Last Login: 11/24/2009 2:03 am
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Birthday: 02/14
If there's nothing here (heart), this (head) means nothing.
I
C_LEiA
'Tis
a consummation
devoutly
to be wished.
I know the feeling
It is the real thing
The essence of the truth
The perfect moment
That golden moment
I know you feel it too
I know the feeling
It is the real thing
You can't refuse the embrace...
It's like the pattern below the skin
You gotta reach out and pull it all in
And you feel like you're too close
So you swallow another dose
The pinnacle of happiness
Filling up your soul
You don't think you can take any more
You never wanna let go
To touch the roots of experience
The most basic ingredients
To see the unseen glitter of life
And feel the dirt, grief, anger and strife
Cherish the certainly of now
It kills you a bit at a time
Cradle the inspiration
It will leave you writhing on the floor...
This is so unreal, what I feel
This nourishment, life is bent
Into a shape I can hold
A twist of fate, all my own
Just grit your teeth, make no sound
Take a step away and look around
Just clench your fist and close your eyes
Look deep inside, hypnotize
The whisper is but a shout
That's what it is all about
Yes, the ecstasy, you can pray
You will never let it slip away
Like the sacred song that someone sings through you
Like the flesh so warm that the thorn sticks into
Like the dream you know one day will come to life
Try to hold on just a little longer, stronger
It's the jewel of victory
The chasm of misery
And once you have bitten the core
You will always know the flavor
The split second of divinity
You drink up the sky
All of heaven is in your arms
You know the reason why
It's right there, all by itself
And what you are, there is nothing else
You're growing a life within a life
The lips of wonder kiss you inside
And when it's over the feeling remains
It all comes down to this
The smoke clears, I see what it is
That made me feel this way...
This is so unreal, what I feel
Flood, sell your soul, feel the blood
Pump through your veins, can't explain
The element that's everything
Just clench your fist and close your eyes
Look deep inside, hypnotize
Yes, the ecstasy, you can pray
You will never let it slip away
Like the echoes of your childhood laughter, ever after
Like the first time love urged you to take it's guidance, in silence
Like your heartbeat when you realize you're dying, but you're trying
Like the way you cry for a happy ending, ending...
I know
do please
View All Comments
Ah... well...
My reality was certainly shattered today (though I don't mean to suddenly change the subject). Found out that my best friend's dad - someone who me and all my/her/our friends knew very well considering the amount of time we've spent with their family and whatnot - was murdered last night by his wife (my friend's mom). I'm like.. in a state of shock/disbelief. Like.. this friend of mine comes from very intelligent parents. She herself is very intelligent - she was the valedictorian of my graduating class. Her younger sister who's still in high school is the lead in just about every theatrical production at her school. Her father was a professor of software engineering at the local university. It's not the kind of thing you'd expect from a family like theirs. I mean - we all knew her mom was crazy. But murder? I just still can't believe it. I can't even count on my fingers how many times I've had dinner at their house or went to the art museum with them. It's insane. What's worse is that my friend doesn't even know! She goes to college out of state and university is shut down becuase of Thanks Giving. She's spending the holiday with her boyfriend's family and her phone has been off all this time. We figure she would have tried to contact her sister if she knew. Everything is suddenly falling apart. You never expect this kind of thing to happen....
Is it him you're so in love with... or the idea of him?
Speaking of Mr. Darcy, I was watching Pride and Prejudice last night. Oddly, it made me think of you. Haha. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you seem to be doing better. Though, I'm sorry you're still struggling over that guy. You must really like him a lot if you're still crushing over him. It's been a while, hasn't it?
I suppose I've been doing okay. Despite my uncreative and scarcely updated profile, I'm actually on Gaia pretty frequently. Maybe not as much as before. Lately, I've been on a romance kick - reading romance stories, watching romance movies/anime... it's one of the many cycles I phase in and out of. I think I've spent most of the last week reading Twilight, as ashamed as I am to admit it. Unlike you, I -haven't- been very productive lately, haha. But my classes this semester are fairly easy, so it's been fine. Just keep swimming! I tell myself that a lot.
Thanks. I've heard very similar things, that the problems will never really "go away," but that you need to know how to get through the moments when they come.
The picture in my siggy I just found online. *shrug* The actual lyrics, though, are from a song by AFI, "The Leaving Song." Here's a link if you want to hear it. It's really pretty:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-YoCIGY_fY
Hello. =D
How have you been?
I'm losing weight, no longer living with my mother, and actively involved in three clubs at my college... How's life going for you?? XD I am so sorry, I seriously have a REALLY hard time maintaining internet friends... I find it so hard to talk to someone I dont know face-to-face everyday..so I kind of normally stop responding to people's emails...cuz I am a loser like that. Actually I am pretty swamped in course work every FREAKING day, I cannot wait until Decembed 11th gets here and I get a month away from school (which ill be doing full time work then) Life's a blah. the norm, I am doing exactly what a good little 18yr old girl should do... I suppose... Things have gotten alot better for me socially, but the problem is I have not changed.. so all these social situations in which I am being placed in are causing EXTREME anxiety for me... GAHHHH!...Anywho? Did you go back to school?
-Laughs- No I can't. Why would I want to be normal like the rest of you guys? xD
Hi Chryss!! Sorry it took me so long to get back to your comment but I rarely check on Gaia anymore. ^^ As for my mammogram, I ended up getting one of that and ultimately 2 ultrasounds, an FNA biopsy, and finally a breast MRI (which is apparently one of the best choices for imaging), all of which turned out as nothing harmful. This all happened about 2 years ago and although sometimes the lump in my breast still hurts a bit, I think I got all the testing I could, trust the doctors I went to, and am currently healthy (I am a bit of a hypochondriac, to be honest so I can get "stuck" on certain perceived illnesses).
Hopefully everything went all right for you as well!! Please take care of yourself, bb. wink
wow.. im pretty much the opposite of you.. very minimal work, no school.. so much time for myself.. so it's pretty lonely for me and I understand how you are, when I had my work last semester (no school) I don't even have time to turn on the computer xDD
I wish you're doing good in school, btw may I know what you're taking in college.. I'm still taking care of some requirements for school transfer and gonna be taking up accounting XDD
hey how are you lately