• “no way! R u srs?” came a shout from far away.
    “Ugh,” Oraz, the level 120 double blade, grimaced. “Stupid text talkers. They completely ruin the game for us literate people.”
    “Don’t be that way. They just want to enjoy the game,” said Oraz’s companion, Konta, a level 116 power blade.
    “Well, couldn’t they do that using proper grammar? I mean, this game comes with spell-check. Have these guys ever heard of the shift key and comma?”
    “To each his own, Oraz. Let’s go do a quest to relieve your tension.” They started heading towards the quest office, when they were rudely interrupted by a level 13 double blade who approached them.
    “omg r dat a reeprsord?” He asked Oraz. Oraz was not amused.
    “It’s called a Reaper sword, not a ‘reeprsord’. Learn how to spell,” He explained to the player, with more than a hint of annoyance in his voice. But the player would have none of it.
    “o nd iz dat a revalashin blayde? wow u must b a gr8 dubble blayde to have 1 of dose wanna trade foar mai eye o’ de’ sturm?”
    “Look, kid, an ‘Eye of the Storm is a level 12 double blade weapon. My Revelation Blade is a level 118 double blade weapon. Do the math. Now, take this X-Potion and get out of my face!”
    “kthxbai lol.” And with that, the player left. Oraz was pissed off.
    “Honestly, why do they even let people like this play ‘Saga of Legends’? I wish there was some way to fix this” Complained Oraz. Suddenly, a Messenger Penguin came to him and Konta. Now, this was no ordinary Messenger Penguin, but a Messenger Penguin X. They were special because they brought good tidings of great joy straight from the creators themselves. Oraz quickly grabbed the message from the MPX and kicked it in the head, causing it to stagger backwards, then fall flat on its back. This granted a little amusement to Oraz, but only for a little while. He looked at the message, and then, after looking at it for quite a while, he looked at Konta (who was also reading the message). After looking at Konta for not quite as long as he looked at the message, he looked at the message once more, just to confirm whether what he had seen was real or not. The message stated:
    _____________________________________________________________
    TO ALL LEVEL 115s AND ABOVE
    Ultima Tournament next week
    Winner will be able to decree a new law for ‘SoL’
    _____________________________________________________________

    “Can you believe this, Konta? It’s perfect!” Oraz exclaimed in excitement.
    “Yes, I guess it is. Are you gonna use this to solve your problem?”
    “Yup. I’ll win this tournament, and then rid ‘SoL’ of the awful plague of text talkers!” Oraz laughed maniacally as he headed toward the quest office to register.
    ONE WEEK LATER
    The crowd was cheering. Oraz had already blasted his way through the preliminaries, and was now in his quarterfinal match. He walked out to the ring at the Aljair Arena. Noticing his opponent, an archer, he stepped to the centre of the ring to shake hands. The mood: Tense. Oraz was pumped, though. Then the archer opened his mouth and said something that completely shattered the intense mood.
    “lol i r gon beet u prepar foar deth.” Oraz’s handsome features turned into a horrifying image. If looks could kill, the archer would have died several times. Oraz then muttered his response.
    “Shut up and die.” The fight started. Oraz leaped backwards and, delaying only for a second, rushed at the archer. This took him completely by surprise, and because he was still drawing his bow, he had no time to retaliate. Oraz swung at him twice, connecting both times. The archer fell to the ground with a thud. And with that, the archer was defeated. The crowd went absolutely mad, and Oraz was especially proud of his awesomely epic, and fast, kill.
    The archer groaned, “o no I iz ded he kill me darn.”
    “Shut up. You’re dead.” The look Oraz gave him killed him a couple more times.
    “Congratzorz!” came a voice from behind. Oraz turned around. It was his next illiterate opponent, a mage. “kyll him, I c u did.”
    “Who’re you? Yoda?” Oraz smirked.
    “no,” was his answer, “i r guy who gon teech u lessin.” Because he looked dead serious saying this, Oraz burst out in laughter.
    “ Ha ha ha! You think you can kill me? You can’t even spell ‘kill’ correctly! Surrender to my might!” The fight began.
    “git rdy 2 b pwnzed by mai magik missl!” the mage shouted as he started chanting an incantation. Oraz began running.
    “ I’ll kill you to death!” He shouted, becoming slightly illiterate due to his rage.
    “u cant kyll mee! i wuz born leet and pwnzsome! I r teh ultima fihter!” With his incatation complete, the mage aimed. “die plzkthxbai!” He was about to blast his fireball, but stopped right in time to realise Oraz was nowhere to be seen. He had used his cloaking ability, and was sneaking up behing the mage. Suddenly, the mage cried, “i no were u r!”
    “Crap! He spotted me!” Oraz thought and braced for the attack. He didn’t have to. The mage, with a loud, “Aaarggh!” fired the blazing orb in front of him. It flew to the wall of the arena and dispersed.
    “Wow,” Oraz snickered quietly, “This guy is an idiot. A braindead idiot!” He laughed at his own joke (Note: Oraz has a very lame sense of humor).
    “wtf I wer wrong?” Famous last words. With one well aimed strike, the evil text-talking demon was vanquished. Oraz took off his cloaking and was greeted with a loud cheer.
    “Oraz! Oraz!” The crowd chanted. Oraz felt great, after all he had just annihalated a level 119 mage as if he was a stack of pancakes, so he couldn’t help bragging.
    “ Who’s ‘teh leet pwnzor’ now? You’re just a giant, dead, illiterate heap of fail.” But his victory was short-lived. The final fight was next. He was positive he could win this one, until he saw his opponent step into the ring. It was Konta.
    “Oh, it’s you.” Konta was equally surprised.
    “Yes, it is me. This is the first time we’ve fought, isn’t it? I won’t hold back!” Oraz got into his fighting position, but relaxed again as Konta started saying something.
    “ Oraz, actually… Well, it breaks my heart to tell you this, but… lol i r a txt tlkr i <3 speeking like dis nd i wanna win nd maek a ruel so ade evry1 has 2 speek like dis lol.” Oraz was devastated.
    “No, this can’t be… I’ve been betrayed by my own friend… Konta… No! NO! NOOOOOOOO!” He fell to his knees.
    “lol i trixd u dis hole tiem nao i r gon win so u have 2 txt tlk 2 lol.” Konta seemed excited, but Oraz was the exact opposite.
    “…I can’t believe this. Konta, how could you! You’ll pay. YOU’LL PAY!” Oraz screamed as he rose into a shaky fighting stance. ‘GONG!’ The bell initiated the fight.
    “I r strt thngs off k?” Konta heaved his heavy sword at Oraz. Oraz nimbly leaped up and jumped onto Konta’s sword, clinging onto it as it flew through the air. From atop his perch, Oraz kicked Konta in the face, sending him flying. Konta easily recovered, charging at Oraz once again. Thrusting his sword, Konta caught Oraz off guard. He barely had time to block, but managed to deflect Konta’s sword to the side. Oraz then swung at the defenseless Konta. Konta, however, managed to take the momentum from the deflection and swing his sword behind his back. Oraz had to switch from offence to defence, blocking Konta’s sword, but was sent flying into the arena wall, with which he collided with a deafening ‘THUD’. A large smoke cloud was kicked up. Konta looked at the crash site and concluded he had won. He turned around and started to walk away. Just then, a bloody, battered and briused Oraz flew out from the dust, rushing at Konta with his sword. Konta had sharp reflexes, though, and was able to put his sword up in time to save his life. They both jumped back from each other, and were now about ten metres apart. “heh…ur not bad, but ill use mai supr strngst moev nao nd pwnz u!” Konta started to swing the sword in a circle around himself. Oraz was confused.
    “What? This is just a basic power blade move, the Roundhouse. How is this his ultimate attack?” Konta then explained (In his own special way).
    “dis iz ma roflcopter is goes soi soi soi soi soi soi soi!” Konta, now a giant top, was slowly moving towards Oraz.
    “Umm…. Okay. I’ll give him points for creativity, but this isn’t a great ultimate attack. But I still have to counter it,” Oraz thought, “How will I…. I got it! Yes, I can use that!” He then looked up at the spinning mass of Konta inching towards him. “Oi, Konta, I remember something a little newb once told me!”
    “o, wat dat?”
    “That… THE ROFLCOPTER CRASHED INTO LOLMOUNTAIN!” Oraz used his special block, Mountain Guard. And, although it may seem ridiculous, it worked like a charm. Konta’s sword edge barely tipped the Mountain Guard, but it still went flying out of his hands, straight at a wall. It sunk deep into the wall, and Konta (Who ran after it) tried his hardest to pull it out. He was unsuccessful.
    “o no mai sord iz liek eggscalibur in teh stone! i r not king arthur!” Konta cried in agony.
    “YES! VICTORY IS MINE! Finally I can rid this world of the horrible text talkers!’” Overjoyed, Oraz left the ring, heading towards the podium.
    “LOL NO I WIN!” Oraz heard Konta exclaim. “i wer jk i haz 2 sords not just 1 nd u left teh ring so i win lololololololol!”
    “KONTA IS THE WINNER OF THE ULTIMA FIGHTER TOURNAMENT!” The PA announced. Oraz turned around, saw Konta holding another sword, and realized his mistake. Power blades could carry two swords, one on their back, one in use (Because swords braking in ‘SoL’ was a ocasional occurrence). He was stupefied.
    “Wtf?!”

    TEH ENDZORZ!