light up, burn down

• Artist: tiakat333
• Description: Random thing I wrote for class that I'm still not sure if I like... You can comment but I'm not really down for insults.
• Date: 12/25/2008
• Tags: light burn down

The whole damn world is on fire. Light me up, she said, and he ran his thumb across the tiny gear. The flame sparked and she inhaled deeply. She coughed, not used to the intensity of the heat between her lips. It was her own personal rebellion against her body, her lips, her tongue. She was a masochist but she loved it. It went on and on and the world didn't change, and neither did she. She had never been a creative person but right now she needed it most. She continues to die as she'd done since she started that day years ago when she first tried it. As her lungs fill up with smoke so does her mind. She is the world, in all it's wretched glory. The smoke spirals out her nose, out the chimneys and into the world to pollute another. Soon they would all be enslaved to these demons and her cracked lips would draw in one last ragged breath. She finished her final cigarette as the world around her collapsed.

Comments

[Nisa the Brown Nose Clown]

I liked this better then the running entry for some reason. This one is more deep, has more feeling. I liked it.
5/5

[DiamondWings 23]

At first, i was really lost.
But when I read the end, I was so amazed!
Good job, I really like your writing ;]

[Gravetye]

Very nice. Deep. I really like "It was her own personal rebellion against her body, her lips, her tongue," and "She is the world, in all its wretched glory. The smoke spirals out her nose, out the chimneys and into the world to pollute another." 5/5

[emidang]

I like it. I like how it conjures up images in your mind while reading.

[tiakat333]

haha yeah, i'll check out your writing now.

btw - to everyone reading this, it's not really about smoking in the way that's it's NOT some sort of psa. it shouldn't really go either way with smoking, because it's more about the state of the world than anything else.

[GoldenServent612]

P.S. um... i'm saying this stuff for the truth and I really love it. Its fantastic, but um... u'll check out my story right? Pleaeaeaease? I'll be ur bestest buddy! if you do,I'll thanx u a lot!

[GoldenServent612]

I like it a lot. That'll probably teach ppl wat happens after smoking. It's really kool! 10/10 keep up the good work and keep writing. I'm looking foward to reading more of ur writing.