• I held my whining girlfriend’s hand. “Omg Ian, Why do you have to walk like that.? It is, like, so nerdish.” She rolled her eyes and popped her bubble gum. I had been dating Sharon for about 4 months and going on 5. The first month was wonderful, I could kiss her and she would be willing but now she would worry of who was looking and such. “I’m sorry babe.” I mumbled. “Ughh, don’t call me ‘babe’ in public. It’s embarrassing.” I was losing interest in her each day. Why was she treating me like a stranger.?

    I would break up with her any day, but I would have to hear from my father. Something I was definitely not up to. Sharon’s father was my father’s boss and anything that made Sharon’s father unhappy was surely going to make my father unhappy. At a time when I was going to break up with Sharon my father found out and beat me to change my mind. Great persuading, huh.? I just couldn’t figure out how I was going to get out of this relationship.

    I pushed some hair out of my eye and stopped around the corner of my girl friend’s class. The same routine as always and I handed her the books I had been carrying for her. “Have a good day.” I smile and attempt to kiss her on her forehead. She ducked and swiftly walked to class with out even looking back. “Rejection.!” Said a voice followed by snickers.

    I turned and saw Gary and the Blue crew. They made there way to me and Gary seemed to be only an inch or two from my face. “Wouldn’t want daddy to get angry, So you keep kissing her a**, huh.?” He grinned. I felt his cool breath reach my lips and made me want to touch his own lips. “What do you want.?” I looked away. “I want you to break up with her.” He snarled and the Blue Crew joined in. “I want you to be miserable.” He added before he pushed me against the wall and walked off laughing.

    I made my way to my classroom door, but I felt like I wouldn’t be able to think about schoolwork. I slipped into a vacant room and leaned my back against the wall. ‘What was that.? That...feeling.?’ my mind was racing. I ran a hand through my hair as if this feeling would lay back. I ignored all my thoughts and went out the side exit of the school and got in my car. I drove around town a while trying to figure out what I was actually feeling.

    Later around 3:45pm I got an angry call from my girlfriend wondering why I haven’t picked her up yet. “I’m so sorry, I was feeling sick and I went home early. I will--” She cut me off, “You can’t handle anything.! I am tired of your crap.! Ugh, I should tell my dad about this.!” “Please.! Don’t tell him, I will make it up to you.” I was speaking fast and with out a breath. “Fine.! But I won’t hesitate telling my dad if you pull some bullshit like this again.” She snapped. “Got it.!?” “Yeah,” I added and hung up.

    I pulled into the school parking lot and Sharon got in the car in a huff. “You can never do anything for Me.! Next time, don’t be such a p***y and stay at school when you get sick. You’re just like your mom, a ******** b***h who can’t do anything for your self.” I stopped the car abruptly and glared down at the steering wheel. “Don’t talk about my mother like that..” I mumbled. “You know she was a whore and couldn’t support herself, let alone you. That’s why she left you with your dad and died from messing around with drug addicts.” She rolled her eyes and filed her nails.

    “I said don’t talk about my mother like that.!” I yelled and hit the seat with a hard punch. Sharon stared at me with wide eyes; She had never seen me this angry. “I’m sick of YOUR s**t and all your picking at every single thing I do. And you know what.? I don’t love you and I never have.! I’m just dating you because your father is my dad’s boss. If it wasn’t for your dad, I wouldn’t be beaten over everything you complain that I do.! I‘m over it, we’re over.!” I don’t think She knew how to reply, so she sat in silence.

    When I got home from dropping off Sharon, I knew she had told her father because my dad called me into the living room. “Ian.! Sit right there.” He glared at me and slapped down the book he had been reading. “What happened today.?” He asked hypothetically. “Nothing.” I said looking off to the side. He grabbed me by the throat and stared me dead in the eye. “Don’t you dare lie to me, boy.! Now what did you tell Sharon.?” He growled as he tightened his grip on my throat. “I told her we were over.” I choked.

    The next day I went to school full of bruises and I lied to every one of my teachers. I told them I fell off the roof playing around but they didn’t seem convinced. While I was in 6th period I asked the teacher to go to the restroom. I only went to get away from the grinning eyes of Gary and the Blue Crew. I looked into the mirror long and hard, staring at all the marks. Suddenly I heard the bathroom door close and lock. I turned to see who it was and it was Gary, a full grin on his face. ‘I see you did what I told you to.” He hummed. I gave him a glare; “it wasn’t because you asked. It was because I got tired of her crap.”

    It seemed like Gary glided over towards me, was I imagining this.? His hair was a perfectly golden brown and his eyes were like emeralds. ‘Why am I thinking of him like this.?’ my breathing began to increase slightly and a cool sweat went down my neck. Gary pushed me against the wall and pressed his lips on mine. ‘Okay I am definitely dreaming and Gary isn’t kissing me and I am not feeling these emotions towards him. Wait...these emotions.? I can’t be...gay.? Can I.?‘ Gary finally broke the kiss.

    “You know I’ve wanted you for the longest time.? I wanted you to leave that tramp just to get one chance with you.” He gave a devious smile. I tried to get away but he grabbed my wrists and slammed them over my head and against the wall. I jerked and tugged but his grip was tight on my wrists. “You won’t be going anywhere...” he put his lips on my neck and blew cool air. “Why are you doing this.?” I managed to say. “You can’t see it can you.?” He brung his lips up to my ear and whispered, “Because I love you.”

    My eye’s widened with shock, I tried to imagine this as a horribly disturbing nightmare. But the more I thought, the more confused I would get. I felt his warm tongue play with the tip of my earlobe and he began to nibble gently. Before long I knew it was certain...I was Gay. Nothing could stop these emotions from flooding my body or ruin this moment. Gary wasn’t holding back either; he knew exactly what to do and what he wanted. When it was over we laid breathing hard and our clothes sprawled on the cold tile floor. “Mhm, not bad.” Gary winked and let out a sigh.

    Everything after that was like a blur, I didn’t take my normal route home and I didn’t feel too hungry when dinner was ready. “What’s wrong with you, stupid.!?” My dad yelled as I stared blankly at my food. “Oh, nothing. I’m sorry.” I said as I started to eat. “You look like a ******** pansy, stop splashing around in pools and join a real mans sport. Like Football or Basketball. My son wont be looking like he is a straight sissy, ya’ hear.!” His voice booming. “Yes, sir.” I said and began to eat a bit more quickly to be alone in my room.

    I plopped on my bed and put my hands behind my head as I stared at the ceiling. ‘Who the hell was he to call me those names.? What a homophobe...’ my thoughts trailed off and regained themselves. “He can’t know of me being Gay...and he surely can’t know about today.’ I was too tired to think anymore, so I hopped in the shower and let hot water trickle down my chest and in back of my neck. As I climbed into bed I looked over at a photo of my mother gave my usual prayer and went to bed.

    The morning started out rather bad. I forgot to type up my essay, I left my lunch card somewhere, and I couldn’t seem to think properly in any of my classes. I hadn’t seen Gary since yesterday and I was positive when I would see him, no doubt, the Blue Crew would be with him. I tried to navigate my day as smoothly as possible until I found a note in my locker. “Come to the shed near the football field right after school.” is what it read. No name, not even any initials were there.

    After school I did what the note said and made my way to the shed that all the football equipment would be. ‘Why am I here.? Who would want to meet me at this place.?’ I didn’t even get to answer myself when Gary came around the corner and pushed my against the middle with a hard kiss. “I enjoyed or fun we had yesterday so I wanted to see you again.” He breathed through the kissing. I shook out of my trance, “No.! Wait.! You cant just torture me during school and try to mess around when your buddies aren’t around.!” I pushed him away.

    Gary gave a frustrated face then wrapped his arm around my waist. “I know I am a real jerk when the guys are around but they don’t know I’m Gay and would totally diss me if they found out.” He looked at me with sad eye’s. “I’m sorry for all the years of bullshit I put you through and even now I bet you can’t forgive me. But...” His voice sounded a bit shaken. “I’ve loved you for the longest time..Only hiding my feelings by giving you pain.”

    I lifted up his chin and gave him a kiss along the corner of his mouth. He gave a weak smile as if he thought I was going to hit him next. “I accept your apology but what about tomorrow and the next day.? Are you planning on beating the crap out of me and saying sorry later on every time.?” I asked. He gave a face as if he hadn’t thought about that. “I...I’m going to leave the crew...spend my time actually doing something productive and treat you how you should be treated.” He kissed me passionately. “I swear.”

    Those months after that were the best of my life. Gary told his friends he was done with them, they didn’t dare to stop him. We eventually came out to our friends and it spread around the school as fast as it was heard. The result wasn’t that bad either, we got lots of handshakes and pats on the back, a little name calling here and there. We even went to the prom together. When my dad found out about what I had been doing, he kicked me out. Luckily, I was able to move in with Gary. A year later he proposed to me, and after that...It was history.