• Chapter One.

            Everyone always fears death. Personally, I have come to know that death will be peaceful.

            If only they could see that life is much more difficult. I suppose everyone is destined for a different life though. Things would be too difficult for all of us to walk in the same shoes. Instead of people seeing one sided and assuming they understand…they would be able to see fully and know. Nothing burns me more than when people assume that they know everything about the person you are, just because they know the things which happened to you. I visit one such person twice each week. Mother suggested it. Dad enforced it.

            Monday. Brilliant lights of warm red and rich copped filtered though extravagant curtains. The sun set behind its horizon as I waited patiently for Vincent Alder to walk through that heavy oak door with the usual routine of slipping on his glasses to struggle with the patient list, despite already knowing it was me, and sitting down in his brown leather armchair. Precisely five minutes past five, Alder did in fact sidled his way through the door. It was the typical time. I watched with a slight smile of knowing as he slid those wire framed glasses to the obnoxious bridge of his nose and took ten minutes trying to read the name on the list. A sigh escaped him. A grunt of relief came forth as he fell into that brown leather chair. Alder arched his brows as he looked at me. I knew what he must be thinking. Here’s the annoying child who can’t accept a fix from the hands of someone else.

            Ever since we had a dispute about him wanting me to take lithium or something ridiculous like that to calm my nerves, I stopped liking him Not that I liked him much before. Something about him bothered me. He reminded me of something evil, oily and slick. Those large mammoth hands of his ran through his greasy brown hair. Beady brown eyes looked at every place in the room save for me. I had the feeling greed was his reason for tolerating me.

            “So, Ms. Woods, what do you think about this weather?”

            I couldn’t help but scoff. This man, who for all intensive purposes was not fond of me…the feeling mutual, wanted to talk about the weather. I decided to go with this conversation though.

            “Yeah, it’s definitely different from the normal.” In truth, it was far from the normal. Not often did the sun shine here during the winter. Although, the temperature was quite average. That much was evident in my heavy coat and gloves hanging on Alder’s coat rack. The hour ticked by in such a way. A long time ago, Alder grew smart and understood he wouldn’t get much out of me. He actually told me once, “I understand Emica. You’re too private to tell anyone about what happened.”

            I wanted to laugh, badly. That Harvard degree sitting proudly in its frame up on the wall did not help any. All the time wasted away in his dull life and it led up to blatant idiocy. Sometimes, I found myself wondering if he ever actually tried thinking before he spoke. I always arrived at the same conclusion. No, in every sense. That clearing noise in his throat brought to my attention that this appointment was finally over. I left as quickly as possible. Part of me hoped mom and dad would go to hell for sending me here for these regular appointments.