So you thought you could forget me, pick me off like a scab and flick me away. You forget, darling, that scabs bleed. Didn't your mother ever tell you to let the wound heal first? As it is I’ll just keep trickling scarlet lamentations all over that cheap bleached purity of yours, and I swear I’ll see you die before you forget me. Burned into your memory, these scars will never heal.
Call me naïve, but for a moment I actually deluded myself into believing you felt something for me. Sad, isn't it? I thought that just because you had learned your lines by heart and acted them superbly that maybe you actually cared. Sometimes my gullibility is shocking. All I need is a little taste of what true love might be, but I know it’s too much to ask. I want people to mean what they say for once in their bloody lives. I want people to be honest with me like I’m honest with them. Can nobody see that I’m telling the truth? I quit the stage years ago; has no one followed me? Is everyone else in the world still contentedly living an intricately fabricated lie, one big happy family of plastic smiles and suicide?
They say my reflection is just an image, that I’m the real me. So why do I feel so dead? I’m shattering the mirror now into the world beyond, and I don't care that it’s shredding my hands. Maybe I’ll find something real there, something worth living for, something worth loving.
Go ahead, destroy my world. I know you don’t care, so why should I? I shouldn’t, so why do I? Tear my life into oblivion so you can have your laugh. The worst thing is, I know you don’t deserve to be abused like this. It all makes me just as bad as you—worse, even. You don’t know, do you? You don’t understand me at all. Everything is a game, a meaningless roll of the dice. Nothing. Well, maybe one of us didn't find it so pointless. Maybe one of us thought it was real. Maybe one of us fell in love with the other one. But then again, maybe it’s just one more clever ruse, another rainbow shadow to vainly pursue.
Tell me what you feel for once, and for once, don’t lie. Tell me everything. Do you expect me to laugh you off, to dismiss you as easily as you seem to dismiss me? I swear I’ll listen. I swear I’ll try to see through my tears and into your heart. I swear I’ll love you all the more.
Despite it all, I’m still acting. I thought I was shedding my skin to reveal the simple, happy soul beneath, but there’s another layer, isn't there? The complex centre of my being still remains. I know I may seem straightforward, but one thing I know for sure is that there’s more of me. No matter how deep you go, there’s always more.
How can you not see?! Sometimes I want to strangle some sense into you. You mean something to me. I don’t know what yet, but I know that there’s something there. Love isn't some masquerade ball of frilly pink gowns and smiles and thick sugary frosting on light fluffy cakes. Welcome to the real world. Love is blood, and sweat, and the tears I cry for you in the middle of the night.
Not that I expect you to understand. It’s all just a game to you anyway.
I’ll be waiting for you on the other side of the broken mirror, and so help me God I’ll wait there forever if I have to, holding out my scarred hand full of bloodstained shards of glass.
Come to me.
- Title: Beyond the Shattered Mirror
- Artist: Annastaysia
- Description: I don't usually write stuff like this, but I have a friend who does and I really admire her work, so I thought I'd try to do something similar. There are a lot of meanings in this so read it with an open mind. Please rate and comment if you feel so inclined, thank you ^-^
- Date: 09/19/2010
- Tags: shattered mirror world love glass