Can't Forget

• Artist: I Am Your Insanity
• Description: I wrote this for English class. I suck at writing poetry... so yeah...
  This has nothing to do with anything that ever happened in my life
  I just kinda thought of the words imagining I was someone else
• Date: 05/27/2009
• Tags: cant forget

I reread your last letter
And it doesn't make me feel any better

I look back at the past
And think those times went by to fast

I look at those last days
Before we went our separate ways

You chose to say goodbye
And that made me cry

I was not prepared
And I don't even know if you ever cared

It broke my heart
And that's not even the worst part

I need to get this off my chest
And I want to leave out all the rest

But if I forget
Then I'll start to regret

I'm in a lot of pain
And you were always so vain

I can't believe you left me like that
And now I want to whack you with a bat

Comments

[muniarc]

It's good, but I think you should try longer stanzas. Maybe an ABAB format. Keep on writing!

[Konan of the Akatsuki13]

Very good. Choppy, yes, but seeing how it is a sort of love poem I'm guessing, it has potetial. You know, Shakespeare used rhyming couplets to refer to love.

[Drunken Aunt Coral]

The last line made me laugh. I threatend a guy once with a bat...We were playing soft ball and he kept hitting me with it so I threatend to chase him down with it. Any how....It is a bit choppy but has potential to be a great poem.

[Inyuashi 23]

Also, one more thing lol..I know how it is to rush a poem lol...I'm a procrastinator myself...
I just love writing though, if you continue to write, best of luck to you, if you don't...At the very least enjoy reading poetry or stories or what not, there's always something out there a person will like in them.

[Inyuashi 23]

Staccato, that's my thoughts on it...The piece is chopped up, you just need to connect them with segments that flow into each other...The subject you use is good and the lines that you use are also decent, but what makes a poem great is typically a person can make something from it, a person can relate to it and catch the feel from it and for that to happy, it typically has to flow together...Overall...3/5

[I Am Your Insanity]

yeah, pretty much...
well, when you do it the night before the assignment is due of course that's what i did, with a little help from one of my friends...

[Spicesayy]

no offence..it sounds like ur just putting words that rhyme at the end of sentinces.....idk..its not bad if this was ur 1st try...but...idk...just doesnt sound right to me...thats all...im not the master at rhymeing eather(just look at my poums)...but...idk