• Everything happens for a reason I keep telling myself. Everything does, god would not damn someone with no wrongs. I swallow the last bit of courage I have left in my mind and body and keep running, my sound gets louder as I splash into ice cold water, freezing as it is I keep going. If they leave this place then I want to leave too.

    I am about five feet from the shore when I step into an abyss, I am sinking and so is my air second by second. The water seems to grow colder as I sink farther down. My breathe is going and I keep myself from going up if I could, I want to change my mind but they keep flashing into my mind.

    I hit the bottom and wish I could stop but it does not go, I am drowning. I open my mouth and scream at the top of my lungs giving out the rest of my air. I am losing consciousness and know when I close my eyes they will never again open. I urge myself to keep going through with the suicide but doubting myself. Would they want me to do this? Who cares what they would think, they left you here alone.

    I finally succeed and am dead or at least hope to be.

    Pressure punctures my chest and my mouth has a link. It is giving me the last thing I want, life. I try not to give in but my consciousness is returning to me. The pressures continues and my mouth still links between each push. I am holding down a cough of water, but the pressure punctures the right spot and I let go of the h2o. They try to sit me up but I try to clutch the sand. I am picked up again and I feel them running one leg back and forth it feels like a treadmill their feet never touching the ground.

    "Stop" I choke out in a slur. The motion stops and I feel a pair of eyes on me. He goes to move again and I say again"Stop" He stops this time with no intention to move forward again. He kneels and lays me on my back and sits me up. I won't choke out the water, I won't. I can't! I have nothing else to live for, I hate them for saving me I want to die I tell myself, even though I know deep down I am scared of death. My eyes will not open, and I don't want them to.

    My mind keeps flashing me pictures of their dead bodies, bloodless ad not a hope in the world to get an ounce to keep them alive. I want to cry but I can't find the tears to do so. I want to run back to the water and suffer as they did all because of me. I hate I was the survivor and no one here cares, except of them. I try to hold my breathe but my lungs won't give. They won't understand at all and I plan to make them trust me enough to get alone, and do something unforgettable.

    I breathe in and out over and over again; I now feel how much my heart hurts as I am around to experience how much a heart can ache with nothing left but pain. Trust me it hurts more then drowning I should know, I experienced both...