• There are so many times where I believe I’d be better off without you – that if I could get away from you, somehow manage escape you, that everything would magically get better.

    Because you want so much of me, I’m trapped and alone, fending my own battle – a battle I can’t win.

    You want me to be something I’m not.
    You desire me to be more like others.
    You beleaguer me to make a change.
    You pester me to be better than this.

    But the reality is that I can’t.

    But I know you don’t want this for me - you want this for you. Because of me, you’re disheartened and alone in a dark little corner of empty promises.

    You want me to change so your life can be better.
    You can’t stand the fact that, because of me, you’re paranoid about having friends.
    You’re so emotionally battered that whenever you make a friend, you already barricade yourself from them, so that when they leave you, the pain is less.

    That’s right: When they leave you. Not if they leave you. “If” means nothing to you when it comes to friends. Your reality of “friends” is no one else’s reality. A friend, to you, is someone who’s there for you while it’s beneficial to them, but otherwise a deserter.

    Instead of blaming me, blame yourself for letting me become this. You never pointed out that the path I was taking would lead to your inevitable breakdown. You never tried to stop me from becoming who I am.

    It’s your fault, not mine!

    I can’t change, I just can’t. I won’t, and I can’t.
    So stop looking at me like that. Stop!

    Can’t I ever once look in the mirror without that hating scowl glaring back at me?!