One day I decided to change completely as in be a bad girl not wearing a scarf change completely and to go out with boys just to reveal how my dad really feels about me instead of just lying to me and saying,
“If you be a good girl then I’ll love you but if you turn bad then I will just kill you” In a nice and polite way just to make me feel happy! HAPPY for lying to me! I don’t think so and he’s going to SPY on me at school if I do go and flirt with boys. Well this time I’ll show him what it feels like to be lied to because I had enough of pretending to be someone that I’m not, probably when I’m a bit older I’ll be very different from the way I am going to be from now. I just want to be very nice to people but my dad is getting annoying so that’s why I’m going to change and say to him how much I hated this little act he always gives me. I know I’m a bit bad but still I can’t take it anymore he’s been doing this all my secondary and I’ve dressed like a tramp at school because he thinks I look so decent and gentle now if I was to wear something more appropriate then that will ok but it’s not! And if he throws his temper on me then I’ll just have run away and go live with someone else. And we’ll see who’s hurt or happy. So what I decided to do is go school the way I always go but when I get there I take my scarf and tie my hair back and then I know for fact that in my registration the boys will look at me I know that for a fact they will stare at me and throw things at me so I can just look at them.
After registration a boy named Alan came and started talking to me, I have to say he so good looking. Anyway he goes to me,
“Hey Tanika how are you?”
“I’m alright, what about you?”
“Yeah I’m fine” We were both silence and we were walking together to English and of course Mourine got jealous so she pulled me back and said,
“Why are you talking to him?” I said to her
“I don’t know he just suddenly comes up to me and started talking to me,” all of a sudden Alan turns around and looks at me waiting and says to me
“Tanika, are you coming?” I ran to him and said
“Yeah, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing I just wanted you to walk with you that’s all.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah what’s wrong?” I felt a bit scared in asking him but I said it anyway,
“Why are you all of sudden talking to me?
“Well, I know we never get along but I just wanted to talk to you because I think we can get along that’s all.”
“But you don’t even know me properly”
“Well that doesn’t matter now does it because you’re in my class and were all mate now aren’t we?”
“Well I don’t see you talking to Zaheda and her mates and you think that I’m a freshy and that I hang around with Mourine and Shanon and all the rest of them. Now what do you have to say for that?” He took a deep breath and said,
“Well first of all I don’t like Zaheda and her mates and hey they don’t like me so we don’t talk to each other. And I never called you a freshy you think I did but I didn’t I called your mates freshy and why do you hang around with them because your nothing like them, your in fact better then them and your kind and pretty there is that better?”
“You’re so sweet do you know that? Anyway I agree with you when you said that Mourine and the rest are freshy.” Alan laughed I knew he liked me he’s just saying that so he wants me to like him, I already do like him he just doesn’t know that’s all I really wish I could tell him but I can’t tell him now. I just can’t. Anyway me and Alan went to class together but no one was in apart from my teacher, Ms Damms, she was shocked to see me and Alan together so she says,
“That’s surprising to see you two together, you mostly come in with your mates” Alan says,
“We are mates; the others are coming there just a bit late that’s all”
“Oh, so I’m your mate now!” I said in a surprisingly way and turned around and looked at him.
“Yeah, were mates aren’t we?” Alan said.
“Fine I don’t mind but I’m sitting in my space.”
“Oh really and what if I come and sit next to you?” He said in a challenging way.
“You can’t because Shelim sits there”
“Oh he can sit somewhere else”
“No!” I said in an angry way he got scared and said to me,
“Fine I’ll sit behind you”
“Why don’t you sit where you always sit?”
“Alright then I will.” And by saying that he went and sat next to Abu. He was staring at me and smiling I as so shy and then Mourine came and I started laughing so did Alan everyone else was just staring at me and Alan and went shy and then Mourine says to me in a polite way,
“What were you and him talking about?” obviously, I knew she was only being so polite to me so that I will like her and I know she’s going to hang around with me in break and lunchtime because she wants Alan to notice her, but he doesn’t even like her and I’m so happy! Anyway I said to her,
“We were talking something private between us, why?” I said in a way to see if she‘s jealous.
“Why can’t you tell your own friend” saying it in such a polite way I got so pissed off I said to her,
“Your not even a mate I don’t know what your talking about, your always with Shanon and your so embarrassed of me! And now you’re so polite to me so that Alan can like you, you’re such a cow! Some friend you are. Oh what are you going to say ‘No? I don’t like Alan.’ It’s a bit obvious you do you’re such a liar!” As I said all that to Mourine I didn’t realize that Alan was there, he was shocked to hear me saying all that, I looked at him and walked off he started running after me so Shanon, then Alan said,
“Wait, Tanika was that all true! All those things you told Mourine?” I looked at him and said,
“Yes.” In a quiet voice Shanon as staring at me I looked at her and said in a pissed off way, “What are you doing here aren’t you going to go to your best friend Mourine?”
“No I don’t even like her.” She said it in a way that she’s so disgusted of her. I was smiling at her and then Alan goes to me with his baby face,
“Hug?” how could I say no. So I hugged him. All I know was that Shanon is only with me more because of Alan.
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