• There I stood, standing over his grave. Feelings of remorse and regret flowing through me. His family gives me cold, hard stares that penetrate my very being. Not only for our forbidden love life as two men, but for the reason we are here today. I am the reason why my lover is dead.

    Yes, I knew it was a cold night. No, I did not know it had snowed and frozen over where my darling was driving. I called his phone out of worry. Why he wasn't home yet, where he was, and such. I didn't know that he would have dropped his phone. I didn't know that while trying to answer my call, another driver would spin out into his lane. No, this driver wouldn't be the terrible drunk driver you commonly hear of. This driver simply spun out on a patch of ice in the road. If I had not called my beloved at that moment he could have pulled out of the way.

    Sadly that is not the way fate intended it to be. So here we are. Trapped in a whirl-wind of misery and dispair. Watching my lover be lowered into the cold, frozen earth. No one consoles me. They know its my fault. Why their beloved friend or realative is alive no more. I feel there is no reason for me to live any longer. For without my beloved, life would be meaningless and senseless. But, wouldn't someone say 'that is not what he would want for me'. They would reply with positive thoughts and carry on with their lives. It doesn't seem that way to me. So as I take this gun, I shall put myself out of my misery. To me the gun is not an enemy to be scared of, it welcomes me toward it. So that when i pull trigger with the gun pointed at my temple, there will be no room for suffering. I shall hopefully fall upon my loved one's grave, so that we can be together, forever and ev-