamas are numero uno!

    next is a big one

    There once were two young girls from Birmingham
    I knew a wild story concerning 'em
    They lifted the frock
    And diddled the c**k
    Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em

    Now the Bishop was nobody's fool,
    He'd been to a fine public school
    He lowered his britches
    And ******** both those bitches
    With his twelve-inch Episcopal tool.

    But that didn't startle these two,
    Why they laughed as the Bishop withdrew,
    The Vicar is quicker
    And thicker and slicker
    And longer and stronger than you!

    Here's a couple more that I think are funny!

    There once was a man from Bombay
    Who fashioned a c**t out of clay
    But the heat from his p***k
    Turned the damn thing to brick
    And it ripped all his foreskin away.

    There once was a vampire from France
    Who couldn't keep it tucked in his pants
    He oft whipped it out
    With a vampiric shout
    And taught poor Louis how to dance.