Be back soon... I hope

• Artist: Princess Ballet Tutu
• Description: I wrote this just now. All of my poems are a spur of the moment thing.... I sorta like this one though... please give me advice on getting better maybe?? Rate and comment, Thanks! :D
• Date: 03/26/2009
• Tags: back soon hope

Here i go once again,
to this little hell of mine.
Come down from the high
I fall so far.
I'll tell you when i'm human again
Be back soon... I hope.

I'm here and I'm nothing...
No emotion....
But deep sadness instead,
This place is hell...
Dunno what or where it is.
But i'll tell you when i'm human again...
Be back soon... I hope.

Comments

[Princess Ballet Tutu]

ShLe thank you! That is a better idea, thanks I will take your advice!

[The Classical Maestro]

I think instead of practicing repetition when at the end of both stanza or w/e it says Be back soon I hope it should be more like first one says Be back soon...
and the scond one completes the thought saying be bakc soon...I hope.
like so...
XXXX
XX
XXX
Be back soon...

xxxxxx
xxx
XXXX
Be back soon...I hope.

Overall it was alright 3/5

[Ms Make Me Smile]

ook heres a long detailed comment first of all i thought it was good but you need to elaborate a bit and make it longer. i like the title but i think its a bit vague so basicallly elaborate and make it longer but i still liked it though i am getting increasingly worried about you whats up? 5/5 not just because your my friend