• I’m crying right now and I don't know why,
    I suppose it's because of some respecter in my brain telling me I’m sad and disappointed even though I knew this was going to happen all along,
    I hate this all so much and I don’t know why,
    I can't stop this and yet it's weird,
    I always read about how people say their hearts hurts when things like this happen,
    Well I can safely say my heart doesn't hurt,
    It's my brain that does,
    It's my logical, depressing, respecter, hormone, and chemical filled brain of mine that hurts me at this moment,
    Not the pumping organ in my chest,
    It's my head not my heart. I think it's because the 'heart' ideal doesn't really exist,
    I already knew that but still I’m sad and I don't know why,
    I’m angry and I don't know why,
    I’m crying and I don't know why,
    I hate this all, this knowledge I have never really learned but always knew,
    This knowing that the heart is nothing more than an organ,
    I hate this so much it's hard to describe,
    It hurts a lot,
    My head does,
    It feels like a severe headache coming on only different,
    It starts at the right side of my head and feels like it’s dripping down to over my eye
    It hurts like a headache only so much worse in a way like a wave of sadness
    The feeling is a respecter in my brain I know, it’s a chemical or a hormone or just how my brain is wired,
    I don’t know really,
    I’m not smart enough to figure it out,
    Salty droplets that are made up of water and sodium are leaking from my eyes,
    I can’t explain them really other than, they are hot from my body temperature
    They run like water from my eyes easily,
    They fall down my cheeks making them sticky,
    My cheeks turn hot from my tears and the blood flowing close to the surface
    Making them flush brightly red
    The tears come in rounds,
    They fall and stop and fall and stop,
    It’s constant and expected but the triggers that lead to these rounds are always different,
    They make this sick game twisted even more,
    I don’t understand this at all,
    I don’t understand how something so simple as the word ‘like’ could be so difficult
    I don’t understand how it could become so confusing,
    It started out as one color, solid and strong, then more colors arrived and swirled and mixed together,
    Now there’s millions of colors and their all swirling around, mixing, changing too fast for me to keep up
    I’m spinning around to try and catch the colors and I’m getting dizzy
    I was falling before I even knew it,
    I hit the ground hard and I couldn’t get back up again
    It was like I was being tied down with invisible chains holding me down
    The sky isn’t blue or gray or black, it’s not filled with stars or clouds
    It’s brown and filled with a layer of dead grass and fall colored leaves,
    I’m tied to the sky and the ground is falling onto of me,
    It feels like the weight of a million tons is crushing down on me at once,
    The pressure forces the breath out of my lungs and makes my limb’s immobilized as the chains disappear
    My world flips and the ground is now a vast ocean that is suffocating me, drowning me, swallowing me whole,
    The water though isn’t filled with salt but sodium and I know it’s my tears I’ve cried all this time,
    Their heavy and hard to swim through it feels like engine sludge as I try to move through it
    My body grows tired soon and the ocean of tears is vast only a small rock is in my sights,
    My arms clutch the rock for dear life as a storm brews high above me,
    Large waves crash down on me, crushing me, trying to rip me off the rock and throw me back into the ocean to drown me,
    My grip slips only alittle but enough for the waves to push my off my sanctuary and into the tear sea.
    My breath leaves me, my eyes close, my body goes lax, I don’t even struggle as the sea claims another victim,
    Suddenly it’s all washed away in an instant and I’m back lying on the ground, my eyes leaking a salty sodium and water mix.
    My body is tired even though I haven’t gone anywhere.
    All I’ve done is sit here and cry my eyes out for not logical reason other than some respecter, some chemical, something is my brain told me I was sad.
    He told me he wasn’t interested and this is what happened to me,
    It started out as a simple crush and built up speed too fast to be controlled, I crashed hard and painfully when he told me he didn’t want anything to do with me,
    I shouldn’t feel anything for a person who hates me,
    So that’s why I’m saying this,
    I’m crying right now and I don’t know why.