• Part 1

    It was nearly midday when I reached the hotel. It wasn't five stars (it was hardly even one star) but it was going to do for a few days. I wondered if I should look around but decided there would be enough time to be wowed by this 'state-of-the-art' building later, when I didn't feel like I've been run over by a truck,then chewed by a lion, and finally left to live only to be found by an exceptionally sadistic woman (not that there's a big difference between the three).

    I got my key from the receptionist or should I say from the reception itself as the highly 'competent and professional' member of staff was too busy with her nails to give me any attention, or in this case- my key. I headed for my 'room' eager for a shower and a little rest.
    After the elevator, somehow managed to reach the 5th floor with the amazing speed of 1 meter per hour, I was ready to collapse and just sleep on the ******** floor, with the intent to piss of whoever managed this dump! And just when I was thinking that this could not possibly get any worse, the doors open. Today was just not my day. Actually, yesterday was not my day either. Neither was the day before. When I finished thinking about my, awfully traumatising life, and what it seam to be my unluckiest year by far, I was eventually ready to face whatever was hiding in my 'lovely room'.

    Well, I didn't find out right away, maybe due to the lack of light, which in turn was caused by the lack of a light-switch, thanks to some idiot who thought it would be funny to put it behind the door. After I stumbled around for a bit, and probably got myself a few bruises in the process, I was now expecting to find flying pigs and a bed hanging from the ceiling. Can you imagine my surprise when I turned on the lights and found a middle sized bed to which, amazingly, all of the laws of gravity applied, and as for flying pigs- there were none, although it seemed like they did reside in the 'room' some time before.

    This really was one hell of a week. Please ladies and gentlemen, do pay attention to the word hell. You know, I don't usually do the whole melodramatic 'my-life-sucks-as-a-rotten-fish-dipped-in-brown-goodness' kinda thing, but a guy can't take much more without complaining at least a tiny little bit. And trust me when I say that I'm entitled to much more than 'a tiny little bit' of complaining after all the 'wonderful' things that has happened to me over this year. You see, there's unlucky and then there is Unlucky. The first one usually leads you to spilling coffee on your new expensive suit or scratching your newly painted ride, and that's perfectly OK 'cause it's the way the universe work. However, sometimes the universe decides to pick someone already carrying quite a few jinxes and promote them. As you can imagine that leads to a lot of trouble for said person, which eventually leads to them staying at a godforsaken dumb, which smells like a sewer. Yep, that was definitely one hell of a week.