Hi, I’m Mamo the Alien. I live on the planet Sherbinoil. I have white skin, two antennas, one eye (which isn’t as big as you think), one nose, one mouth, and two arms and legs. I have a mother, Cleminamo, a father, Grubamo, and two brothers, Namo and Bamo. Every single one of them thinks I can’t go on a mission! My brothers tease me about it! My mother says I’m not old enough, how foolish. I may be the youngest in my family but I’m not so young that I can’t go on a mission! My father says “When you’re as old as your brothers now!” I’m so sick of it! Well, I’ll show them! I’ll go on a mission, bring back humans, and be respected by everyone! I will do it, I can do it! So, on this very night, I packed my things, got the ship ready, and left. Now, I’m on the mission. I’m excited, scared, and nervous! All at the same time. I’m watching all the planets go by, so colorful! Finally, I’m here on Earth! Earth has lots to do! Also, so many humans that we can do tests on. I think I will take one boy, one girl, one man, and one woman! It’s the perfect plan, except how am I going to trap them? Hmmmm, I could, no that wouldn’t work! I got it, I’ll wait ‘til they’re asleep and shove them in a bag! Then I’ll go back on the ship and go home. The only bag I have is a bag that says T-A-R-G-E-T! I found it on the ground. I’m going to need a bigger bag. Make that, bags! I’ve done it, I’ve done it! I’ve got the humans for testing! I threw them in cages and threw the key in the milekin cup! Now it’s time to go home. I wonder what my family will say. Let me think, wow, that’s amazing, I can’t believe you did it, and I thought you died! Yup, that’s what they would say! I would get my picture in the Sherbinoilan Hall of Fame! Maybe a statue of my braveness for going to earth and capturing humans for experiments! The only way I’ll know is if I get home soon. Finally, I made it home. But, before I went to see my family, I went to the testing lab. On the way there, everyone asked where I went. I said “I went on a mission.” They were all like “You did?” I said “Yes!” When I was in the lab, I found out that they were just a normal (kind of odd though) species! I guess now I have to bring them back to Earth. But before I do, I’ll visit my family! My family was so excited to see me. They thought I died! I told them the exciting news that I completed the mission of capturing and testing humans to see if they were a complicated species. I really missed my family and was happy to see them after 19 days. I think for now I’ll stay home with my family! It has been a few years and I have been dating an alien named Zwinkoni. She is from the planet Zwinkonia. She is so beautiful with her pearly pink skin with blue pokadots and her slime necklace. Today I will buy a ring and tomorrow, ask for her hand in marriage! I am at the Amba Ring Emporium looking for a ring. There are so many rings to choose from. I want to give her a ring with a diamond on it. There’s one with a diamond the size of my hand! “I’ll take it!” I said in a hurry! I grabbed the ring and went home to make plans to see Zwinkoni. She was so excited to meet me at Von Rouge! It was the most fancy and expensive restaurant in all of Sherbinoil! I’m going to wear a pink tuxedo with a blazing red bowtie. As we walked in to Von Rouge, I said to Zwinkoni “Get anything you want.” “Are you sure,” she said. “It’s really expensive?” “I’m sure.” I said. We walked into the dining room and sat down to eat. “Zwinkoni,” I said “will you marry me?” She just sat there and stared into space (No pun intended). I asked her again. “Will you marry me?” After I said that she said “Yes, yes, YES! Of course I will Mamo!” Everyone at Von Rouge clapped their hands. As we finished our lunch I paid the bill and we left. Once we were at my house making arrangements, my parents heard the news. They said they wanted to plan the wedding for us. But my parents are the worst decorators EVER! I told them not to, but they did it anyway. My suit was black! Can you believe that! A traditional suit is rainbow. My parents ruined the dress that Zwinkoni was gonna wear. They made it white, with bows! It should have been green with mud splattered on it. Also, they got flowers. Who gets flowers for a wedding? They really need to get with the times. The wedding is tomorrow. At least there are no more surprises.
Today is the wedding and everyone is ready except my parents! They pulled me to the side and said “Once you marry Zwinkoni, you will be king and queen of Sherbinoil.” I was frozen. I had no idea what to do or say. So, I said what I felt “No!” “What, why not?” They said. “I want a normal alien lifestyle! We’re moving to Zwinkonia into the guest house of her parent’s mansion.” I felt bad for saying it, but that’s it. That’s what we’re going to do. They accepted my decision and we went on with the wedding.
The music started “Da da da da, da da da da,” “Hurry it up will ya?” I said “we just want to be married.” She got to the front and we started. It felt like we were the only ones there. “Do you Mamo, take” “If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here yes I do!” “I do too!” “I now pronounce you alien and alien!”
We left, packed our things, and took the next airboat to Zwinkonia! Luckily, we caught the last one to Zwinkonia and it only took four seconds! Once we got off the plane, we searched for her parents. They called us on our jell phones. They said to take the rimo here. We called one, and it came.
As we walked into the rimo, we gave the driver our bags. “What are these bags filled with, rocks?” “Just stick to driving.” I said. Then, we were off. On the road to nowhere, I mean Zwinkoni’s parent’s house.
There was a sudden fog in the distance. The driver rode faster and the fog got closer. The fog was purple and smelled like carrots. For a second, I thought about a mutant rabbit. But why was it purple? There was an acid spill and a mutant rabbit jumped in it and farted. Oh well, not my problem. We kept on riding through the fog. We got to the house and the chef offered us a purple carrot cake. “I think I’m going to take a nap.” “Me too.” Zwinkoni said.
After a few hours, we both woke up. We got dressed and went to the dining room for breakfast. They served us Slime-oozing Water Coconuts! They were scrumptious! I asked for the recipe but they didn’t tell me. They said it was top secret. Tonight I shall go into the kitchen and find the secret recipe.
After everyone was asleep, I got out of bed and tip-toed to the recipe room. Luckily, I sneezed and saw the secret lasers. I crept under the lasers being ever so careful not to hit it. When all of a sudden “BEEP BEEP BEEP!” the sirens went off. I couldn’t waist time so I ran to the filing cabinet and opened up the R-S drawer. I went fast to the Slime-oozing Water Coconuts recipe. I opened it up and saw it was made of HUMAN water and HUMAN coconuts with slime added on top. We could DIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Zwinkoni’s parents, Zwinkoni, and the servants and chefs ran in. “This isn’t what it looks like . . . well maybe it is!” “Arrest him!” said a servant. “No, arrest him for using human food in our food!” “I never did such a thing!” said the servant. “Well, look at this recipe!” Zwinkoni’s dad walked over and read through the recipe. He gasped while looking over the ingredients. Zwinkoni started to feel dizzy and so did I. We were out-cold. I woke up 5 hours later (I was told) in the hospital. No one was in the room but I could hear the people in the next room. I tried to get out of the bed but a nurse came in and told me I couldn’t leave. “Why can’t I see him?” I heard from the next room. “You need to build your strength.” Another voice said. Then I realized it was Zwinkoni! I couldn’t just stay there! I stood up, pushed down the nurse, and ran passed her! I ran to the room on the left of mine and pushed the door open. But, it wasn’t the room with Zwinkoni. There was an old alien guy and he was fat. I mean FAAAAAAAAT! “Sorry, I, I was just leaving.” I shut the door and ran to the other side. I opened the door and Mr. and Mrs. Zwinkoni’s parents were crying with Zwinkoni laying on the bed. “She’s DEAD!” I yelled crying! “No you idiot!” said Zwinkoni’s father. “She’s sleeping and we’re crying tears of joy!” “Oh.” I said.
A nurse came in and brought me to a desk. “Sign here and you can leave.” I signed and left to my house. I missed Zwinkoni so much that I watched T.V to get my mind off her. ‘So you think you can be her alien?’ was on T.V. But right before it started, Zwinkoni and her parents came in. We ran and hugged each other. “I missed you!” We said at the same time. Then the doorbell rang. Zwinkoni’s dad answered the door. “Yes.” He said staring at the police aliens at the door. “Are you Mamo?” said the fat police alien. “No. Why?” “Could we please just see him?” “Sure.” Zwinkoni’s father came over to get me and brought me to the police. “You’re Mamo.” Said the bald police alien. “Yes. Can I help you officers?”
“You’re under arrest for murder of Zixy Hindu a.k.a. nurse.” “I didn’t murder anyone.” I yelled so loud that the neighbors opened their door. “Please put your hands behind your back. Anything you say can be used against you in Smort.”
They threw me in the car and my head hit the window so hard that my head flattened for a moment and then got its shape back. They sat down in their seats and started the car. “This is insanity, and you’re insane, I didn’t kill nobody.” I yelled at the cops. “Ya ya ya.” Said the cop under his breath. The bald police alien passed the other a piece of Hubble Bubble Bubbly Bubble Gum with strawberry, blueberry, and watermelon with 89 ovals of rum slurping. I was quiet the whole ride there.
92 stipluments later we got to the police alien station where I was put in my first cell with a giant, muscular, scary cell mate. His name was Fluffy Toto. “I’m gonna crush you!” said Fluffy Toto. “My spirits?” I asked in a question. “You could say that.” He said snorting like a bull on earth. I closed my eyes and couldn’t open them for a while.
The next day I woke up with a purple eye and my smoyer came to get me ready for Smort. He gave me a rental suit and drove me to the Smort room. “Don’t say anything but the words ‘I plead not guilty’ got it?” “Yes Mr. . . . .” “Mr. Curwall” The last few minutes were in silence.
He pulled in to the parking lot and got a spot right out front of the Smort room. It was really for disabled aliens though. I walked in and my smoyer said he would be inside in a moment. I sat down and the judge said “Are you defending yourself, because you know what they say, ‘The man who defended himself has a fool for a client’”. Then walked in my smoyer, Mr. Curwall. He sat down next to me and I said I pleaded not guilty. They asked me questions without thinking first. At the end of the day the judge and jury said not guilty and I could leave to go home. Mr. Curwall drove me home with a frown because of the parking ticket he got from parking in front of disabled parking.
When I got home, I put my coat down and-. Wait, I DON’T OWN A COAT! Anyway, I walked in and all the lights were out. I turned the lamp on and I saw a very tiny note on the chair facing the T.V. I picked it up and started to read it aloud.
My family and I cannot afford to keep paying for your mistakes. We don’t even spend any time with each other anymore. My family and I are leaving the Milky Way and we sold the house. So pack your things and leave. Good-Bye Forever!
“But… but? How can she . . . .?”
TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . . . . . . . .
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