• Grinning boasting Barbie doll
    Eyes glazed over, waist too small,
    You’re so shallow, so dull and bland
    Perhaps if we snipped of this blonde strand
    Or all your hair, for fun and frolic,
    You’d be as droll as an alcoholic!

    We’ll leave a braid in the middle, of course,
    Paint it green and feel no remorse.
    Let’s staple the end to make it stay,
    Burn the tip- the pyro way,
    Dip in wax and paint it black,
    But why finish now our happy act?

    Your eyes we must turn red;
    Red like corpses ris’n from the dead
    Your lips have need of a darker stain.
    Blue lipstick: the truest sign of brains!
    Add a dribble of ruby blood,
    Paint a face white that was tanned as mud.

    Oh, what a pristine angelic face.
    Of stupidity and greed there now is no trace.
    But, oh Barbie- the rest of you;
    You look as though you have no clue.
    Let’s rip off that tacky, silly dress,
    Grab a few needles to re-stitch this mess.

    We’ll sew a special outfit now,
    Careful to poke you, hideous cow!
    Here’s a fabric with smiley faces;
    When fixed into skulls, who now traces
    That I could steal from mommy’s scraps
    And make a dress Style’s never tapped?

    We’ll cut off an arm for good measure.
    Stick thing into your head? My pleasure!
    Make a slit and shove it in
    And impale it with a safety pin,
    Then throw you to my begging dog
    To cradle you with her piercing claws.

    How magnificently you have been improved.
    Now a perfect fury, not mocking and rude.
    Aren’t we all so content after this
    So frozen within our destructive bliss?
    Tomorrow we’ll melt you in a great bonfire
    Dear, sweet Barbie, it’s time to retire.