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  • Artist Info: #1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply. <br />
    <br />
    #2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is <br />
    thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. <br />
    * Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit <br />
    the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium. <br />
    <br />
    #3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud <br />
    sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. <br />
    <br />
    #4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust <br />
    equals constant velocity. <br />
    <br />
    #5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a <br />
    mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects <br />
    known to human science. <br />
    <br />
    #6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero <br />
    whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and <br />
    lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight. <br />
    <br />
    #7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of <br />
    two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out <br />
    affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human <br />
    existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime <br />
    heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg <br />
    and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something. <br />
    <br />
    #8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... <br />
    regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they <br />
    don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is <br />
    attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain. <br />
    <br />
    #9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are <br />
    depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color <br />
    (usually red or white). <br />
    <br />
    #10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a <br />
    "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 <br />
    different angles. <br />
    <br />
    #11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. <br />
    First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first. <br />
    Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to <br />
    human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, <br />
    sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City". <br />
    <br />
    #12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. <br />
    <br />
    #13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly <br />
    referred to as an energy "bulge" wink before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because <br />
    of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the <br />
    Law of Inherent Combustibility. <br />
    <br />
    #14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any <br />
    object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass. <br />
    First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also <br />
    known as the A-Ko phenomenon. <br />
    <br />
    #15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of <br />
    course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious. <br />
    <br />
    #16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form <br />
    of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the <br />
    "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot <br />
    decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a <br />
    drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and <br />
    several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle <br />
    of an open field will always miss. <br />
    First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will <br />
    hit anyone or do any real damage. <br />
    Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, <br />
    the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a <br />
    single burst of automatic fire and then escape. <br />
    Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is <br />
    in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, <br />
    which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, <br />
    firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex <br />
    martial arts maneuvers. <br />
    *Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he <br />
    will hit. <br />
    <br />
    #17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The <br />
    Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs <br />
    to get out more.) <br />
    <br />
    #18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, <br />
    sometimes more, under high pressure. <br />
    <br />
    #19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at <br />
    least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not <br />
    unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work <br />
    just as well... <br />
    <br />
    #20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and <br />
    large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped <br />
    and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a <br />
    song. <br />
    First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes <br />
    up against an entire army, the army always loses. <br />
    <br />
    #21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t... <br />
    <br />
    #22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little <br />
    things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. <br />
    <br />
    #23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost <br />
    twice as annoying. <br />
    <br />
    #24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, <br />
    either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy". <br />
    First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb <br />
    Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line <br />
    Effect) <br />
    Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American <br />
    translators are the American editors and censors. <br />
    *Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome <br />
    "Good Guys". <br />
    <br />
    #25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly <br />
    proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. <br />
    <br />
    #26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: <br />
    1) be female. <br />
    2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. <br />
    3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any. <br />
    <br />
    #27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of <br />
    destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and <br />
    used as a last resort. <br />
    <br />
    #28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate <br />
    a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity. <br />
    <br />
    #29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of <br />
    martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing <br />
    aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is <br />
    attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil. <br />
    <br />
    #30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are <br />
    hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason. <br />
    <br />
    #31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is <br />
    considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or <br />
    explanation. <br />
    <br />
    #32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and <br />
    can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical <br />
    abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s <br />
    hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons! <br />
    <br />
    #34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable <br />
    guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of <br />
    whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive <br />
    amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off <br />
    somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, <br />
    then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the <br />
    Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably <br />
    wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them. <br />
    First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to <br />
    extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. <br />
    Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer <br />
    invulnerable to any form of damage. <br />
    *Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is <br />
    indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, <br />
    or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice <br />
    attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of <br />
    Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 4 cool <br />
    <br />
    #35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, <br />
    playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" <br />
    things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so <br />
    on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before. <br />
    <br />
    #36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good <br />
    Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic <br />
    positions, which are: <br />
    1) The Hero/Leader <br />
    2) His Girlfriend <br />
    3) His Best Friend/Rival <br />
    4) A Hulking Brute <br />
    5) A Dwarf/Kid <br />
    Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: <br />
    1) Extreme Coolness <br />
    2) Amazing Intelligence <br />
    3) Incredible Irritation <br />
    <br />
    #37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an <br />
    extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from <br />
    which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious <br />
    dimension is commonly called "Malletspace". <br />
    First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a <br />
    heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas. <br />
    <br />
    #38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is <br />
    because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released <br />
    at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in <br />
    the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are <br />
    actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is <br />
    because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the <br />
    back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat <br />
    gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. <br />
    <br />
    #39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely <br />
    proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the <br />
    less you get and vice-versa. <br />
    First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real <br />
    world... <br />
    <br />
    #40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get <br />
    erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current <br />
    theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see <br />
    Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush <br />
    along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region. <br />
    <br />
    #41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal <br />
    swords, if not sharper. <br />
    <br />
    #42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it <br />
    done in half the time and twice the angst. <br />
    <br />
    #43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43. <br />
    <br />
    #44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a <br />
    martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of <br />
    the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect). <br />
    <br />
    #45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the <br />
    transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" <br />
    witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to <br />
    interrupt it. <br />
    <br />
    #46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy <br />
    mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives. <br />
    <br />
    *#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some <br />
    unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or <br />
    spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind <br />
    the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry. <br />
    <br />
    *#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or <br />
    burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, <br />
    your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect" wink . <br />
    First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, <br />
    wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) <br />
    to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and <br />
    letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in <br />
    part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44. <br />
    <br />
    *#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will <br />
    get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform <br />
    magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as <br />
    the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor" wink This is because he always deserves it, and will <br />
    help him to cope in today’s society. (&gt;Sniff Sniff&lt; So True!!) <br />
    <br />
    *#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are <br />
    under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY <br />
    small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). <br />
    Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression. <br />
    <br />
    *#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws <br />
    44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and <br />
    the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of <br />
    the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" <br />
    witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack <br />
    are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave <br />
    Phenomenon" wink <br />
    <br />
    *52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters <br />
    (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or <br />
    perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons <br />
    for this are: <br />
    1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. <br />
    2) They just don’t give a damn. <br />
    The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: <br />
    1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. <br />
    2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. <br />
    3) They just don’t give a damn. <br />
    <br />
    #53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum. <br />
    <br />
    #54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, <br />
    wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. <br />
    First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, <br />
    etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying <br />
    pan or something. <br />
    <br />
    #55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and <br />
    withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power <br />
    weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything. <br />
    <br />
    #56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons <br />
    will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. <br />
    First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome <br />
    which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use <br />
    it against the "Good Guy". <br />
    Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military <br />
    device without one of the following events occurring: <br />
    a) The control device being broken. <br />
    The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". <br />
    c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just <br />
    "fooled" by the "Good Guy". <br />
    d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device. <br />
    <br />
    #57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of <br />
    the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman. <br />
    <br />
    #58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, <br />
    resulting in two outcomes: <br />
    a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me <br />
    look. <br />
    A negative charge will result in the <br />
    hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look. <br />
    <br />
    #59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition <br />
    available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate <br />
    when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 <br />
    for speaker pods) <br />
    <br />
    #60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s <br />
    attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. <br />
    (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing <br />
    girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot <br />
    couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.) <br />
    <br />
    #61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an <br />
    awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, <br />
    except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single <br />
    drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11. <br />
    <br />
    #62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years <br />
    is never as good as someone who has been training for one month. <br />
    <br />
    #63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the <br />
    few... of even the one. <br />
    <br />
    #64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be <br />
    funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall <br />
    to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. <br />
    *(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.) <br />
    <br />
    #65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the <br />
    male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually <br />
    helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can <br />
    sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the <br />
    guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49) <br />
    <br />
    #66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- <br />
    First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater <br />
    than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse <br />
    coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least <br />
    500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". <br />
    Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to <br />
    normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also <br />
    inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all <br />
    actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot <br />
    from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. <br />
    of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a <br />
    mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing <br />
    this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential. <br />
    <br />
    #67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the <br />
    Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be <br />
    increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does <br />
    not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads <br />
    to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by <br />
    an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient. <br />
    <br />
    #68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the <br />
    control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through <br />
    means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. <br />
    First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which <br />
    clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant <br />
    Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at <br />
    will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and <br />
    lethality of the maneuver. <br />
    Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or <br />
    disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not <br />
    always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where <br />
    the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of <br />
    Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension. <br />
    <br />
    #69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any <br />
    situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding <br />
    increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually <br />
    come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in <br />
    Ambient Dramatic Tension. <br />
    <br />
    #70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a <br />
    survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly <br />
    and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often <br />
    referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain <br />
    activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in <br />
    slow motion. <br />
    <br />
    #71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male <br />
    character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at <br />
    another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an <br />
    interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of <br />
    Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and <br />
    65) <br />
    <br />
    #72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head <br />
    shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the <br />
    wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages <br />
    will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene. <br />
    <br />
    #73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to <br />
    a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking <br />
    sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the <br />
    edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly <br />
    past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime. <br />
    <br />
    #74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When <br />
    faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime <br />
    characters will either: <br />
    a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and <br />
    exposition]), <br />
    Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a <br />
    position to ravish beautiful girls, or <br />
    c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling. <br />
    <br />
    #75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can <br />
    summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette. <br />
    <br />
    #76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a <br />
    secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around <br />
    him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise? <br />
    <br />
    #77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick <br />
    strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the <br />
    elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 4 cool <br />
    <br />
    #78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST <br />
    capable of dealing with it. <br />
    <br />
    *#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial <br />
    arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with <br />
    your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just <br />
    doesn’t work in real life... <br />
    <br />
    *#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is <br />
    male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a <br />
    shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain <br />
    is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole <br />
    (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician. <br />
    <br />
    *#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if <br />
    you’re normally a klutz. <br />
    <br />
    *#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a <br />
    Hentai anime is to start having sex. <br />
    <br />
    *#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become <br />
    possible. <br />
    First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the <br />
    hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he <br />
    is wrong and will invariably be toastied. <br />
    <br />
    *#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed <br />
    by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could <br />
    accomplish... but his old teacher did! <br />
    <br />
    *#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire <br />
    straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see <br />
    Laws #67, 69, and 84) <br />
    <br />
    *#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in <br />
    beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won <br />
    against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they <br />
    tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. <br />
    Usually this results in: <br />
    a) The hero escaping. <br />
    Clean-up for the underlings. <br />
    c) The villain getting toastied. <br />
    <br />
    <br />
    *#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon. <br />
    <br />
    *#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have <br />
    the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, <br />
    rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling <br />
    themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up. <br />
    <br />
    *#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large <br />
    penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the <br />
    size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it... <br />
    <br />
    *#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following <br />
    characteristics: <br />
    1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. <br />
    2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas. <br />
    <br />
    *#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and <br />
    up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive <br />
    vagina. <br />
    <br />
    *#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance <br />
    while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them <br />
    introducing themselves. <br />
    <br />
    *#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at <br />
    least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! <br />
    First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a <br />
    Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the <br />
    male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following <br />
    him around is there because: <br />
    1) It’s his girlfriend’s. <br />
    2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. <br />
    3) Chicks will dig him more. <br />
    Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by <br />
    a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, <br />
    real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal <br />
    that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: <br />
    1) It’s her boyfriend’s. <br />
    2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. <br />
    3) It makes her look cool. <br />
    <br />
    *#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability <br />
    that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like <br />
    bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck" wink , even though <br />
    they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the <br />
    Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks. <br />
    <br />
    *#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any <br />
    human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!..." wink <br />
    First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime <br />
    girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, <br />
    but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the <br />
    skin of the tentacle... <br />
    Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never <br />
    experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also <br />
    known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). <br />
    Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human <br />
    relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again. <br />
    <br />
    *#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, <br />
    sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage <br />
    begins to occur. <br />
    First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it <br />
    from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko <br />
    Thing" wink <br />
    <br />
    *#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that <br />
    enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being <br />
    immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".) <br />
    <br />
    *#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or <br />
    spaceborne, have the following crew members: <br />
    1) The captain <br />
    2) His Lieutenant <br />
    3) Various female technical staff <br />
    4) A hotshot pilot <br />
    5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) <br />
    6) The Doctor <br />
    7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) <br />
    Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: <br />
    1) Extreme coolness/luck <br />
    2) Amazing Intelligence <br />
    3) Incredible irritation <br />
    4) Extreme cuteness <br />
    5) Irresponsible drunkenness <br />
    6) Homophobicness <br />
    7) Emotionless (Idiots.) <br />
    <br />
    *#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest <br />
    appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said <br />
    character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. <br />
    No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At <br />
    least, Marker Apenname seems to think so... <br />
    <br />
    *#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen. <br />
    <br />
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