• Dear Murderer One,

    You told me I was ugly. You told me I was fat but it was nothing to worry about, then when I turned my back you laughed at me. You beat me down, physically and emotionally. You killed my spirit. You destroyed my self esteem. Your a crook. Your a fake. You make me sick at the sight of you. You never showed me any love, so henceforth I didn't know how to give it, or accept it from anyone else. Was your mission to kill me? If so, you failed.

    A couple weeks ago I met a young man. Then one day I called him. I know you told me I'm not allowed to make any phone calls. I wonder why that was, to prevent me from having friends? When I called him we talked. It was nice. He told me I was beautiful. I laughed. I couldn't believe him. We kept talking. We became friends. Then more than friends. He told me he loved me. I laughed. I couldn't believe him.

    I believed you when you said I was ugly. And I believed everybody else. But lately people have been saying quite the opposite. When I get compliments it goes in one ear and out the other. I blame myself. I let you get to me. I believed everything you said about me.

    He told me to look in the mirror. I looked. I couldn't see anything but a fat, dark skinned, ugly child. He said I didn't give myself enough credit. I told him I was trying. He gave up for the day.

    When we hanged up I looked in the mirror again. Why does he love me? WHY! It couldn't be because of my beautiful brown eyes, because mines we're dark brown and lifeless. It couldn't be because of my long luxurious hair, because mines were in a bad need of a pearm. It couldn't be because of my beautiful smile, because I'm thinking about getting braces.

    So I sat on my bed and cried. Where was I ever going to get self-esteem from? It's not like you can buy it. Even if you could I don't have enough money. So I thought long and hard and realized something that I've been hearing all along:

    My black is beautiful. My thickness is rich. My heart is big. I am quite intelligent. I have more friends than I realized. My uglyness is p e r f e c t. And YOUR worthless. One day you will accept me... One day you will see... You called me a loser, but I have big plans for myself... Trust me.

    Signed,
    Your daughter. smile