The mistakes of the fool are known to the world, but not to himself. The mistakes of the wise man are known to himself, but not to the world.

Charles Caleb Colton

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus.

Robin Williams
American Actor & Comedian

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...

Robin Williams

Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.
Louis L'Amour

At a nunnery, all 100 nuns are called to a meeting. The head nun begins to speak:
"Something terrible has happened, last night i found a pair of lace underpants in the hallway"

99 nuns gasped, but 1 giggled

"And' the head nun continued "There was a condom in them"

99 nuns gasped, 1 giggled

"And!" the nun went on "the condom had a hole in it!!!"

99 nuns giggled, and 1 gasped

A man who smelled like a distillery, flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"It's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man!"

"Well, I'll be damned...!" the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father, I was just reading here that the Pope does."

(488 votes) Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

Anonymous

Life goes through changes so fast, you think your life is great, than one of your best friends dies. Then you think you found someone you truly love, only to figure out, she doesn't love you back. You cry and cry and cry, but nothing changes. You realize, that you must accept things for what they are, and what they have made you become. Everything in life changes you in some way. Even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser, as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once. Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you, and learn from them. There's always tomorrow.

Adam R. Gwizdala

http://s7.bite-fight.us/c.php?uid=96450

Christianity:
The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so that he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a nude woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...yah makes a lot of sense.

Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not Omnipotent
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent
Is he both able and willing?
Then Whence Cometh Evil?
Is he niether able nor willing?
Then why call him God?

~Epicurus

4.You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

Sam Keen

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not is a fool, shun him
He who knows not and knows he knows not is a child, teach him
He who knows and knows not that he knows is asleep wake him
He who knows and knows that he knows, is wise, follow him

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
Orson Welles, The Third Man, 1949