• Idiot



    The cold morning air chilled the teen’s pale skin. The cold air pierced her skin right through her jacket. Her long breaths could be seen in the crisp morning. The grass was still wet with dew, coating a thin layer over her shoes. The stone before her carved with his name. The tears silently rolling down her face.
    “Here lies Dimitri Emerson.” The words stung. Like a painful, forever lasting wasp sting. It was hurtful. But it was never going to fade. Not this pain at least.
    “You freaking idiot!” Her voice broke as she howled the insults into the air. Her throat was tight, like somone had logded a pingpong ball into it. A pingpong ball on fire. It made her voice fade as she spoke. It showed weakness. Weakness. Something she never wanted to show.
    The black haired teen sprinted away. She dashed into the cities bricks and stones and various criminals and rich persons. It was the best home she had. The stones and bricks. The subway trains, buses, sidewalk, feet. Her feet. They seemed to interest her at the moment. Her gray eyes staring holes into them. Her tearful, soul-less gray eyes.
    “You . . . idiot.” It was more of a comment. A silent praise. He used to be an idiot yes, but she loved that about him. Well, she used to. But she didn’t now. He was gone. God took him away from her. Her pace slowed, her breath coming out in short gasps for air.
    “Idiot.” She was cursing herself. ‘I should have been there. It wouldn’t have happened if I had been there,’ she thought recklessly. She slid to the ground slowly, her back scrapping against the freezing brick. She pulled the jean jacket tighter to her small frame. “Idiot.”
    After a moment of grieving, she forced herself off the ground. Aimlessly, she wandered off thinking over and over the same words. The world swarmed faster about. The city’s busy nature faster than usual. The doleful teen’s feet controling her path. Her mind set on other things.
    Without realizing it till the last second, she had wandered to a set of stairs to the subways underground. The subways. She had two thoughts come into her mind when she noticed it. Him and suicide. It was the first place she had met him. It was by accident. A fateful accident.



    A heavy shove. Books and papers flying. Hand meeting hand. Flushed faces and gleaming eyes. A stike of electricty. It was the perfect story. The perfect meeting. Well, in her mind it used to be.
    But then the other thought overwhelmed the one from before. Suicide. She could end it. Make it look like someone pushed her in front of the train. Yeah. Accidental death. That would work. She slowly made her way down the stairs, a feeling of the boney hands guiding her down.
    The woman operating the ticket booth gave a sullen look to the pale skinned teen. “How many?” She put up her finger with the money in the other hand. Paying for death? It seemed like a rip-off to her. But for everything that’s happened in her life, it might as well make sense.
    “Here you go ma’am.” The white, strangely thick stub was passed into her hand and shoved into her pocket. She made her way down another flight of stairs with the crowd of people. ‘Here I come,’ she thought. As soon as she came within view of the tracks, a another strange feeling tightened up in her heart. She shook the feeling. It was all going to end in a moment.
    She waited close to the tracks. She glanced to the side. A couple was smooching and giggling and whispering sweet nothings. She hissed lowly. She looked back down at the yellow line. It did everything but keep her from death. Death. Why was it the best solution to her? She didn’t understand it either, but to her, for a second, it was worth it.
    She heard the engine coming closer. She could see it’s lights. She fell foreward. It was slow. It felt like forever for the train to come hit her. It was the last moment of breath. But it was taking to damn long. ‘Hurry up!’ she thought.
    Suddenly, a hand grabbed the back of her coat. It pulled her backwards from in front of the train. There were gasps and shocked expressions. But there was also a loud ‘OOF!’ as she landed backwards on something soft, and breathing.
    “What are you an idiot?” She twisted back and glowered at this ‘savior.’ Her gray eyes went wide. A teen, silver haired, brown eyed boy was glaring at her, an irritated expression smeared acorss his pale face. She was stunned. And in a nano second, so was he.
    She scampred off him and stood up, brushing off her clothes. He stood up beside her and brushed his own self off. Their eyes met once again. A strange electric shock bounced off their insides like a pinball machine. Like it had before.
    The scowl replaced the shock and he placed his hand on her short black hair. “What’s your name?” he murmured. She gave him a glare and crossed her arms.
    “It’s Erin,” she spat, glowering intensely at the ground. Smiling inside. The taller teen shook his head and ruffled her hair. He smirked and mumbled softly. “Idiot.”