• February 26th 1944
    tab Today, the last things on my to-do list have been satisfied. I have finished the sketch of my mother Jola (meaning velvet flower) and a bouquet of elegant off white roses. My mother is stunningly lovely and has always had an intriguing aroma of new leather couches and sweet kisses in the rain that softy surrounds her. Strangely I would have to say that my two brothers are the same way. Though they don’t like it and try to cover it up, it’s always with them. My father and I (Angyalka, meaning Angelic) unfortunately are not privileged to have such scent follow us. My father is built as strong as an Ox, but as sweet and innocent as a kitten. If emotions get in his way he breaks down. He also is always trying to be a good role model for my brothers, even though he might die, by helping the community fight the Germans away, just so my brothers could be inspired. So right now he is fighting at the border with others to try to keep the Germans out of our country.
    tab I live in Budapest, Hungary. I am a 16 year old female German. I have a lot of Jewish friends yet I, myself, am not Jewish and have no intention of being so. Most of the Germans are separated from Jews because of religion but I see no difference besides who we pray to and our lifestyles. My friends seem to have no problem who they are and what they practice. The reason why I am scared for them is that my father has been sending back news that a German leader named Adolf Hitler has been congregating people who think that all people should be German and practice the same religion. They want to wipe out the weak, old, and all the Jewish. I see no reason why, but my father says it is true. I have asked my entire group of friends if they have heard the news and they say that they haven’t. I trust them.
    tab I think that my father knows something that others don’t, or he is making things up. My brothers are saying that they are not coming for that purpose. At this time our little town on the outskirts of Budapest is very poor and is getting no money for schools and roads. The community does that themselves. Both of my brothers say that they are coming to help us. They might be right but this Adolf guy doesn’t seem like that kind of person. My Father describes him as a “dirty old fool that knows nothing about feelings and religion”. That is a bad description for the next person soon to be ruler.
    tab It is time for dinner right now which reminds me about something. Goulash is a very popular food that both of my brothers are actually really good at making. They share the small kitchen and almost never get in each other’s way. They divide the load of the cooking up into two equal parts where one is not waiting for the other. They have become accustomed to this routine that now they make it twice a week. I started getting sick of it the first two weeks. If we don’t have it fresh, then we eat the leftovers. They have to find mothers biggest pot to cook it in. All of my friends at school are also getting sick of watching me eat the goulash every day for lunch. Anyway, we had it for dinner tonight, again.


    March 2nt 1944

    tab For the last couple of days my father has been back from the border and has been trying to tell my mother more about the Germans progress. He thinks that we are too young to know about this stuff and wishes us to not know. He told us to go wash the cars. “It is a beautiful day; you three should be outside and soak this all up,” was his excuse to get us out of the house. Although he thinks my brothers and I are outside we were listening in on the news that is news. His loss and our gain.
    tab My father finally spilled that they are not even a day away. The others that were at the border with my father are doing everything they can possible to stall the Germans progress. Although my father has said before that they have sent different people out to the Germans to find where they are going and for what purpose. They have not been able to find out why they are coming, yet they know that they are coming to Hungary. I am personally scared about what they are going to do to those who get in their way. Again this Adolf Hitler seems like a malicious guy.
    tab My father has been arguing with my mother about whether we should leave the town or not. My mother does not wish to leave the house and her town and friends. My brothers see no reason to leave so they won’t. My father became infuriated and left at once. Mothers and his room is now very much empty and became so extremely fast. I guess that my father wanted to get out as soon as he could.
    tab The rest of the day went by slow. It was brainless and uneventful, ordinary and plain. Even thought my father was not around a lot, it just seems even duller without his stuff. He belonged to most of the clothes in the little closet for laundry, his shoes were scattered everywhere and his hats were hung on every corner in the house.
    tab There is also more goulash in the fridge. More than normal. The point is that the house was really empty without his stuff. He does own a lot of stuff. I thought that either I or my brothers would have the most stuff. I guess not.
    tab I think that the Germans want war, same as my dad, yet I am choosing not to do anything. “Budapest, My Hometown, Will Not Perish From the Wrath of the German Soldiers.” That is a promise I make to my country, to my city, to my village, and to my friends and family.

    March 14th 1944

    tab The Germans have come and are still here. This is their second day actually. Yesterday they came and infected our village with men in matching uniforms smothered in dirt. Every single house on our block has been invaded with three or more of the German soldiers. One first came in and interrupted our leftover lunch of goulash that my brothers made two nights before. The man that came in had us line up in a row in our living room facing the street.
    tab At that time two other men came in and started searching our house for something. The first soldier started asking us questions about our family and strangely about our religion. Of course we told him about our father but we couldn’t tell him where he was. He tried so hard to probe it out of us but we don’t know anything. I was wondering how long he was going to keep asking us the same question over and over again. The only thing we told him, and could tell him, is that he left because he didn’t want to see this place one they arrived. My father had no intention of telling us where he went probably for this reason.
    tab When the first soldier slammed the door down and invited himself in, my eldest brother did this extremely high pitched scream that sounded like a little girl; a scream that even made the soldier first jump, then laugh. I was still laughing from that when he lined us up. I do tend to carry things, which are not all that funny, out for longer than they intend to be.
    tab One of the German soldiers came out with a couple of one of my brothers yearbooks and asked whose they were. He raised his hand and said that they were his freshman yearbook and that they were very important to him. The other soldier came out and asked were our father’s things were. My mother paused before responding. The expressions on the soldiers face showed doubt about believing what was coming out of my mother’s mouth.
    tab The soldier with the attention of both of my brothers quickly grasped the attention of everyone in the room by doing something to those yearbooks that immediately turned my brother’s faces from curious to infuriated so fast you couldn’t see the change without slowing the scene down by a lot.
    tab The soldier suddenly went outside with the two yearbooks and lit them on fire. I couldn’t imagine how both of my brothers are feeling as they watch their yearbooks go up in flames. I think that one of my brothers actually twitched because he is so mad. This is a loss that would seem to last forever.
    tab As night fell, the pile of burning books grew bigger as other soldiers threw in their own findings. With the huge burning pile of books right outside my room window, I could not get to bed. My room is now almost empty, along with my whole house and our neighbor’s houses. Because of this I just couldn’t get to bed, but when I finally did, I couldn’t stay asleep. The events of that day ran through my head as I slept turning my once joyful dreams into repulsive thoughts.

    April 28th 1944

    tab For the last month and a half the Germans have been running everything. All of my Jewish friends have gone to who-knows-where and many people have come and gone. They occupy the houses that were once beautiful and belonged to many Jewish people. The houses now look dim, lacking, gloomy, and abandoned. I miss my school friends and wish that they are alright.
    tab The Germans have been lining them up in the streets every three days at precisely one o’clock in the afternoon. Some of the soldiers are holding others back and two or three are keeping those in the line moving forward.
    tab After the line has gone away and the people who were watching go back into their houses, a new group of Jews come in and occupy the houses that are left behind. This routine has been happening ever since the German soldiers came. All of the Jews that come and go never disobey the orders that are screamed into their ears. None of them show any signs of having dreams; none of them even have a single twinkle of hope in their eyes.