• Happy Again

    "To be completely honest, I think your full of s**t." she said to the tall boy beside her.
    "Look you can't keep blaming other people for you problems-"
    "I'm not blaming other people! I want to be happy, but it's difficult! I really do want to be happy" She whispered.
    "I don't think you could handle it." he walked away.
    She placed her finger to her lip and stood there thinking. She thought back to when she was 8 and her dad had yelled at her mom, how she had sat in her room crying with her hands tightly pushing against her ears. Then to when she was ten and her mother ran away slamming the door and screaming at her father, and how when she was 11 she ran away to her mothers only to find out her mother was sick of her, how she couldn't handle having a kid right now, her work was more important then her own daughter. Tears stung her eyes as she thought back to last night when her father came home drunk and yelled at her and called her names, then the phone conversation she had had with her best friend.
    "Did he hit you?" he said. She tried to answer but was sobbing too heavily. "Did he hit you?" he said in a firmer tone.
    "No." she had squeaked, inhaling deeply. She heard a loud sigh.
    "Where is he now?" said the calm voice on the other end.
    "I-in the basement." she choked.
    "I'm coming over to get you okay?" she heard a car start. "Have your things ready for school so we don't have to stop at your place in the morning." He sounded so reasonable.
    "K." she whispered then hung up. I wish I could be reasonable. She thought, but it's to difficult, it requires so much thinking. That was how her brain processed everything, it was always so difficult for her to get things done. So difficult to think things through, so difficult to tell herself to keep breathing. But she did, after all she had her crutch. A tall boy with jet black hair and bright blue eyes.
    She thought about what he had told her that morning before school. How he had called her dad, and how awful her dad felt. She had stared out the car window, looking sad.
    "Why do you do that?" he had said.
    "Do what?"
    "Not give anyone a chance, you always push everyone away, so your dad made a mistake, he's hurt about this too. The world doesn't revolve around you.'
    The words still stung. Now tears where rolling down her face. She ran to catch up with him, hugging his back when she caught him. He turned to look at her.
    "Your right." she said, "I can't handle it, not now at least, but, I want to try, I'm tired of making life difficult, I need to get over it, and so does daddy." She gave him a practice smile, her lips curling up awkwardly. He returned with one of his perfect smiles. "I want to be happy again."